Spirit Bound: Redemption
by steffy2106
Summary: My own version of Spirit bound. Starts 5 days after the end of Blood Promise. Contains lots of spoilers so don’t read if you didn’t read Blood Promise. Rated T for language. Read and Review D
1. Chapter 1

**Author Note:** So here we go guys. I told you I'll post my own version of Spirit bound as soon as I read Blood promise.

I really hope you'll enjoy it, you can find the playlist for the blood promise/Spirit bound on my profile.

I also would like to take a minute to thanks Megan for taking the type to beta the story, she is fantastic.

And thanks to my friends that I keep harassing with my 'little' VA obsession.

Don't forget to review!!

Take care =D

**Chapter 1**

"You wouldn't," I said to Dimitri as we were standing in the middle of the room.

"Try me!" He snarled tightening his grip around Lissa's neck. "I'm strigoi remember?"

"But what's the point?" I asked taking an offensive stand, not really knowing how I could attack him and make him let go of Lissa before she got hurt. She would run away and I would probably end up killed but that was not even relevant.

"Fun? Challenge? Revenge? Pleasure?" He shrugged still holding Lissa. "You pick… your guess is as good as mine." He said with his now usual humorless and cold laugh.

"You don't want to do that" I said in a silly attempt to resurrect a tiny part of my Dimitri.

"I told you…That moroi is no concern of mine anymore. Only you are." He said jaw locked.

"Please…Please don't hurt her. I'll…I'll do anything." I added with defeat, raising my hands in surrender and letting go of my fighting stance.

"No Rose don't." Lissa whimpered and Dimitri growled tightening his grip around her neck.

"I have some questions before," he said repeating the exact words I used when he held me hostage.

I looked at him without a word as an invitation to continue.

"Would it have changed anything?" He asked cocking his head to the side.

"Would what?" I asked confused.

"If I told you that I loved you on that bridge…Would you have joined me?" He asked with such a neutral voice that it actually gave me a chill.

"Would you have meant it?" I asked expectantly, my heart racing. That was the question that kept me awake, eating me up inside.

"Does it matter?" He asked with his still cold voice.

I sighed. I was almost convinced strigoi couldn't love anyways. "If you let her go… I'll join you." I said with my head held high.

"Rose…" Sobbed Lissa.

Dimitri looked at me for a minute and laughed. "You know what it doesn't matter anymore." He said seriously. "You staked me twice and I think you deserve a little punishment before I awaken you. You'll understand then, but I think your last minutes of pure agony will be punishment enough."

"Why---" I started but he broke Lissa's neck.

I screamed with all I had. The pain I felt was almost impossible to bear and that's when I jumped out of bed screaming and kicking with my hair stacked with sweat.

_It was just a nightmare _I thought breathless. _Just a terrible horrific nightmare_. I added to myself getting off the bed in need of a shower.

I looked at the clock beside my bed and sighed, still two hours before breakfast and I didn't deal with being alone that well these days. It gave me time to think and it was breaking my heart. Too many questions and so much incertitude. I was back four days now and it was my first night back to the dorms that was probably why I was shaken...I was just so confused about everything.

Once under the shower I started to feel better, feeling the burning water on my back made me think of the contrast with Dimitri's icy cold hand, causing me to shiver.

And I was asking myself the same question that I was asking since Dimitri hit the dark water. If I gave him the chance after that will he have said _'I love you too' _and more importantly would he have meant it?

I didn't realize that I was crying as the hot water was running down my face. Damn this experience was supposed to make me stronger, I thought I killed the love of my life. I say 'thought' because I failed…twice! But I was not stronger, a part of me was weaker…I realized that even the great Rose Hathaway had her weaknesses. I almost turned the blood whore of a strigoi… Hell I did turn into the blood whore of a strigoi!! And now that I realized he wasn't dead I could feel that weakness in me, that weakness I didn't know was there before.

I dried quickly and dressed for training as I was supposed to meet Alberta to train in an hour now. I still couldn't believe that she decided to put the effort to help me graduate. Well I guessed Zmey senior was a part of it but still, she had been kind and sad for my loss I needed to ask her about that.

_Zmey…My father. _I thought looking at myself in the mirror I recognized his eyes in mine, his skin tone, even his angry sarcastic smile was the same as mine. Now that I knew the truth it seemed almost impossible to ignore our genetic connection.

I turned around and let my eyes roam to the desk where Dimitri's note was. I brushed the envelope with my fingertips which made my heart ache. I couldn't grieve anymore, I knew for sure he was still walking around…probably plotting my death but shamefully that was not what disturbed me the most.

No what was disturbing me was that I maybe had a chance to save him. I knew it was total utopia and that even if I managed to get all the settings right (which was almost impossible) Robert Duros was probably totally insane by now if not dead and it could also very easily be a lie. So every part of my logical self said to drop it, to be prepared for when Dimitri comes for me and this time end it…by his death or mine. But there was this small part of me, this tiny but powerful part, that kept telling me that I had to keep hoping that there still was some hope. As small as it was, I knew deep down that this minor hint of hope could very well kill me.

I sighed heavily, deciding to run laps before joining Alberta for training. That was at least a lesson given by Dimitri I didn't forget. When you didn't have any weapons to defend yourself what should you do? _RUN!!_ and boy did it help me during my 5 weeks away.

My legs were starting to hurt badly as I only started my third lap that was insane!! Only 6 weeks without training, a week as a blood whore, and some good ( already healed) beatings. I was almost back to the starting point. I felt like I did last September… incompetent.

"Don't use all your strength Rose…You'll need it with me." Alberta shouted from the other side of the track where the gym was.

I ran to meet her, I really didn't know what to expect of a training session with Alberta Petrov.

"It's okay Guardian Petrov I need the exercise." I said dismissively.

She looked at me thoughtfully and I could see the sorrow deep in her eyes before she could hide it again.

We walked into the gym and it was stupid of me not to expect the shooting pain that over powered me when I looked around.

I hoped I was doing my best to hide the pain from my face but I didn't think I fooled her as she just stood there without talking letting me time to be myself again.

You know how they say your life flashes in front of your eyes when you are about to die well it was exactly what happened here except that it was the moments with Dimitri that flashed before my eyes, every fight, every touch, every kiss, every laughter and except that I was not dying...not physically at least.

My heart was aching in my chest like…Like I was having an heart attack. Who would have thought that a broken heart could literally hurt?

After a little while, I took a deep breath stood straighter, concentrating on Alberta again.

She was kind enough to ignore my reaction and talked like I didn't go in 'weirdo mode' for the past 5 minutes or so.

"Well I think you should train with more than one guardian you know, adapt to more than one method." she said sitting down on a bench patting the spot beside her.

"I bet you have so many volunteers" I said sitting.

She had a small smile playing on her lips "Actually I did get two." She said shooting me a sidelong glance.

"Really?" I asked honestly surprised.

She nodded. "Guardian Alto and…" I was about to interrupt but the second name shut me down, "Guardian Hathaway."

"Guardian… my mom? But what about her charge??" I asked completely dumbfounded. That was so not like my mother to stay behind.

"Yeah she managed to get assigned here for a while and I think that they knew it was useless to argue with someone as stubborn as she is." She chuckled. "I guess you know where you got that from."

I couldn't help but smile, my mother was a stubborn, controlling wiseass and my father was the same with a little addition of criminal… I never stood a chance… It was their fault if I was full of attitude and sarcasm, it was genetic.

"You know what…Maybe it's better if we start everything tomorrow." She stood up. "I'll work out a schedule and give it to you tomorrow ok?" She said before awkwardly squeezing my shoulder.

She turned around to leave but I couldn't help to ask. "How did you find out?" I blurted out.

She turned around and knew exactly what I was talking about. She took a deep breath and thought for a little while. "I guess a part of me always knew," she said quietly. "I knew… Dimitri a long time…" She said and I could see she used his first name for my benefit only and it was very nice of her. "I met him once when he was still a student and I crossed paths with him during his years as a guardian and there were always walls around him, he always had his guard up and when he lost his charge." Alberta shook her head. "He seemed tortured deep down but once you two started training I could see some subtle changes in him he seemed less tortured, so much more at peace and even happy and you…Oh Rose…" She smiled sadly. "I could see it in your eyes." She took a deep breathe "Then…Then we had the kidnapping and he was frantic, so much more than what a mentor should feel and part of me knew right then that he loved you so so much too."

I just looked at her not knowing what to say. I was not sure I could even speak, I just bit my bottom lip looking at her trying my best to contain my tears.

"I'll see you tomorrow," she added before exiting the gym.

I stayed there a little while longer looking around and trying to look good enough to join the others for breakfast as even if they tried to hide it they were worrying about me. I could feel it from Lissa, read it in Adrian's eyes and if the great Janine Hathaway decided to stay around it had to be the reason.

I walked slowly back to the commons. Now students were starting to move around I couldn't help but sigh to the not so discreet sidelong glances full of questions that they were giving me.

Some of the rumors were just crazy and some were funny. Some said that I just couldn't deal with the aftermath of the battle and needed to get institutionalized for a while. Others said I went rogue and left to hunt strigoi like Faith in _Buffy the vampire slayer _(not so wrong) and my personal favorite, I was such a bad ass that I went in an infiltration mission as a spy for the secret service.

Well I'd rather them think I was a spy or a rogue slayer or even psychotic than what I really was…a failure to my one promise and a temporary blood whore.

As soon as I made it to the table and saw Lissa smile I felt better it was like the part of my heart that belonged to her helped numb the part that used to, and still, belonged to Dimitri.

I barely reached my seat when she spoke.

"Rose I need you to help me." She said and I could feel the worry irradiating from her.


	2. Chapter 2

**A.N:** Hey guys!!!

Firstly let me thank you for all the reviews it means a lot to me, you know that right?

Anyways nobody cared about my rambling si I just wanted to thank Megan again for her hard work in _'Betaing' _my work.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything (unfortunately) it's all the fantastic Richelle =D

Please don't forget to review and tell me what you think ( or ill send Dimitri gone strigoi on you lol)

**Chapter 2**

"Well good morning to you too sunshine!" I said reaching for a sugar coated donut that was on the table.

Lissa always knew I was a sucker for sweets and sugar in general, it was always easier to have your way with me when I was full of it.

Lissa blushed slightly feeling embarrassed to have jumped on me like that. "Sorry," she said with a rueful smile.

"It's alright," I chuckled. I really did feel better when I was with her. "What can I do for you?" I asked before inhaling almost half of the donut. I didn't realize how hungry I was before sitting down at the table.

"It's Christian," she simply said and I could feel the pain, sorrow, and guilt radiating from her in huge waves.

I did my best to swallow as fast as I could without chocking and took the opportunity to quickly glance around the room. Like the previous days Christian was nowhere to be found. I knew he was doing it on purpose to avoid Lissa and he was doing one hell of a job. With the exception of the little chat we had the day I came back, I haven't run into him again. I was pretty sure he was coming to the commons very early or very late to avoid any of us.

"Awww Lissa come on." I said once my mouth was empty. "I know the situation is pretty messed up but he just needs some time…give it to him." I said even surprising myself. Who would have thought I would ever take Christian's defense? Not me! "Sending me to talk for you won't help that's for sure, the guy can be pretty stubborn" I added before taking a sip of my coffee. "I mean if I could help by beating him up or something I would but I don't think it would work." _Oh my god I really sound like Abe right now don't I?_ I added to myself as that was still a part of the story Lissa didn't know about.

She knew I met a man, well mobster boss, named Abe but at the time I related her the full adventure I didn't know Abe was my father. I decided to wait before telling her since I needed to figure the whole Victor plans before and because I was not sure if it was really my place to say. My mother and him did their best to hide it to everyone maybe there was a reason. However, I did tell her almost everything else and she would know it all eventually. It was the secrets that almost destroyed our friendship and ultimately almost cost her life. I just needed a little more time.

"No it's not that," she said shaking her head. "Well Christian always had some trust issues.. And I certainly didn't help with that," she said biting her bottom lip trying her best not to cry.

"Ok…." I said confused.

"Well he needs someone to talk to and even if he never said it out loud he…" she smiled. "He trusts you and he loves you. Please Rose….help him get better." She added going full force sad puppy on me.

I looked at her for a little while in silence. It was true that our little group were the only people Christian was talking to. He thought Adrian was a useless alcoholic, he was not close to Eddie and he certainly couldn't talk to one of his _'students'_. I had to admit it, I was the only one left and even if I would rather get stabbed than admit it out loud I wanted to help him. He is a good person and I knew how badly it hurts when you have nobody to confide in.

I nodded still thoughtful, "I'll go meet him at his training session after class." I said since he invited me anyways.

"Thank you Rose," she said and I could feel relief radiating from her.

Classes went pretty well. Eddie accepted me like I never left and he didn't try to question my absence because he knew only too well why I left. It was nice to be with him to do small talk, it was like before…sort of.

"So what are you going to do now?" Asked Eddie as we exited our last class of the day. Calculus, also known as torture 101 for me.

"Now as in the next few hours or now in the future since I came back?" I asked knowing that even if I was not going to give full details to Eddie, I could at least give him a very small and vague resume of where I went.

He seemed to seriously ponder my question." Well not that I don't want to know your plans for the future but I'd rather you talk to me on your own initiative." He said nicely. "I was more concerned about the next few hours."

I chuckled. "Well I wanted to go and see one of Fire boy training sessions." I said evasively.

"Oh yeah that's good! I went twice myself to show them some movements you know," he said smiling. "He is actually doing a pretty decent job I can even imagine him as a teacher," he added and I could hear in his voice that he was as surprised as I was. "Do you want me to walk you there?"

I nodded grateful. Even if Eddie changed after all the horror we faced he still had some of his carefree laugh and the faint glint in his eyes, that almost made me think we were going back in time…before Spokane.

We were maybe half way to the junior gym when Alberta met with us, she had a folded piece of paper in her hand.

"I was looking for you," she said to me after acknowledging Eddie's presence with a nod. "Are you doing something important?" She asked but her voice was saying _'I need to talk to you alone'_.

"Well Eddie was just walking me to one of Christian Ozera training sessions," I said resting my hand on Eddie's shoulder.

"Oh I can walk you there!" She said jumping on the opportunity. "I really need to have a word with you."

I nodded, "Thanks Eddie," I said patting his arms. "I'll see you back in the dorm," I said smiling to him hoping it looked genuine enough. I had the irrational fear that she would announce that Dimitri was on his way, it was stupid as she had no way to know that but I just couldn't help it.

"Yeah see you later," said Eddie squeezing my hand. "Guardian Petrov," he said with clear respect before walking away.

"He is going to be a good guardian." Alberta commented while watching him retreat.

"He knows what to expect outside….he saw it first hand." I said watching Eddie too. "It is a huge advantage but also a weakness," I simply added concentrating on Alberta again.

She looked at me startled but didn't comment. "I've got your training schedule for the next two weeks here," she said handling me the piece of paper as we were walking side by side.

"Thanks" I said putting it in my rear pocket. I really didn't care who I was training with really…it was not my Dimitri. "That's…That's what you wanted to tell me?" I asked honestly surprised as it could have been said in front of Eddie.

Alberta cleared her throat. "Well that and something else too." She added and she was getting more uncomfortable by the second.

I stopped to face her. "Uh huh." I said as an invitation to continue.

"Well since you have been reintegrated the Alchemists did a report of your time in Russia. At least what they know about your time there." She said nicely quickly glancing around to be sure we were not spied on since the alchemists were more or less a well kept secret.

"I see…" I said simply not really knowing how much they knew and what did they share with her.

"They told me about your kills and I needed to talk to you about getting your _Molnija_." She said slightly frowning when she saw the relief on my face.

"It's not necessary you know," I said sincerely. I really didn't expect to get any marks, hell I didn't even expect to make it back.

"Well yeah but still I think you deserve them however we can't give you a mark for every kill since some well… can't officially be attributed to you," Alberta said business like.

I nodded not really knowing what I should say anyways.

"So, based on their official report, 5 strigoi in St Petersburg and 2 near Baia are attributed to you." She said with clear admiration in the voice. "They added that semi-officially you probably took down around 15 strigoi. But you can only be marked for 7 and I'm sorry about that."

"I said it's no biggy, it's not the marks that make the quality of a guardian." I said simply. I would have 9 _Molnija_ and the big battle one before graduating, it was clearly enough to impress any guardians but deep down I never felt lesser of a guardian than I felt today.

"You have grown so much Rose," she said but it was not clear in her voice if it was a compliment or not, she seemed clearly saddened by that. "Ok I can arrange it for tomorrow after class then?" She asked before quickly looking at her watch.

"Yes that's fine by me." I said trying to show some interest. "Thank you." I added not really knowing what I felt thankful for.

"I'll see you later," she said padding my arm before rushing away I guessed she was scheduled for security.

I shook my head before entering the gym where Christian was talking to a little group of approximately 8 moroi.

"Well well well if it isn't the great Rose Hathaway!!" Christian said but he seemed genuinely pleased to see me there. "Did you came to share some of your moves with us?"

I heard some muffled _'wow' _and _'awesome'_.

I chuckled. "Well not today, I just came as an observer," I said pointing to the bench. "Maybe next time," I added winking to Christian and sitting down.

"Well fine you'll see how we can kick ass too," said Christian before concentrating on them again.

The lesson was pretty good actually and I had to recognize that Eddie was right, Christian was a very good teacher, pretty hard but clear and fair.

When he dismissed the group one of the young boys, I thought he was maybe 12 and one of the fire users like Christian turned around to face me.

"Excuse me can I ask you a question?" He asked directly to my attention. The others were looking at him in a awe. They were clearly thinking he was just so brave to talk to _badass Hathaway _( apparently it was the nickname they gave me behind my back).

"Of course you can!" I said trying to smile as warmly as I could, I didn't need to scare the kids.

"If you had only one piece of advice to give us what would it be?" He asked as the 8 students and even Christian looked at me eagerly.

I thought for a little while. So many pieces of advise were crossing my mind. "Well…" I ran my hands through my hair. "No matter how ready, how strong you think you are, never be over confident because that confidence, that pseudo strength could be your fatal weakness." I said trying to sound nonchalant but I could see that Christian understood only too well.

As soon as the students left I stood up and went to meet Christian.

"So buddy how are you doing?" I asked with a small smile.

He looked at me and I could see his eyes widen as if he understood something. "Ah I get it, she sent you to try to set things right. I told you I don't --"

I stopped him by bringing my hand on his mouth.

"Stop right there Christian that's not why I'm here," I said before taking my hand from his mouth.

"Oh?" He said simply.

"Well I'd like to think we're friends and even if I would never say it out loud in public I missed you." And it was true he was my favorite smartass. "You've been so good at playing ninja and hiding that I didn't get a chance to even talk to you."

He nodded slowly.

"How have _**you**_ been doing?" I asked resting a hand on his shoulder.

"Let's go to my room," he said picking up his bag from the floor.

We walked back to his room in silence and as soon as we walked in he gestured me to the armchair as he took off his jacket and sat on his bed.

"So how have you been?" I asked again.

Christian looked at me "I bet you know that already Rose." He smiled "Don't tell me you didn't slip in Lissa's head while you were away. I know you enough to be sure you couldn't abandon her."

'_Avery is not Rose' _I remembered him saying, How it warmed my heart to realize he was on my side.

I just smiled. "I guess trust is something that needs to be gained." I said to him. "And I'll prove that I trust you." And I really did, except for Dimitri, he was the only person I had ever trusted with my life. I started to relay to him everything that happened during the last 5 weeks only leaving the same details aside than I left out for Lissa.

Christian stared at me for a little while thoughtful and I could see no judgment in his eyes just understanding.

_How could he understand? _I thought a bit troubled, I couldn't even understand myself.

"It's terrible isn't it?" He asked nicely.

"What is?" I asked confused.

"To realize that strigoi or not you still love him? It's hard isn't it? You start to hate yourself for that. You know it's evil that stands before you and you hate yourself for not hating him completely…you think you are bad because you love that strigoi to some level." He said, his voice breaking.

"How can you…" I started to say. I wanted to say _how can you know that? _but I realized that he was the only one able to understand me.. His parents they were strigoi before being killed. "You still love them right?" I asked uncomfortable as even to Lissa he never openly mentioned his parents.

He nodded. "Yeah I still love them. I hate them for voluntary going strigoi and I hated myself for years because I couldn't stop loving them." He said in such a way I realized it was the first time he acknowledge that fact out loud.

I looked at him as my eyes filled up with tears. I was about to say something I didn't say anyone, not even to myself.

"I'm ashamed." I said barely louder than a whisper.

"Why?" Asked Christian anxiously coming to kneel in front of me. "There are no reasons for you to be ashamed. You are so brave and strong! Don't think you failed anything or anyone because you didn't."

"If he had given me the right answer I'm not sure I would be here today." I whispered looking down at his hands on my knees.

"What do you mean?" he asked so caringly that I was scared to crush the friendship we were creating, to see the disappointment in his eyes.

"When I was on the edge of the bridge ready to kill myself he…" I took a deep breathe as Christian squeezed my hands to encourage me. "He begged me not to do it. When I asked him why he didn't want me to die he said because he wanted me but… I can't help to think that I might have decided differently if he had said that he loved me…Maybe, maybe I would have joined him."

Christian then did something I wouldn't have expected in a million year, he hugged me tightly and I hugged him back. I knew that from now on we would be friends, very close friends. I was probably the only one who could understand that part of him and vice versa

"You shouldn't feel bad Rose… after 10 years I still long for my parents Strigoi or not," he said still in the hug.

After a while we parted a bit embarrassed.

I chuckled drying my tears. "You know I came to check on you and you comforted me."

"Believe me, you comforted me too." He said sitting back on the bed. "It's nice to know that someone can understand that part of you that you thought you had to keep hidden."

I looked up. "You know Lissa would never judge you right?" I tried.

He sighed. "Rose you promised," he said simply. "It was nice to have just some you and me time. You are my favorite annoying smartass."

"So you are fire boy.. So you are." I said sincerely. "And I know you …at least I think I do and I'm sorry but I'm just trying to understand here ok?" I tried raising my hands in surrender.

"What do you want me to explain?" He asked with a sigh of clear rendition.

"You know that Avery controlled Lissa's mind pretty much the whole time right?" I asked rhetorically.

Christian nodded, "yeah I do." He said calmly.

"And you know that she probably kissed Aaron under influence." I added resting my elbows on my knees.

"See that's the problem," he said still very calm. "The _'probably' _and _'pretty much' _clearly states that it was still a bit her. Things started to get messy even before Avery came into the picture, and she only managed to control Lissa after making her drink." He sighed, "I mean she let herself become influenced for whatever reason when she could have just confided in me." He said and I could see the deep hurt in his eyes.

I just looked at him not saying anything, what could I say when I knew he wasn't wrong.

"Don't get me wrong, I don't blame her for trying to be part of the royal game, if it's what she wants to do but you see I don't play their game, I never did." He said as he was just stating a fact, trying to keep his feeling in order.

I couldn't help but snort because it was also Christian's anti-social behavior that lead him to gain the _'strigoi-wannabe' _nickname. "Sorry," I said blushing.

"Nah don't be, I'm proud of who I am as you are proud of who you are Rose." He said sincerely. "And I've seen... I've seen that you and…Belikov were ready to sacrifice everything to be together, just to make the other one happy. You left everything behind to find him but you see," he bit his bottom lip thinking, "I'm not sure I could make all the compromises that need to be made for her." He said simply

"I… it's--" I started taken aback.

"I'm not saying that I don't love her more than I thought I could love, because it would be a lie," he said quickly. "But sometimes love is not enough and we're barely 18, who is to say we are made for each other?"

His last words wouldn't have hurt me more if he actually slapped me. It made me think of Abe and what he said to me, I could still hear him clearly in my head like as if he was beside me _'Oh Rose you are young. You've barely lived. Everyone thinks their first love is the only one they'll ever have.'_

"I just need some time to figure it out before it's too late and before we're only good to hurt each other. Before we make choices for the future that we can't take back. Can you understand that?" He asked and I could see he was actually yearning for my comprehension.

"Sadly I do" I said in a breath, I couldn't help to think that it was the forbidden love that I shared with Dimitri that made him fall and shattered my heart. "It's just….sad."

"I just need time to figure it out even if it will be hard, even for myself to realize that." He said and I saw the anguish in his eyes and it was now my turn to jump for my seat to hug him tight.

"Even if you decided not to get back together with Lissa, I need you to know that you'll always have a friend in me okay?" I said standing up. I needed to go, curfew was getting closer and closer.

"You too Rose. We have so much more in common than most people. Life….Life didn't spare us. "He said awkwardly, he was like me, pretty much disabled when feelings were concerned.

"Eat breakfast with us tomorrow.. Please." I asked with the full force of my sad puppy eyes. "Avoiding her won't help you decide you know."

He looked deep into my eyes before nodding. "You're right, I'll meet you there. Save me a seat," he said before kissing my cheek as I exited.

I was walking back to my room still stunned I never thought Christian and I could become so close but all the battles we fought side by side, Victor, Spokane, the campus, and now our shameful love for still 'living' or dead strigoi. We were friends for life now, I was sure of that.

I was about to enter my dorm when I heard Adrian's voice behind me.

"Oh I finally found you," he said with his usually laid back grin.

"Hello Adrian." I said actually happy to see him. I liked his company, he was always so carefree.

"Always stunning I see," he said giving me a quick hug.

"You too," I said. His black eye had totally faded and he was as gorgeous as ever.

"I wanted to give you that." He said handing be a black folder.

"What's this?" I asked curiously.

"The essay you asked for about why I'm dating material," he said seriously. "Just so you know I never worked as seriously or as hard on something in my whole life."

I looked at him mouth wide open probably looking like a complete idiot.

"I'll see you tomorrow." He said seeing the matron approaching. He quickly kissed my forehead before rushing back toward the guest pavilion.

I looked at the folder stupidly. I really hoped he gave up on me. For now I was still stuck, Dimitri was still half alive somewhere probably organizing my assassination but a promise was a promise. I could hear Abe in my head all over again, our little chat back in Baia.

'_I'm never going to be involved with anyone again. Not after Dimitri,' _I had said

'_Oh Rose you are young. You've barely lived. Everyone thinks their first love is the only one they'll ever have.' _He replied

I groaned. "Shut up old man," I whispered walking back to my room


	3. Chapter 3

**A.N:** Hey Guys!!

I don't have much to say except that I LOVE you all for reviewing!! It really motivates me to write faster and better. I really hope you are going to love this chapter. Check the poll (I want to know what you think =D) and play list on my profile.

And don't forget to _**review**_….please *pout* I'm begin shamelessly I know. =D And i did extra long too (longer chapter ever written so far =D)!!!

And of course a big thanks to Megan for taking the time to beta my work and for doing such an awesome job.

Disclaimer: I don`t own anything ( i wish i did own DImitri and Adrian but it`s life i guess *heavy sigh*)

**Chapter 3:**

I put the file on the night stand since it would probably be some pretty interesting bedtime reading, that I was sure of.

I put on my PJs and quickly sank into bed. I picked up the file chuckling as I saw the title. _Why should you date me _by Adrian _'Awesome' _Ivashkov.

He was humoring me, he wanted to make me laugh and that was something I desperately needed these days, maybe now more than ever.

It was all very clearly typed on a computer which was good, I knew I would have more success deciphering hieroglyphs than his messy handwriting.

Part One was called 'Facts' and divided in small paragraphs:

_- Not that you care but I'm a good catch, good name, and a terrible reputation just as you like. (Come on you know it's true.)_

_- You already know that even if you want to do something completely crazy, I will always follow you. I'll never judge you or let you down_ . _I know you think it's borderline stalkerish but I just think I'm being super cute. =D_

I sighed closing my eyes, it did strike a sensitive cord. It was so right, Adrian financed my crazy escape, he never gave up on me as much as I pushed him away, telling him to let go he kept coming back supporting me. I took a deep breath before continuing to read.

_- You also know that I'm not the kind to take things seriously, it's true but you… I've always been serious about you Rose and I know that you can't deny that. _

_- All in all to, I care a lot about you, I already know a lot about you, and there is nothing you could do or say that would make me care or respect you any less. _

Yeah right, I bet that my blood whore days would crush this respect if he ever found out.

_- And you know me, I think way better than anyone else. I let my guard down around you and you've already gotten a very good look at the real me._

That was a true fact. When we were together, or in my dreams, I could see his seriousness, his longing, his fear of losing me, I could see through his pretenses. I had seen his goodness, his bravery and protectiveness. He was playing the dandy shallow rich royal most of the time but I knew better and he knew that I did.

_- Plus when I'm near you I feel at peace, whole, like I find the place where I need to be and I long for it each time you're away. It has to mean something, right?_

- _Moreover I'm just asking for a chance, not a promise. _He simply added.

Part two was 'Future & Conditional'

_- If you decide to give me a chance I'll do my best to try to heal that part of you that I know you think is lost. I'll support you all the way whatever you decide to do or not do, as crazy as it sounds. _

_- I would never judge you or let you down and you know that I will never play with your emotions or your heart._

_- I also truly believe that with only a little amount of work we could create something worthy._

That was the scariest part, it could be good, very good but I could hurt him so badly…he could hurt me so badly.

I laughed out loud when I saw the little charts he made just below that.

There was a pie chart on which part of me he liked the most, (the biggest part which was 37 % was my brave, fierce & protective attitude.) The second chart was on how compatible we were as far as sarcasm, sensitivity, humor etc…. The third chart was on how awesome we could be together. The fourth, and last, was on what we could offer to each other. (Love, support, family, strength, healing, comprehension, fun etc…)

The third part: Practice.

_- Now I did expose you to the theory but I need to show you how perfect I would be for you Rose and the way is that you accept one date, just one date. It will be on campus and you'll be free to call it quits whenever you like, just one date no strings attached ok?_

_- I can make a better case in person Rose. Paper can't contain all the finer points of things._

Adrian was a good man and I owed him that much at least I had to try. I promised him. Apparently he knew what to expect, he knew that it was possible I would not go in to deep with him.

I sighed putting the file on the floor and turning off the light.

_It's just a date, just a small little date, _I said to myself deciding to agree with it.

As soon as I drifted into sleep I knew it was not my dream and based on the one I was having these days I was rather grateful.

"So... You couldn't wait for my answer?" I asked Adrian. We were in a breathtaking garden with a beautiful little pond where some swans were wandering.

Adrian chuckled and sat on the grass patting the spot beside him. "What do you want me to say little Dhampir, I can get a little impatient."

"So it seems," I said taking a good look at him. He was dressed so differently than his usual self. He was wearing a pair of faded blue jeans, a black tank top that was quite fitting, showing that he did have a washboard stomach and he was barefoot. He didn't need to be all dressed up to be gorgeous. I could even say that dressed as simply, with the sun playing in his dark brown hair, making his emerald eyes even greener in this magical surrounding, he was even more beautiful than I had ever seen him.

I took my shoes off and sat beside him in the deliciously warm grass.

"Where are we?" I asked curiously because this was no place I'd seen before.

"Do you like it?" He asked eagerly.

"I really do," I said looking around once more, seeing flowers of colors and shape I have never seen before. "It could honestly be heaven but I know it's not."

"Why is that?" He asked lying down.

"Because they would never accept me there," I said evasively.

He sat up and looked at me. "I couldn't disagree more." He said tenderly. He shook his head. "Anyways, I wanted to show you one of my favorite places on earth, one of my secret happy places," he added with a wink.

"And where are we?" I asked, this time I was the one laying down.

"My grandmothers' garden in the Bavarian Alps," he said laying beside me. So close that I could feel his body heat.

"That's beautiful.. You're very lucky." I said with eyes closed, letting the sun warm my face.

"I'll take you there one day," he said like it was a certitude. "You'll see there is no place like Bavaria, the St. Bartholomew church, the fortress Marienberg… you'll love it." He added with enthusiasm.

I didn't answer but it was painful because it reminded me so much of Dimitri's enthusiasm about Siberia.

"So little dhampir was the presentation good enough?" He asked in all seriousness. "Do you agree to the practice part?"

I stayed silent for a minute.

"You don't agree to anything by doing that you know," he said but I could hear the underlying hurt in his voice. "You can call it quits at any moment during the evening and go back to your dorm, no hard feelings." He added and I knew he was sincere.

"Ok Ivashkov, one date." I said not really knowing if I was making a mistake or not.

"Yeah?" He asked and he seemed incredibly surprised that I was giving in.

"Uh huh…" I said opening one eye, seeing him propped on one elbow looking down at me with what seemed pure joy on his face. "No strings attached right?" I added in order to stop him from hoping too much.

"Yep, not tomorrow but the evening after that. I'll come pick you up an hour after the end of your classes so be ready." He leaned down to kiss my forehead. "See you tomorrow Rose." He added before getting out of my head.

The day went by rather quick and went pretty well. The training with Alberta was quite interesting with the experience she collected during the years she was able to show me some effective moves.

Breakfast was a bit more awkward, but Christian did his best to talk even with Lissa. By the end of it things were still weird but I could see that with time they could probably get cordial… maybe even become friends.

I went sullenly to get my 7 molnija marks. I bet that Lionel, the tattooist guardian, never saw someone being so depressed to receive those badges of honor. I guess it was because he didn't know how unworthy I felt each time his needle touched my skin.

When he was done and applied the gauze on it I saw my mom waiting for me at the end of the room. She was propped against the door frame and she seemed completely lost in her thoughts once more.

I felt guilty to have brought her these souvenirs and hurting her in the process. My quest created so much unnecessary worry.

"Mom?" I said stopping in front of her.

"Hey! Sorry I just spaced for a minute," she said with an embarrassed laugh. "I was thinking, maybe if you don't have anything planned tonight, we can have some mother and daughter time."

"That would be good," I replied knowing I wouldn't be training with her before the week end. "I guess it's time to answer your questions." I added already surprised that she waited 5 days before starting to interrogate me. "Do you want to go back to my room?" I asked while we started to walk.

"Why don't you come to mine." She asked nicely probably not wanting to be disturbed by one of my fellow students and, or, friends.

I nodded.

"You know… I usually never go back on my word," I said to her just before reaching the guardian living quarters. "My word is all I have."

"I know that Rose." She said sincerely. She seemed pretty confused by what I assumed she considered as a random comment.

"Don't get me wrong it's nice to have you here but you didn't need to abandon your charge to keep an eye on me. I promised you I would graduate and that's exactly what I am going to do." I said stopping to face her.

"You…" she shook her head sadly. "You think that's why I stayed?"

"Well…" I shrugged slightly.

She sighed and opened her bedroom door." I was such a terrible parent," she said mainly to herself. "I decided to stay because... Because I never was so scared in my whole life." She confessed. "Running away, leaving Lissa behind was so not like you. I got scared, so scared, and I decided, I swore to myself if I could have you back safely I would try to spend as much time as possible with you."

I looked at her with shock, I had never seen her that defenseless, that _'human'_.

I did the only thing I wanted, that I needed, to do. I hugged her.

"I love you mom!" I said and I heard her sharp intake of air, she was probably surprised. I probably hadn't told her that since I was about 6 or 7.

"Oh Rose…I love you too." She said hugging me tighter.

We stayed silent for a little while and I said the first thing that crossed my mind to break the silence, which of course was utterly idiotic.

"I have a date with Adrian tomorrow." I blurted out wanting to slap myself. Then I realized it was better for her to know about it before hand so she wouldn't go full overprotective mom on me, it was not like it would be a first.

"Ivashkov?" She asked truly surprised but not mad…that was odd.

I nodded expecting her to explode any second.

She twisted her mouth slightly. "Yeah why not he isn't a bad guy," she said dismissively.

I narrowed my eyes slightly with suspicion that was just too weird I knew my mothers' opinion on Adrian and it was certainly not the _'not a bad guy' _type. "Since when he is not a bad guy?" I couldn't help but ask.

"I've seen how truly worried he was about you when you were away Rose, how he tried to support and help Lissa." she simply said, but there was something in her eyes, something I couldn't place. "I think that a date is not that bad, it can help you to move on." And that's when I understood everything and she realized she shouldn't have said '_move on' _

"You talked to Abe!" I said sitting on her bed. "He told you!" I added wanting to shoot him in the kneecaps as the mobster kid I was. He shouldn't have mentioned my feelings for Dimitri, that was private!!

"I did but not to spy on you or anything," she said quickly to reassure me. "I know you are honest enough to answer my questions, it's not like you care what people think of you," she added with a small smile playing on her lips. "I phoned him to thank him because…" She sighed and sat beside me on the bed. "You know when you went missing I called him for help but I thought he would just send messages to his many contacts, that people were looking for you I never imagined, not even in a million years, that he would be the one coming after you!! It was pretty dangerous for someone…someone like him to do that and I needed to tell him I appreciated it that's it." She patted my knee, "that's when he asked me how you were doing, if you started to deal with Dimitri's loss. That's when I finally understood everything."

We stayed quiet for a little while.

"You are not too disappointed?" I asked giving her a sidelong glance.

"Disappointed? No," she said shaking her head. "Well I was mainly surprised but I could see why you fell for each other." She gave me a small smile. "Sometimes you don't fall for the most suitable person," she said in such a tone that I knew she was not talking about me only. "I'm just sad for you really, I never wanted you to suffer and certainly not that young." She sighed unexpectedly kissing my forehead, "you already lived through so much, lost so much… I wanted you to keep that innocence just a bit longer."

I bit my bottom lip trying to contain my tears. "I guess you have questions about my trip." I said, because clearly I wouldn't tell her more than necessary, I didn't need to cause her more worry and pain.

"You know what? We'll do that some other time." She said wanting to spare me and it was the most considerate I've ever seen her. The fear to lose me really changed her and I realized how much I missed her all these years, how much I was yearning for my mother. "And considering Ivashkov I was wrong about him he really does care about you, he is one of the good Moroi." She shrugged." A date is just a date."

I smiled remembering her saying that Abe was a good man. "Can I ask you a question?" I asked uncomfortably.

"It's about Abe and I isn't it?" She asked simply and I couldn't see if it was a good idea to continue or not.

I nodded.

"What do you want to know?" She asked, taking my hand in hers.

"How did you meet?" I asked curiously.

"Ah…That's some story." She chuckled. "Well I graduated and got assigned to Clarissa Voda." She said staring at the wall and I knew she was now lost in her thoughts. "She had been accepted to Kings college in London but she was pretty intrigued by Muslim architecture so her parents decided she should spend the summer as a student at the University of Istanbul. That's when I crossed _Aşkım_'s path for the first time." She said with nostalgia.

"_Aşkım_?" I asked confused.

"Abe," she specified still completely lost in her memories.

"He was a student there?" I inquired in order for her to continue.

She chuckled. "Right! _Aşkım_ and authority never really worked well together!" She said with so much fondness that it actually made my chest tighten. I could see that a part of her still loved him…After all these years I just didn't know how important that part might be. "I was at the library keeping an eye on Clarissa when that big Moroi walked in like he owned the place! He was followed by two guardians looking all big staring at people with disdain behind dark sunglasses. I despised the man right on the spot."

We both chuckled at that. It was Abe alright! He was like that walking in the streets of Baia. "Was he already that…exuberant?" I asked curiously.

"If by exuberant you mean flashy scarves, golden jewelry, and earring so yeah he was." She shook her head but smiled brightly… brighter than I ever saw her smile before. "He even had long hair at the time you know, long, wicked, wavy, hair going down to his shoulders…just like yours," she added putting a string of my hair behind my ear.

"Oh wow…'' I said imagining my mother going after a man like him, it was almost unrealistic. "How old was he back then?"

"He was 23 and I was 18." She replied. "But I was intrigued you know, I was only a guardian for 3 weeks, I'd never been out of the Academy much. He was just so intriguing moreover when Clarissa saw him she hissed that trouble was on the way. I sat beside her, eager to hear it all and she told me all about the rich and powerful Mazur family that owned half of the businesses in Turkey." My moms' voice dropped slowly like she was revealing something in confidence. "And she started to talk about their son Ibrahim who was even more powerful than his parents as he was not reluctant to bend the line between what was legal and what was not."

"Total badass!!" I blurted out before cursing myself hoping she would continue.

She gave me an amused look before she continued. "When he noticed me, he just grinned and started to act all Mr. _'Bigshot-I-own-the-place' _with us. At the time I didn't have the control I have now." She stopped and squeezed my hand. "I was a lot like you Rose. Anyways, I put him back in his place showing him I was not impressed that I was as 'badass' as he was. Later on he told me that's exactly when he fell for me." She added and I could hear some longing in her voice even if she was doing one hell of a job to hide it.

"That's funny," I said, while looking at her. It was hard to acknowledge her as an actual person with feelings and weaknesses. I saw her as a guardian robot for so long, a machine without emotion.

My mom nodded. "We became friends. Like I said to you before, his business is irrelevant and none of your concern. He was a good man and I know he still his. He has a very big heart." She added and again it was possible to see that a part of her still loved him. "He didn't want me to leave at the end of the summer but I was not the kind to abandon my charge, it was not who I was." She said, the face closed off from emotion, maybe she regretted her choice now. "So I left and it broke my heart, I never thought I would see him ever again. Half-way through the first year of college Clarissa got a once in a lifetime offer to study at the University of Istanbul where she could even assist a very renowned professor. It was an offer she just couldn't refuse and as soon as we arrived at the airport there he was waiting for me," she added, seeming farther away now.

I opened my mouth to say something but she shushed me by continuing.

"Don't ask me how he pulled that one off because I honestly don't know and I never asked," she said with a playful smile. "I guess you noticed that the man was pretty impressive and could get anything he wants." She laughed when I nodded. "We dated for the next two years and then… then I got pregnant with you and things changed," she sighed and kissed the top of my head.

I looked at her and my eyes filled up with tears. "I'm so sorry!" I said crashing on her chest.

"What?! Why??" My mother asked sounding completely confused and wrapping her arms around me.

"Because of me you've lost each other." I said sobbing on her chest, I felt guilty for all the hard times I gave her over the years.

"No no Rose don't even think that," she said pushing me back to look into my eyes. "I swear my pregnancy didn't break us up. He wanted to assume you know. I told you he is a good man Rose, he never let me down."

"Really?" I asked blowing my nose in a very unlady like way.

"Really!" She said looking deep into my eyes to show me that she was sincere. "But that's when we started to talk about the future you see. I was 20 and he was 25 then, I was not ready to let go of my guardian duties it was who I felt I was. It was my identity and well, as much as I loved the person he was, his activities were…'' She seemed to think for a minute. "Anyways, his activities were his own business and he didn't want to let go. We thought that it was better to call it quit. That life was no place for a child Rose."

I remember what my mother had told me when I found out that Abe was my father. She said, _'We both thought it'd be best if he wasn't in your life.' _Abe also said something quite similar back in Baia. When I told him that he wasn't a role model he told me, _'it's exactly because of the life I lead that you should listen to me when I say abandon this path and go back home.'_

They wanted me to be raised well, far from his shabby business but as my mother said before, you couldn't help it when you're in love, you're in love.

"Do you think I'll see him again?" I asked my mother, since now part of me really wanted to know him. He had to have loved my mother deeply for taking those inconsiderate risks 18 years later for a daughter he didn't even know. He sacrificed his time with her to assure me a good future, freed from his somehow harmful influence and he was a benefactor of this school. I would bet that he was since I entered it as a student. As I said before, I could have had a worse father.

I laughed to myself he was such a hypocrite. Some first loves lasted! His actions and my mothers' face were proof of it and I intended to let him know that.

"I honestly don't know Rose. Abe is the kind of man to do exactly what he wants to, but I wouldn't rule it out." She said with a playful smile.

"I kinda like him you know," I said standing up.

"I see a lot of him in you and before you go all offended it's a compliment," she replied and stood as well. "Well let's go to the kitchen and grab something to eat."

We were the only one in the kitchen and that was good.

"So a date with Adrian tomorrow night?" Said my mother with a fork in her hand and I appreciate how she used his first name.

"Yeah…I owe him one." I rolled my eyes, "long story. But he is a good man it's just…" I shook my head, "never mind." I said concentrating on my pasta.

"No tell me," she said with concern. "I want to help."

"Do you think I will get better?" I asked as she was really the only one here that I trusted who could actually have the beginnings of an answer. "This aching in my chest…Do you think I'll get over it? Over him?"

"You will get better Rose," she said her eyes and voice full of sorrow and pain "You have to let time do its job and open the door to the people who are trying to help you, any kind of healing is good to take. As for getting over it…'' She grimaced slightly. "You'll never get over it, not completely anyways but one day in a year, five years, or maybe even ten years. The memories won't hurt so much anymore and you'll even smile, it won't be a burden to remember."

"Thank you Ma," I said as it was exactly the kind of honesty I needed.

"Anytime Rose." She said reaching for my hand from across the table.

My mom walked me back to the dorms since it was after curfew. Not like it mattered. Apparently I was a bit above the rules here…I was _Badass Hathaway _after all.

"Will you tell me why you left to go to Baia?" My mother finally asked. "Maybe not today but one day," she added probably not wanting to add to my distress.

I smiled at her, "I will tell you very soon. I just need to tell that to someone else first but then I'll tell you everything I promise."

She nodded and kissed my forehead. "Have a good night Rose."

"You too Mum." I said before running to my room.

I reached for my brand new cell phone I bought the day before and looked for Sydney's letter. It was 6 am here so it meant that it was 4 pm in St Petersburg.

"Hello?" She said warily.

"Sydney? It's your favorite evil creature," I said chuckling.

"Rose!! How are you doing?!" She asked sounding genuinely pleased.

"I'm alright I wanted to give you my number you know for when you come back home. If you want we can go hunt strigoi together."

"Right!" She snorted taking my number. "Anyways I know you need something come on tell me." She asked laughing.

"Nice you know me that well already." I said teasing.

"Unfortunately," she said teasing back. It was silly to even think that she was scared of me at first.

"I wanted Zmey's number but I know you don't have it," I said decided to play it honestly. "I need you to get him a message. Give him my phone number and tell him that Rose Hathaway has the answer to his question." ( He kept asking me over and over again, _'why are you here?'_ he'll finally get his answer.)

"Oooo that's tough Rose," Sydney responded, apparently uncomfortable. "The guy hates to be bothered."

"Believe me Sydney he would get mad if he didn't get my message." I said hoping I was right.

She sighed. "All right I'll tell that to my superiors but I can't promise anything."

"Thank you!" I said sincerely. "So…..Do you miss me??" I asked teasing her again.

"Actually I do…a little. See I'm so alone that I'm missing an evil creature of the night."

"Love you too Sydney." I said laughing. "Talk to you soon."

Well now I needed to figure out a plan for Victor and wait for Zmey senior to phone me but before I had to be ready for my date for Adrian.


	4. Chapter 4

**A.N: **Hey guys!!!

Here comes the date, I hope it will meet your expectation. As for the poll on my profile I give you a little heads up 59% are team Dimitri, 27% are Team Adrian and 14% are team 'either I can't choose'. As for me, well I'm confused to be honest at the end of Shadow Kiss I was 110% team Dimitri ( still very fond of my Adrian though) but now well…I don`t know, Dimitri still 'own' my heart but Richelle did such a fantastic job to make Adrian the knight now you know. And well i tell you right now my beta Megan is totally Team Adrian =D

Anyways I'll stop my rambling, you can just check the BP/SB playlist if you want, i updated it.

I hope you enjoy and don't forget _**to review **_please =D

**Chapter 4:**

I was getting ready for my date and as silly as it sounded, I felt slightly nervous about it. It was Adrian, my favorite stalker but still it seemed more serious somehow.

I hoped that the day would end way better than it started because today sucked ass. First the training with Stan turned pretty messy since it seemed we were both trying to take revenge on something. Then Christian snapped at Eddie when he tried to mettle in his relationship with Lissa. So, I had to be the pacifier, a role I never liked nor excelled in. Abe didn't call me AND I tried to find out which prison Victor Dashkov was in and I found nothing!! It was like the location was protected by freaking Homeland Security...What was it, Area 51??

Part of me was scared that Abe didn't actually want a relationship with me. Maybe he helped me only because he felt that he owed something to my mother, in memory of the past. I half expected her to come knock on my door anytime telling me that Abe phoned her and that I should stop trying to contact him. I knew it sounded juvenile and irrational but it would really crush me to be rejected by him.

All in All, it was a shitty day and nothing went my way, I just hoped it would be better tonight.

I didn't know how to dress either because being too dressed up would probably give him the wrong idea and too casual could be insulting.

I was relieved that Lissa kept all my belongings after I left the Academy. All I came back with were the clothes I had on my back and some of Dimitri's jewelry (which I needed to sell very soon, hopefully, it could help me with my Victor plan).

I finally settled for a pair of low waist black jeans and a silky red tank top with thick straps. It was pretty sober, but nice and not too revealing. Lissa even lent me a black cashmere shawl to go with it. I left my hair down and settled for some lip gloss, That was it, simple yet still sort of classy.

I was just finishing getting ready when I heard a light knock on the door. I couldn't help but smile! I was pretty sure it wasn't my mother because it didn't have that military feel like her knocks tended to have.

I opened the door to a smiling Adrian but it was not the kind of smile I was used to, I really couldn't put a name on it but it seemed to run deeper. I didn't know if you could call a bright smile 'serious' but it was exactly the case here.

"Rose you look stunning!" He said, bowing slightly before handing me a big bunch of flowers. They were daisies with a single red rose in the middle.

It was such a simple yet gorgeous bouquet that it surprised me. I'd always seen Adrian as being a very picky, luxurious man and these flowers were different, more like me.

"Thank you," I said feeling sincerely pleased and taking the flowers, "you are very good looking yourself!" I said quickly assessing him. He was probably the only man I could call the _'classy-casual'_ type. It meant that whatever he was wearing he always had this classy edge and this royal vibe. Even in my dreams when he was barefoot, the old pair of faded blue jeans, and black tank top, he looked far more impressive and royal than most the guys I knew when they were in tuxedos.

Right now he was wearing a pair of black dress pants, an emerald green button up shirt, and black jacket.

I let the door open and invited him in while I tried to figure out where to put the flowers.

"So what made you decide to get me daisies?" I asked curiously reaching for the big long box of smarties I had.

"Well…Two reasons really," he said softly leaning against the wall looking at me moving around. "Firstly, those flowers are simple there is no big fuss about them but it makes them even more beautiful… even more stunning because they don't need to be extravagant to be noticed, just like you." He said barely louder than a whisper.

I had been emptying the box when he said that and it almost slipped out of my hand. It was not something I expected. I swirled around looking deep into his eyes trying to spot any kind of joke or teasing but there was none. It was probably one of the most beautiful compliments anyone ever gave me.

"Thank you," I said with a small smile before rushing to the small sink to fill the plastic box with water. It was probably the crappiest, ugliest vase in the history of the world but it would have to do.

"Note for next time, I'll bring a vase too," he said chuckling as I put the flowers on the desk.

"Yeah sorry," I said grimacing. "I'm not used to getting flowers…except from you," I added joking.

"And that's just a shame," he said and I could hear the clear disapproval in his voice.

I shrugged dismissively reaching for the shawl. "You said the first reason but what is the second one?" I asked, changing subject walking out of the room.

He followed me out walking by my side. The air was still a bit cold for end of May but the shawl made it very agreeable.

"Well the second reason is the meaning of course." He said giving me an amused sidelong glance. "The flowers needed to convey the right sentiments."

"Which are?" I asked but I wasn't really sure I wanted the answer.

"Well that will be your job to figure out my little dhampir," he said teasing. "A little bit of work won't hurt you."

"That has not been proven." I said with a slight pout making him laugh.

We were near the administration building when Adrian stopped me putting his hand on my shoulder.

I frowned and looked up at him.

He smiled, "Do you trust me Rose?" He asked mysteriously.

"I…guess," I said warily. It was true that Adrian was one of the people I trusted the most but he was so exuberant sometimes, so crazily original. I was scared we would end up on the Mexican border completely drunk with tequila…maybe not such a bad plan based on my shitty day…shitty weeks really.

"Please don't spoil the surprise," he said taking what looked like a black tie from his jacket pocket.

"What do you want to do with that?" I asked pointing to the tie. "Strangle me? I don't think you'll be strong enough." I said half joking trying to hide my discomfort.

"I could never hurt you Rose." He said so seriously, more seriously than I ever heard him before. "I just want the surprise to be total, let me blindfold you."

I felt my heart tighten in my chest. Someone else also made that same promise to me in what seemed to be another lifetime and nobody ever hurt me more than that person.

I nodded slightly giving him permission to actually take away the sense on which I related the most.

"I would never let you fall, I'll never let you down Rose," he said fondly after knotting the tie.

"I know…'' I said not really sure if I liked the idea on how much I trusted that half crazy Moroi.

Adrian wrapped an arm around my shoulders as I wrapped mine around his waist mainly to help my steadiness. Although, I could feel his muscles tightening slightly under my touch and I had to admit shamefully and selfishly that it felt good to have this effect on someone. It was exactly the way I used to react each time Dimitri touched me.

We walked like that for about 10 minutes. I registered that we entered and exited the building again based on the gentle wind caressing my skin.

"Are we there yet?" I asked in an annoyingly childish voice.

"Yes we are," he whispered so close that I could feel his warm breath on my face.

I could feel him standing behind me and he softly removed the tie from my eyes. What I saw took my breathe away.

"I--Oh my." I said with wide eyes. This was a part of the campus I had actually never seen before. I could see the glass patio where I had the hot chocolate with Dimitri pretty far on my left side. I assumed we were behind the guardian administrative building, but who would have thought that that rear end was so beautiful?

"Do you like it?" He asked expectant still standing behind me resting his hands on my shoulders.

I looked around still in awe. There was a small pond, much smaller than the other one on the other side, but with the trees and flowers, the full moon reflecting in the water like a sliver lining it was simply magical. There was also a beautiful white kiosk on the bank. The kiosk was illuminated with strands of fairy lights and there was a table set for a candle lit dinner…I called Adrian extravagant, I never thought he could be a romantic.

"It's beautiful," I said sincerely and I felt his hands relax on my shoulders.

"Come on," he said standing by my side and taking my hands to intertwine our fingers.

I looked down at our hands with surprise and as silly as it was, I felt like I was cheating on Dimitri, somehow betraying his memory…Our love.

"You want me to let go?" Asked Adrian and I could hear the underlying pain in his voice.

I looked up and met his eyes, "No…it's nice." I said with a small smile not wanting to hurt him. I wanted him to be happy, he was a good man, he deserved to be happy.

He flashed his million dollar smile and gently pulled me with him to the kiosk.

_God help me not to break his heart. _I thought as he pulled my chair out to gallantly help me sit.

Once we sat at the table a young man I had never met before came from the glass patio with a big platter setting a plate in front of each of us.

"Spaghetti and Meatballs?" I asked truly surprised. I expected some persnickety food like caviar (ewww), Foie Gras, lobster, but certainly not some basic Italian food like spaghetti and meatballs.

"Yeah," he said with a small smile while serving us some San Pellegrino sparkling water, he really went to the details. "Don't you like Italian?" He asked but I could see that he already had the answer to that.

"Of course I do!!" I said looking at the plate with the scent of the wonderful oregano sauce filling up my nostrils almost making me drool. "But…But how did you know??"

"That my little dhampir…It's a gift," he said tapping his temple gently.

"Of course," I said rolling my eyes but it gave me a chill. I knew he couldn't do it but Oksana and crazy Avery could. Adrian would probably be able to do it one day and that was scary because there were certain things in my head I'd rather die than let him see. I could only see good things in his eyes when he was looking at me, seeing the repulsion would kill me.

"Nah," He chuckled "I heard you talk to Lissa once about how when you were starving while held hostage in Spokane, it was the memory of the meatballs pasta from some little restaurant in Portland so…" he pointed to my plate. "Here we go," he added with a wink.

"You remember that?" I asked startled.

"Of course!" He said like it was an evidence. "I remember everything you said."

"I--" I shook my head I couldn't believe how caring he was, it was actually getting harder and harder to play detached because now if I ended up hurting him it would hurt me deeply too. I simply nodded concentrating on the food. "Let's eat before it gets cold," I added pointing to my plate.

Adrian nodded apparently seeing my discomfort.

We ate mostly in silence when the dessert came, I almost squealed. It was tiramisu and I loved tiramisu!

He was just so sweet with me but I couldn't help to think that Dimitri was still around and what if I could save him? What would happen to Adrian then?

I didn't even notice that I sighed out loud.

"What is bothering you Rose? There is so much sadness in your eyes…" He reached for my hand from across the table. "If it makes you sad to be here with me …" he took a deep breath. "I don't want you to be sad, not because of me." He stood up, "let me walk you back to your room, we can't say we didn't try."

I looked at him agape. "What?!" I asked stupidly staying on my chair. "You think I'm sad to be with you?" I shook my head.

He shrugged slightly but sat back down.

"No it's…" I thought for a minute I didn't want them to know that Dimitri was still running around, at least not yet. I needed to put my plan in action and see if it was possible to do anything. Part of me knew that if they found out about Dimitri they would think I was crazy to do all that just for him….and maybe I was.

"It's what?" He encouraged me.

"Well you are a very good guy, you're kind and caring and good looking," I said grimacing.

"And it's bad how?" He asked chuckling but I could see the real wonder in his eyes.

"I don't want to hurt you, I just don't know if I can...if I ever could offer you what you deserve and…you deserve so much more than a _'maybe one day',_" I said honestly. "I haven't moved on, and I'm not ready to. I would go crazy thinking I'm leading you on," I added, my voice shaking.

He nodded. "Ok," he said simply. "But I never thought that one date would be the beginning of a relationship Rose. Knowing how passionate you are, how you put your heart in everything you do, it would have been insulting to even think you could move on like that." He reached for my hand again. "You didn't promise to marry me Rose, you didn't sign a contract with your blood," he added chuckling. "Consider me warned ok? I know what I'm entering and what if we just took things slowly…friends?"

"Friends?" I asked raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah special friends, spending time together, enjoying each others company no strings attached. And if it has to happen than it will and if it doesn't well…That's life. " He said with his goofy grin.

I chuckled too. "I just don't want you to get hurt."

"Let me worry about that ok?" He asked standing up opening his hand. "Dance with me little dhampir."

I took his hand and stood up. "But…there is no music." I said surprised.

He winked at me and reached for a little remote that was in his other pocket. He pressed a button and I finally noticed the little radio discreetly hidden beside my his chair.

Nick Lachey's voice filled the air and for once I did recognize the song, it was '_Run to me'_.

_Very fitting _I thought as he wrapped his left arm around my waist, holding me tight against him, so tight I could smell the woody, mossy odor of his pricy aftershave. I would recognize this sublime aroma everywhere it was _Xs for Men _by Paco Rabanne.

We danced for a little while and I had to admit it did feel nice. Adrian was a very good dancer and being in his arms was pleasant, knowing that someone cared about me that way.

"May I hold your hand walking you back to your quarters?" He asked with so much courtesy it made me laugh, so 18th century. "As friends of course."

"Of course…" I said and I couldn't help but blush slightly as his fingers intertwined with mine.

We walked back in silence actually enjoying each others presence, it was not awkward and I liked that.

"Well thank you again. I really enjoyed myself it was one of the best evenings I have had in a very long time." I said sincerely.

"Me too Rose, I really enjoyed every minute of it," he said nicely.

As he leaned down to hug me I stood on my toes and kissed his cheek.

He jerked up eyes wide with surprise and touched the spot with his fingertips as if my kiss burned him.

He seemed completely dazed.

"Sleep well," I said with a small smile walking into my room, leaving him in the corridor.

As soon as walked in my cell phone started to ring I hurried and answered without even checking the number.

"Hello?" I said warily because the amount of people having my number was pretty limited and it was very late in our world and still very early in the human world.

"Finally reaching you little girl," said Abe with some laughter in his voice. "I was about to give up. Why out so late?"

"Zmey!!" I shouted too pleased to have him on the phone. He didn't give up on me after all. "It's Friday night I was out with friends. I can sleep in the morning." I said sitting on my bed.

"So I heard you were eager to talk to me," he said seriously. "You apparently have the answer to my question and I like to have my curiosity satisfied so Rose…Why were you in Baia?"

I took a deep breathe before answering. "I once talked with Dimitri about if we were to be turned Strigoi one day and we both agreed that we rather be dead than to be changed. I…" I cleared my throat. "We agreed we would do that for each other, I had to keep my promise."

"Did you succeed?" He asked and I could hear no judgment in his voice.

"I thought I did." I said without even thinking.

"You '_thought_'?" he asked confused.

"It's a long story," I said cursing myself. "I also wanted to thank you. Thank you so much," I said and I didn't realize how much emotion I had in my voice.

"What for?" He asked sounding taken aback.

"For trying to keep me safe, for helping me when I didn't realize I needed it, for not giving too much away to my mother and for trying to get the information you know I'm longing for." I bit my bottom lip. "So thank you."

"You…you're welcome," he said and I'll be damned but there was emotion in his voice.

"Oh just one more thing," I said jumping up. When he didn't say anything I took it as an invitation to continue. "I think you were wrong."

"Wrong? Me?!" He asked chuckling. "That would be a first so please little girl tell me where I was wrong."

"Well old man I think you were wrong considering first love. I know for a fact that sometimes it does last for a lifetime!" I said with a sure voice. "I could see it in someone's face recently that even after 20 years it was still there, the lovestruck smile or even someone taking inconsiderate risks for someone he loved in another lifetime." I smiled and I was sure he could hear it in my voice. "So some first loves do last."

Abe was quiet, quiet for so long that I thought he hung up on me.

"Abe? Are you still with me?" I asked frowning.

"If I remember correctly I never said that your first love wouldn't last forever or that it wouldn't be the strongest love you'll ever have experienced." He said the voice lower than usual probably under the emotions. "I just said that you would love again…eventually even if a part of you will always belong to someone else."

"I see…" I said and I understood what he just said, a part of him still loved my mother and probably always would. "Can I ask you a question?" I tried.

"You can…I'm not saying I'll answer though," he said matter of factly.

"You know where Victor is in jail right?" I asked trying to do my best to sound neutral.

"I…Do," he said warily. "Why?"

"Can you tell me where please?" I asked really trying to hide my eagerness.

"There is no point in me telling you Rose." He said, his voice colder now. "He wouldn't give me any information and I offered him a lot of things. What could you possibly offer that I couldn't?"

I just wanted to talk to him, maybe just beg him I was pretty sure he would enjoy that, having the power over me was worth something. "I can't offer more but… tell me please." I said and I couldn't help but to sound like a begger because it was exactly what I was doing, begging.

"I'm sorry Rose but no I won't tell you and," he sounded even colder. "Now you should just forget about these bedtime stories and grow up. Not every story has its happy ending. Concentrate on the tangible, on what is good in your life."

"I…" I started. I was about to tell him to '_fuck off ' _but I did see the real concern and worry in his eyes back in Novosibirsk. I knew it was only worry talking.

"Don't be like Don Quichotte Rose, fighting some imaginary battle. It will not end well. And I won't help you on this path." He sighed. "Go to bed it's time."

"Don't talk to me like I'm a child old man! I know what I'm doing!" I said briskly because I hated to be talked down to, rightfully or not. "I just wanted to thank you so thanks…and have a nice life," I added before hanging up and turning the phone off.

With his help or not I was going to find out where Victor was incarcerated. It would just be longer than what I expected. Damn Zmey senior!!


	5. Chapter 5

**A.N:** Hey Guys!! Another extra long chapter just for you! =D

Firstly let me thanks the one who reviewed it's very sweet of you guys. You know how much I love reading you right?

I just wanted to clarify something about the date though. Adrian went to pick Rose up one hour after the classes ( as said in chapter 3) so it is still night time and he brought her to an area of the campus that is 'forbidden' to students so that's why their date was not interrupted by other students.

Oh and check out the story called _**Imaginary**_ written by my good friend Mmsimpy09 it's full of potential =D

By the way, please try to respect and not to be that harsh on my beta, Megan, work on this story. She is working very hard on it and spending a lot more time trying to make it perfect for us. You just have to understand that she is not a professional Beta and that most books are usually Beta'ed' twice ( by professionals) before hitting the shelves and it's still possible to spot mistakes here and there so please try not to pick on every little things that is missed as it hurt her feelings (and mine for her). I personally think she is doing an awesome job and i'm very grateful she is putting so much time and effort into it. So, thank you Meg!!

One last tiny thing I did a promo for Spirit Bound on youtube if you want to check it out ( the link is on my page)

For the poll the results so far are : 61% Team Dimitri, 27% Team Adrian and 12% either.

Now I shut it and don't forget to review!!! =D

**Chapter 5:**

Today did start a lot better than yesterday. Firstly, it was Saturday so it meant no classes and no sidelong glances from my fellow students. Fellow students that were even getting out of my way whenever I walked through the corridors. Even the Moroi, royal or not, were showing me respect when I walked by them and this included Jesse and Ralph, I still couldn't comprehend that!

I had some plans with Eddie and Lissa this afternoon. Still, I haven't given up on the idea of getting Christian to join us, I'd go to his room and drag his hardheaded ass if I had to.

I was just getting out of training with my mother and I couldn't help but smile. She was still the tough guardian, she would still look cold and detached to an outsider but to me she was totally different now. She was my mother and I knew at this point that with everything that had happened between us, all the mistakes that had been made, could be repaired.

She asked me about my date trying to sound as detached as she could. I could see the curiosity and hope in her eyes. Bless her heart, she was just hoping that I would heal fast enough. Even if it was getting better and better between us, it still felt extremely awkward to talk about my love life, or rather my lack of one, with her. So I stayed pretty evasive with a '_we're taking things slow' _and a _'we're friends for now, we'll just see where it leads'_

_Friends it's good, slow, it's very good. S_he said approvingly and taking an offensive stance and we did what we both did best…Fight.

When we were done my mother went it the direction of the guardians building because she was scheduled for a morning shift. I went towards the Moroi dorm to spend a bit of alone time with Lissa but I could feel that she wasn't there. Also, I could feel a wave of uneasiness, pain, guilt, and sorrow coming from her and it could mean only one thing...she was with Christian.

I bit my bottom lip and decided to sit under the oak tree near her dorm just to slip in her mind for a few minutes. Those two needed help and I needed to know the material I was working with. Well actually, I was just super curious and dying to know but the first excuse seemed far more commendable.

Lissa was standing near the door of the chapel attic, their old love nest . Christian, who was sitting in a corner, stood up looking pained.

"Don't be silly… you don't have to go because I'm here," he said softly brushing some dust from his pants. "You have as much of a right to be here as I do." He added as she took two slow steps in.

Lissa nodded thinking about how much she missed him. What she wouldn't give for him to hold her tightly in his arms again while whispering in her ear how much he loved her, whispering about how everything would be ok.

It hurt me to feel that with her because I felt just the same, except that in my case the chances to get my prince back were close to absolutely zero.

Abe did tell me that not every fairy tale gets its happy ending and of course I knew that. My fairy tale turned into a nightmare in just seconds. The prince had been cursed, the princess was now dancing with the fine line between sanity and despair not really knowing how strong she really is. How far could we go before we break? That is the question she kept asking herself. What if the spell could be broken? What if the prince could return home and save the princess from her own bleeding heart? What if this infinitesimal chance was in the hands of the bad wizard, the one that swore to take revenge? Any normal 'princess' would give up this hope before it got her killed but not me, I was the masochistic, self-destructive, idiotic type, I would hold on to that hope till the end thinking _'Come what may!'_

I concentrated on Lissa and Christian again.

"Will it always be like that?" Asked Lissa not able to hide the longing and pain in her voice any longer.

I saw the pure anguish in Christian's eyes but I didn't think Lissa registered it. Christian and I apparently owned the corner of the _'self-sacrificing' _shit.

"Will what?" He asked now being the one standing by the door and I understood when he told her to stay, it meant that he would be the one leaving…

_Idiot! _I thought_. At least talk to her geez!!_

"You and me?" She asked pointing to both of them trying her best to keep her feelings in order because she was a mere step away from breaking down. "Avoiding each other."

"I…" Christian sighed and ran a shaky hand through his hair. "Please Lissa give…just give me some time to figure it out."

"That's what Rose said." Lissa muttered, not able to help but feel a bit jealous that Christian confided in me. Almost immediately, she chastised herself because she preferred he did confide in me rather than in anyone else.

Surprise crossed Christian's face, he was probably as shocked as I was myself when I defended him.

"I'll see you later," he said with a small smile as he turned to leave.

"I just miss you so much," Lissa whispered. She didn't want to say it but she decided that her relationship with Christian was just more important than her pride.

Christian froze with one hand on the door frame. Slowly, he turned around to face her. He looked thoughtful.

"I miss you too Lissa." He finally said.

"So why aren't we together?" She asked him, she was human enough to do it. "I love you, you know that right."

"I love you too and you know that. Love is not the problem." He admitted and sat down in front of her.

Lissa was so happy he decided to stay and she considered that as a small victory. To some extent it was one.

"So what is the problem?" She asked almost plaintively. "Whatever it is I'm sure we can work on it. As long as there is love, the rest will follow."

"Sometime love just isn't enough," said Christian, the exact same moment than I said it to myself. It was a little eerie!

"Would you mind developing?" Lissa asked and now I could even feel anger in her.

_Chill out Liss…Just breathe, _I thought in a useless attempt to calm her down.

"Love has never been our problem, the problem is what we are and what we want to become." He replied. "It has nothing to do with Aaron or even Avery because lets face it, you wanted me to come with you when you went to the Court. You would have never kissed that guy and…" He shrugged slightly. "I was just getting tired playing the Court and royal game."

Lissa seemed to get more and more desperate by the second. She realized it was not only anger or her silly behaviors during my absence that made him break up with her. It ran deeper, it was something he really thought about but she did her best to keep her face blank for him to continue.

"I understand your desire to live up to the name of your parents. I mean you are the last Dragomir and it's a terrible burden to carry and I'm genuinely sorry for you." He said softly and you could read the sincerity in his face. "And I know you'll end up as our ruler one day," he said with pride, "and you'll be the best ruler the Moroi world will ever have but… I'm not sure I'm ready to play the game or I don't know how long it will be before I can't do it anymore and it's not fair to any of us."

"But I don't need to play the game, I mean…we don't have to." She said but part of her deep down knew that she was lying to herself. She wanted to do honor to her name and it ran deep in her blood.

"Yes you have to Lissa, it's who you are and it's part of the girl I love. If you sacrificed that part of you, you'd end up resenting me." He smiled. "We both need to consider the future seriously before it's too late and that irreparable mistakes are made. So lets just take a step back on everything and think for a while."

Lissa nodded, it all sounded scarily reasonable and she hated the idea to lose the man she loved because it was the reasonable thing to do, she also couldn't deny that. "I understand," she said with a sigh.

Christian smiled.

"Why are you smiling?" Asked Lissa curiously, unable to stop her own smile.

What Christian said startled me. "It's Rose," he said chuckling at my name. "She told me to talk to you , that you were smart and that you would understand. She said avoiding you was just making the situation unnecessarily uncomfortable." He shook his head, "she was so right."

Lissa actually laughed. "Yea? Well she told me to grant you the space you asked for, that you just needed time to think and that it wasn't too much to ask." She smiled and I could feel all her love for me, so much love that it actually hurt me to think how I let her down.

"We've go one hell of badass guardian angel don't we?" Christian asked with a grin.

"Yep… She is the best." Lissa said fondly.

"I agree but if you ever rat me out I'll deny it with my life." He replied teasingly.

"God forbid I ever do that!!" She said teasing him back.

At this exact moment I could see it was still there the connivance, the friendship, and the love. I probably wouldn't have my fairy tale ending but I could help them have theirs, if only they saw what I could see.

"You know together or not we could at least try to be friends…" Lissa shrugged. "We could at least give it a try."

"I agree." He said seriously before smiling. "It would be better for the kid."

"Yeah poor Rose," Lissa added with exaggerated contrition. "She could almost denounce us for child abuse."

They both started to laugh and I exited her head with a smile on my face. My smile faded as soon as I opened my eyes and saw someone sitting in front of me with a wide grin on his face.

"Well well well my little Dhampir," said Adrian teasingly while folding one of his long legs up and resting his chin on his knee. "If I didn't know you better I'd say you were spying on your best friend."

I blushed slightly. "Says the guy who dream stalks people and I was just checking on her to see if she was alright."

"Uh huh right," said Adrian chuckling. "I've been sitting here for the last 10 minutes so…" He winked, "either you are super slow to assess a situation, which I know is not the case, or you were spying." He shook his head. "And I don't dream stalk everybody. I just do it to you and I never denied it."

_Okay one for Ivashkov, _I thought and decided to drop the subject. "Anyways….how are you doing today?" I asked standing up. I did do some quick research last night on the meaning of the daisies. It said they mean loyal love, fidelity, beauty, share your feelings, patience, and simplicity. I decided to purposely forget about that, at least for the time being.

"Good now that I'm with you," he said goofily. I reached down with my hand to help him up.

"Uh huh!" I said rolling my eyes. "Anyways, I wanted to ask you something since you seem to know everything." I said only half joking because even if the secret of the alchemist was very well kept he knew about it.

"Well yeah I do know about everything and if your question is _'can we have some angry sex on the roof of the building?_'" He replied and pointed up, "my answer will be _'of course!'_"

"OK…good to know," I said laughing. "No my question is more serious actually."

"Business…always business with you Rose." He said bringing his hand to his chest. "You are breaking my heart."

"Sure I am," I mumbled sarcastically.

"Sometime it's true," he said all teasing gone. He shook his head. "Anyways what do you want to know?"

I looked up meeting his eyes. "Do you know where Victor Dashkov is incarcerated?"

"Oh!" Said Adrian eyebrows arched with surprise. "That was honestly not something I saw coming," he said apparently dazed.

He walked to the little wooden bench near the path and sat down.

I joined him but just stood in front of him.

"So do you know?" I questioned.

He frowned slightly. "I honestly never thought you would be the one to be concerned about that Rose. I thought all that mattered to you was that he was locked away for life possibly in the shabbiest, crappiest, dirtiest jail in the world."

I shrugged cocking my head to the side. "I'm just curious," I said trying to sound as disinterested as I could. "I haven't heard anything about him since the trial."

"You are not just curious Rose I know you by now," he had a smile playing on his lips. "You usually have ulterior motives for--"

"Do you know or not?" I asked cutting him off, my patience was wearing thin. Almost immediately, I felt bad for snapping at him when I saw shock, sadness, and anger cross his face.

"No I don't know." He said coldly standing up with his jaw locked. "And I don't care."

"I'm sorry," I said in a breathe. "I didn't mean it."

I saw his features soften by the second. He sighed. "It's alright Rose," he said resting his hand on my shoulder. "I can try to find out if you want me to but I can't promise anything, he is the biggest royal treat you know, the biggest traitor." He grimaced. "I'm not sure a lot of people even have the answer."

I looked up at him and emotion washed over me. He really did mean what he said, he would help me whatever the reason was, even if it sounded crazy or unusual. "Thank you," I replied and hugged him tightly burying my face in his chest.

"Wow if I knew that trying to answer your question would lead to that kind of reaction. I would try more often," he said teasingly and wrapped his arms around me, holding me even tighter against him.

"Yeah…" I said getting out of his grip, cursing myself for reacting so impulsively. "Listen we're all going to hang out together," I said, pretty sure that Christian was going to join us today. "Do you want to hang out with us?"

"A chance to hang out with Rose Hathaway?! I would be totally crazy to refuse!!" He said trying to make it sound like a banter but I knew he meant it.

The week end was very agreeable, so agreeable that I was actually sorry to see it end. We all spent just about every waking hour together. Christian was starting to be more and more like himself, which could be seen as annoying for some but I just marveled to have some of my stability back. My friends were the one constant thing in my life and I had to hold on to that with dear life.

I was even impressed by Lissa's behavior. At first I could feel the pain radiating from her even if she concealed it so well. By Sunday night she was still longing for him but she managed to be there and just enjoy his presence.

By Monday night we were all like before except with less sexual tension from fire boy/spirit girl but a lot more from the spirit boy/crazy dhampir girl. But it was nice nevertheless.

"Where is your fellow dhampir?" Christian asked curiously as I sat beside him for dinner.

"Dunno…" I shrugged quickly scanning the room . "Maybe he is getting a quickie somewhere," I said just to piss him off.

"Oh Rose I love when you talk dirty to me," said Adrian wiggling his eyebrows as he sat across from me. "Are you jealous I mean…I can help you with that."

"You really are a pervert aren't you?" Asked Lissa elbowing him. Things were getting even better, now she could sit across from Christian without being sullen.

"Only as far as my little dhampir is concerned," he grinned and winked at me.

I just rolled my eyes ignoring his comment but deep down I really liked his unwavering attention.

About 5 minutes later we saw Eddie enter the common scanning the room probably looking for us. He was slightly flushed and a light of excitement was in his eyes.

"Umm either he got laid or he has exciting news…not sure, I can't tell with him." Christian stated so matter of factly that I burst into laugher.

Lissa rolled her eyes but couldn't help but chuckle too, waving her hand so Eddie could spot us.

"Dude!! You won't even guess why I'm late!!" He said coming to sit beside Lissa.

"Does it involve a girl?" Asked Christian suggestively.

"Or a boy…Let's keep an open mind." Adrian added.

"Uh…?" Eddie shook his head. "Yeah there is this guy and--"

"YES!!" Said Adrian cutting Eddie's off with his hiss of victory. "I totally won, you owe me $20.00 Ozera. Told you he liked boys."

"Shit," said Christian shaking his head with defeat.

"Stop it" I said slapping Christian's arm which was almost immediately imitated by Lissa on Adrian.

"Oh you are so funny guys!!" Said Eddie with heavy sarcasm, "well I hope mobster dude blows up your knees," he added slightly pouting.

The mobster reference swept my smile away. "A mobster guy?!" I asked apparently the voice pretty appealing as Lissa eyed me warily and Eddie frowned.

"Yeah I had to go to the Administrative building to give the paperwork Alto forced me to collect during class you know," he said to me.

I quickly nodded trying my best not to jump from my seat.

"Anyways I got up there and there was this guy with flashy scarves and golden jewelry. He was with 3 guardians and talking to Kirova on how he would like to visit the school to see how the generous donations he had been making for the part 15 years had been used." Eddie looked up like he half expected for someone to be standing behind him, he dropped his voice. "Apparently the guy is like one of the biggest mafia bosses… Mazur I think was his name is."

"Oh that's good!!!" Said Adrian chuckling. "Abe Mazur at St. Vladimir!! It's going to get ugly," he added and I could hear the real respect in his voice.

"Was my mother around?" I asked imagining the effect it would have on her to see him after all these years.

Eddie shook his head negatively.

Lissa looked at me with wide eyes. "Is that---"

"Yep"

"The one that help you when--"

"Uh huh,"

"The knee blowing machine?"

"The one and only," I said almost wanting to laugh at the irony of the moment.

Lissa was whispering in Eddie's ear probably helping him get up to speed.

"What do you think he wants?" Asked Christian warily. "I mean if his reputation is accurate I don't think he gives a shit about his donations." He frowned. "Why would he even give money to a school…this school in the first place?" Asked Christian looking at me quizzically like I was a freaking Abe expert and had all the answers.

Well, I did have the answer to that particular question. I thought it was the time to come clean and if my mother got mad for me telling the truth to my friends, then so be it.

All three of them were looking at me with wonder which was making me self conscious.

"Yeah I think I know why he did that you see he---" I started but stopped when an almost eerie silence fell over the room.

I looked up and saw Abe looking right at me. He was only with one of his guardians. One of the guardians I met in Baia…Pavel I believe his name was.

He slowly walked to our table as people started to whisper, it was true that he had a freakishly enormous charisma. I could see why people just shut up when he was looking at them but he never impressed me. Maybe…Maybe I always knew deep down that it was different, that I was different.

"Oh, oh the man is something," said Christian chuckling and keeping his eyes on Abe.

"Yeah no wonder he scares people shitless," added Adrian laughing too.

_Oh you won't laugh long _I thought seeing Abe approaching our table. I bet the others thought he would continue to the end of the room to join the guardian quarters but I knew better.

And as expected they stopped laughing when Abe stopped just behind Lissa and Adrian and looked at me with his cocky, sarcastic trade mark grin.

"Hello Little girl," he said resting his hands on the back of Adrian's chair.

Adrian was looking at me and I could see he was tense. _Not such a smart mouth anymore _I thought laughing.

"Hello old man." I said under the incredulous eyes of my friends. I bet they knew that not a lot of people could disrespect Abe Mazur and get away with it. "What brings you to the middle of Montana?…Business?" I asked with heavy sarcasm raising an eyebrow but I was sure I was not looking as cool as Dimitri used too, I was probably looking like I was having an attack of some sort.

"I missed you, you know," he said chuckling. "Nah, I came to check on my daughter!" He said still keeping his eyes locked on mine.

The others were looking completely astonished.

"Poor kid, whoever she is," muttered Christian just loud enough so I was the only one able to hear him.

"And by the way you should stop calling me 'old man' it's not very polite." He grinned. "We should stop the pretenses, you can call me Daddy."

"What the f--" Started Adrian trying to see in my face if it was the true but I probably paled 2 shades and gave away the answer.

"Hi dad," I said trying not to show he destabilized me. "How are you doing?"

Lissa was completely astonished. _You never told me that!! Rose that's big!! Why didn't you say something like 'By the way the mobster guy is my dad.'? _She said through the bond. She wasn't mad, just vastly surprised.

"I couldn't have. I didn't know that when I told you the whole story," I answered to her unspoken thoughts.

Adrian, Christian, and Eddie didn't react. They were used to our unusual way of conversing but Abe lost his natural smugness for just a second.

He looked at Lissa raising an eyebrow about to talk but he was stopped by Christian.

"Well at least now we know where Rose got her 'psycho-criminal' side from," he said nudging me playfully.

I couldn't help but smile at his comment. You had to give it to him whatever the situation, he couldn't keep his witty mouth closed, we probably were brother and sister in another life.

"Excuse me? Are you calling me a psycho criminal?" Asked Abe now concentrating his attention on Christian. His eyes and voice were pretty cold but I knew he wasn't mad. I had a small glimpse of Mad Abe in Baia and that wasn't it.

"I…" Started Christian the eyes widening slightly. He didn't look that smart now. "Help me." He whispered to me.

"Anyway _baba_…" I said for Abe to concentrate on me. Baba was the Turkish translation of dad and I knew it would be enough to divert his attention.

"Yes _Kazim_?" He asked apparently pleased with my efforts. I also knew that Kazim meant 'daughter' in Turkish that I randomly started to learn words from the Turkish,/English dictionary I borrowed from the library. It helped me to keep my mind occupied during my nightly alone time.

"And he wants to sleep with your daughter!" Christian blurted out pointing at Adrian.

That was something I didn't expect. I looked at him wide eyed and mouth half open probably just like Lissa and Eddie.

"Thanks Ozera," said Adrian acerbically apparently doing his best not to look up and meet Abe's probable death glare. "Smooth…really smooth."

"What? I want to keep my kneecaps." Said Christian actually making me laugh.

"We're all going to keep our kneecaps." I said standing up. "I'll see you tomorrow guys. Want to go somewhere private?" I asked Abe.

"Please…that would be nice." He said quickly glancing at both Christian and Adrian causing me to smile.

_I want to know the whole story Rose! Tomorrow_. Lissa warned me through the bond.

"Promise Liss." I said standing beside Abe. "Let's go. "

As we turned around I saw the little red head walking in the room and, as their eyes met, my heart literally crushed in my chest…at least the little part I had left.

What I saw in my moms' eyes was just breath taking. It was pain, longing, sorrow, and above all else, there was love. I knew most people would miss it but I knew her well enough and I knew that would be exactly how I would look when I see Dimitri again, even in 20 years.

I could feel Abe tense up beside me and I dared a quick look to his face, his jaw was locked and his face somber.

Yeah I guess the expression of feelings was something that neither my mother nor father were experts in… I never stood a chance in that area.

We slowly walked to the door where she was waiting for us.

She smiled at me probably to tell me that everything was alright but as she looked up at him again, the longing was still there.

"Hello _meleğim_. It has been long, too long _bi tanem_.'' Said Abe very softly to my mother.

_Oh my god!! She just blushed like a school girl!! _I would have bet my silver stake that my mom could not blush except for when she was mad. I didn't know what the Turkish words he just said meant and honestly I didn't want to know. I was just guessed it was lovey dovey and gooey enough to make me puke. Yeah I didn't react that well to love these days but who could blame me…

''What are you doing here?'' She asked trying to sound detached but I didn't think she fooled any of us.

''Aren't you happy to see me?'' He asked raising an eyebrow.

_Damn!! He could do the sexy eyebrow thing too just like Dimitri! _That was something I wished I had inherited from him.

''Well guys things are getting awkward for me right now,'' I said doing my best to sound teasing. ''So I think I'll go back to my room but I'll see you later'' I added to Abe's attention.

My mom nodded with a discreet sigh of relief.

Abe gave me a strange smile. ''Oh you can count on it.'' He said his voice slightly threatening.

He was probably here to kick my butt about my childish attitude on the phone and my stupid wish to find Victor.

I sighed, tomorrow I'll have to respond to the Gestapo questions about for being the biggest Moroi mobsters' daughter. I could already hear Christian's witty remarks and couldn't help but smile. As strange as it seemed I was not ashamed to be his daughter, not ashamed at all. That man went out of his habits just for me, he took risks to keep me safe.

I was just starting to drift into sleep when I heard a knock on my door, it was firm and still quite loud.

I looked at the alarm clock and frowned. I heard the knock again, it was even more impatient this time.

''I'm coming!'' I growled. ''I hope it's important or god help you I'll kick your butt,'' I mumbled.

I opened the door and swore with surprise when I saw both Abe and Pavel standing in front of me.

''I'd like to see you try,'' said Abe with a small smile playing on his lips

The sun had just risen and it was not good for a Moroi to be out and about.

''What…Is everything ok?'' I asked worried.

Abe nodded quickly. ''Dress quickly, Pavel is going to take you to my private plane where Mishka (One of Abe's other guardians) is already waiting. The three of you have to go now so you make it back before morning. No one needs to know…your mother would kill me.''

''Go? Go where?'' I asked looking from one to another. From Abe's concerned face to Pavel's grim one.

''Where you wanted to go _Kazim_. I managed to do it.'' He said clearly proud.

''Do what?'' I asked still slow.

''Arranged for you to see Victor Dashkov,'' he said barely louder than a whisper.


	6. Chapter 6

**A.N:** Quick note just to thanks you guys for the fantastic reviews. And a big thanks to Megan for her work (awesome like always).

Don't forget to review and show me the love ( or anything else) =D

Hugsies

**Chapter 6:**

The plane trip took about 90 minutes and the whole way I couldn't believe I was about to see Victor. I was excited but also disgusted to feel this way. It was silly, stupid, and selfish but I just couldn't help it. It brought me closer to my goal… my impossible fairy tale ending.

I was happy when the plane finally landed. The flight was really awkward and mainly silent. Pavel looked grim and the other…Mishka, well he didn't look any better.

_The grim brothers!_ But I guess you didn't choose your guardians on their smile or cheery attitude and these two really look lethal.

After opening the plane door Mishka and Pavel exchanged quick words, Pavel turned to me and gestured me forward.

"Ok here is the drill, guardian Mishka is going to wait by the prison main door while you and I get inside." He said with his very cold voice. I still couldn't see his eyes because they were constantly hidden behind his very dark aviator sunglasses. Which was making me feel a bit uncomfortable.

"Fine," I said ready to exit the plane but he gripped my arm.

"I'm not done Hathaway." He said so frostily that I could have been iced on the spot. "Once we're in you have," he quickly glanced at his watch, "60 minutes and 60 minutes only to talk to him. Done or not, happy or not we'll have to go since we'll have only 30 minutes before the change in the guards. Are we clear?" He said keeping his firm grip on my arm.

"Crystal," I barked getting out his grip.

"Let's go," he said walking briskly in front of me. I knew it sounded childish but it took all of my self control to not kick him in the back of the knee and make him fall.

"It's a human jail!!" I said completely shocked.

"Yeah it is," replied Pavel as we walked down the main corridor.

"How come?" I tried, even if chatting with a freshly woken up grizzly bear seemed far more attractive.

"Who would ever think of looking for a Royal Moroi in a human jail?" He asked rhetorically. "Anyways, here we are," he said as we reached a corridor in the basement. "It's the isolation ward. You'll be separated by a plastic panel but don't worry it's absolutely indestructible."

" Like I worry about Victor Dashkov," I snorted.

"Of course…it's not like you worry about anyone but yourself anyways." He said pursing his lips.

"What's that supposed to mean? "I asked getting really angry now, the douchebag was really getting on my nerves.

"I'll stay beside the door," he said clearly ignoring me. "Go now," he pointed to the glass panel in the middle of the corridor.

He quietly closed the door and rested his back against it.

I could feel his eyes on my back as I slowly walked to meet my living nemesis. The man I hated the most, and one of the people I needed the most as well… How ironic!

When I finally saw him he had his back towards me, he was reading. He still had his silky black hair, the disease hadn't claimed his body just yet.

"Well it's nice to have some visitors," he said not even bothering to turn around.

"I wish I could say the same," I retorted before cursing myself for not being able to keep my voice from shaking.

Victor turned around quickly and started to laugh.

"Rosemarie Hathaway?!" He asked not able to conceal the surprise in his voice.

"The one and only," I said standing up straight and crossing my arms on my chest.

"What a nice surprise," Victor replied with a nice smile as he started walking towards the glass wall. "I always enjoyed your agreeable company."

_I bet you did you jackass!! _I thought but just gritted my teeth looking at him thoughtfully.

"So Dear Rose…How is Vasilisa doing?" He asked, casually resting a hand on the wall.

"She…She is doing alright." I said giving in. I needed him on my side.

Victor narrowed his eyes slightly. He was getting suspicious since he probably didn't expect me to answer.

"What can I do for you Rose? Are.. Are you managing the spirit effects alright?" He asked and I could see the malevolent light in his eyes.

"That's why I'm here," I admitted.

"Now we're talking." He said and seemed rather pleased about that. "I always liked your honesty Rose."

I snorted.

"No it's true. I always had a soft spot for you…your protecting instinct." He shook his head. "It's just spectacular."

And I knew that it was true in a twisted way. He did ask Strigoi Natalie to do her best to spare my life, he wanted me in his army.

"I'm here to help…" He smiled, but I knew he didn't mean it at all, I knew him too well by now.

I nodded. "I need you to tell me where I can find your brother Robert."

"Robert? Why?! Everybody is looking for Robert these days." Said Victor and I could see his curiosity increasing by the second.

"I'm the one looking for your brother." I said standing straight. "He has some information that I need."

"Is that so?" Asked Victor chuckling. "Please take a seat," he said pointing at the folding chair that was against the corridor wall.

I quickly took it and sat in front of him as he pulled his own chair closer to the glass.

"So why would you need my brother that much Rose? I mean…" He shrugged, "it has to be big for you to come here and I don't even want to know what you promised Abe Mazur."

"I heard he is an expert on spirit and I really need his help." I said evasively.

"I also know a lot about spirit, you know that already. I tried to help you and you just pushed me away as if I was evil personified." He said sounding saddened by the fact, but he didn't fool me. "Maybe my methods were not the best but the goal was right. What is that saying?…" He said pretending to think while gently tapping his chin. " _'All that is necessary for evil to succeed is that good men do nothing.'_ "

I wanted to say _Whatever freaking psycho, you are an evil motherfucker!! Torturing Lissa, making your own daughter turn Strigoi…you make me sick_. But I just stared at him not trusting myself to speak.

"And you see well…Spirit does take a toll on people and my brother…my brother is not as sane as he once was." He said staring at me with his keen eyes probably trying to decipher my facial expression, he was a fantastic mentalist, I had to be careful. "Maybe I could answer your question Rose…I'll help _**YOU! **_" he said pressing on the _'you'_ trying to make me feel like I was special.

I sighed with relief apparently he was still alive, that was already something.

"You see I heard this rumor," I said resting my hands on my knees. "A rumor that says your brother knew the way to reverse the Strigoi state." I added and I knew that even if I tried as hard as I possibly could, I was sure he could hear the despair in my voice. His face lit up, he clearly understood that he had the power. Dang!!

"Is that so?" He said crossing his legs. "May I ask who told you that?"

"That's irrelevant." I said dismissively. "Is it true?"

"Why is that so important Rose? I mean lets be honest it sounds pretty much like a fairy tale to me." He was literally marveling. "How important is it to you??"

"I…very" I replied, somberly.

He looked at me for a little while pondering. "Who did you loose to the dark side Rose?"

"No one." I said trying my best to keep my face blank.

"It has to be someone important…Maybe your mother or Vasilisa's little boyfriend?" He tapped his chin with his forefinger. "I mean for your boyfriend to follow you in that crazy and highly criminal adventure it has to be someone _**REALLY**_ important."

I simply shrugged.

"Where is the boyfriend by the way?" He asked trying to peek down the side but he wasn't curious enough to stand so he could have an even better look. "You are legal now aren't you? And he was pretty crazily possessive with you." He chuckled. "Come on Guardian Belikov you can show yourself." Said Victor with laugher in his voice. "I know perfectly well that you wouldn't let your girlfriend face the evil traitor by herself...Come on!"

"He…is not here." I whispered, acknowledging that took my breathe away.

Victor frowned for a second, "Awww I see Rose. I'm sorry you two were really a match made it heaven." He shook his head with, what I presumed was, fake contrition. " _'Death is not the greatest loss in life . The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live._'"

_Victor and his quotes! _I thought exasperated but decided to play along. "_So dear I love him that with him, All deaths I could endure. Without him, live no life._" I recited, hoping I got it right but when I saw the genuine pleasure in Victor's face, I knew I hit it right. Victor was a sucker for the classics.

"I'm going to help you Rose, you two have to be together…I always knew you were meant to be." He chuckled, "and to have you quote Shakespeare to me? it's more than love as far as you are concerned!"

"So it's true then. We can reverse the Strigoi state?" I asked, my heart pounding in my chest so fast I could barely breathe.

"I haven't seen it with my own eyes but Robert told me that many, so many, times and he has maybe a lot of flaws, but fortunately lying is not one of them." Added Victor with his huge grin.

"What do you want from me?" I asked trying to hide my impatience.

"Nothing, well maybe one or two healings but no… I'll _**TAKE**_ you to Robert, you have my word." he said nonchalantly, like he was asking me for a piece of bread or something that's very easy to get.

"Take me there…" I whispered. I expected him to ask me to get him out of jail to help me, it was the last card he had to play. He would have been just a fool not to try and I might just be crazy and desperate enough to agree.

"Tell me something Rose, do they know why you are here?" Asked Victor resting his back on the chair, his eyes never leaving mine. "Do they even know you're here?"

I just stared at him, face hard.

"Do your friends know you are battling because of Belikov, all the risks you are taking just for one man?" He asked again but I could see his eyes sparkle with anticipation. He already knew the answer.

He laughed softly. "Well I guess I'm not the only one to have a secret agenda. You are ready to do a lot of things to attain your goal aren't you? Hiding, lying, threatening, maybe even a little torture too."

I couldn't deny that, I did have fun torturing. Strigoi or not it was still wrong and I knew that at the time I just didn't care. I kept thinking whatever the means used, only the goal mattered.

"Oh Rose I always knew you were special, worthy. You've got such an instinct, when you know deep down something is right you fight for it! You're ready to bind the fine line between what is legal and what is not." He said and it made me think of what my mother said about Abe. "We're a lot alike you and I." He added and it couldn't have hurt more if he stabbed me.

"I'm _**NOTHING**_ like you!" I couldn't help but growl.

He chuckled. "Only time will tell." He said dismissively. "Anyways you have my conditions now, plus it's more a necessity that anything else really." He added mysteriously.

"How come?" I asked taking the bait.

"Robert won't talk to anyone but me." He said keeping his eyes on mine probably to show me he was speaking the truth. "Like I told you, he is not the man he used to be, he won't trust any of you."

I sighed running my hands through my hair. I knew I couldn't trust that snake and I never intended to. But now it was clear I had to decide if I was going to help him break free and becoming a traitor. A traitor in the eyes of my whole world, bringing shame on my family and friends. I could just give up and wait for Dimitri to come to me and let it end by his death or mine. Maybe even both.

"Don't look so tortured Rose, things are never as bad as we think they are." He said in a comforting tone.

_Victor trying to comfort me? Things __**REALLY **__were __bad_. "No you're right, sometimes they are worse."

"Hathaway time to go." Said Pavel in an hard and commanding tone.

"Not a fan it seems," Victor noted.

I grimaced getting up.

"Well when you make up your mind you know where to find me. I don't intend to go anywhere anytime soon." Victor commented with a grin.

"Hathaway!" Repeated Pavel even harsher this time.

"I'm coming guardian! Take a fucking valium." I snapped.

"I missed your impetuosity Rose! It was so nice talking to you…I can't wait for us to meet again," he said in such a voice that it gave me the chills.

I nodded curtly to Victor before rushing to meet a very mad Pavel.

"Oh Rose to thank you here is a clue," Victor shouted just as I reached the door. "My brother is safe in the land of Kielland."

I didn't have a chance to hear if he added anything because Pavel closed the big soundproof door.

_The land of kielland? Or kielan? kelland? _I thought as we walked hurriedly out of the prison. What did it even mean?

"Hurry you'll think some other time!" Said Pavel gripping my wrist.

I gasped. "Let go or I swear to god I'll break every single on of your fingers do you understand?" I snarled with my best death glare. One that I knew I inherited from Abe.

I saw Pavel's jaw lock firmly but he let go of my arm.

"You don't like me do you?" I asked already knowing the answer and not caring really.

"I'm not here to like you," he said bluntly. "I'm here to do my job and bring you back safely to the academy." He added as we reached the main exit where Mishka was waiting.

As we walked back to the plane I had the time to detail them. Mishka was probably in his early 30ies. He was not very tall, maybe 5'9 but pretty burly, actually very burly, with thick muscles. He had ginger hair freckled and very sharp yet warm blue eyes. Each time he looked at me I had a small stabbing pain in my chest because he was how I presumed Mason would look if he did manage to hit 30.

Pavel couldn't be more different. He was very tall probably as tall as Dimitri 6'6 or 6'7 but much MUCH lankier. Well he was not as lanky as a Moroi in general but I knew a few Moroi that were a lot bigger than him, such as Abe and Adrian. To be fair those two were pretty much freaks of the Moroi world since they were really bigger than they should be. He had very short pale blond hair and as for his eyes well… I had no idea but it was maybe not such a bad thing, I was pretty sure they were not full of love and understanding as far as I was concerned.

I settled in the back of the plane deciding to chill for the 90 minutes of the returning flight. I had a lot to decide and those decisions were going to be based on a lot of presumptions.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I could hear Pavel whisper in Russian to Mishka. I caught a couple of words even with my more than scattered knowledge of Russian, I clearly heard _'inconsiderate' _and _'selfish'_ attached to my name.

My eyes shot open, that was it! I was already mad enough .

"_Prasteete!_"I said coldly standing up walking up to Pavel. _Prasteete_ meant 'excuse me' in Russian. "If you've got something to say I'd rather you say it to my face," I said now standing only mere inches from him.

Pavel looked up to me and I could see that he was gritting his teeth.

"Come on guardian, it will be good for you, give it your best shot!" I said, taunting him. "It's not good to keep it all bottled up you know. Based on medical studies it can affect your libido."

Mishka sent Pavel a warning glance which clearly meant _'don't go there, shut it!_'

"I won't tell anyone," I said to Mishka, "his job is safe. Come on _Papav,_" I said even more defiantly now.

Pavel jumped up from his seat like it burned him.

"Oh little girl you don't want to know what I think!!" He said leaning in.

I couldn't help to laugh at that. "Little girl? You are what…21? 22? Please!" I snorted, "and take off those glasses it's ridiculous." I replied, grabbing them and throwing them away.

Pavel balled his hands into fits and I thought he was about to hit me, but when I finally met his eyes I couldn't help but huff.

"It's called Heterochromia," he said coldly because I kept staring at his one icy blue eye and one that was so deep brown it looked almost black. "I don't wear my sunglasses to look badass like you probably think, it's just that people can find it a little…disturbing."

In a normal condition I would have said his eyes were not disturbing, I would have said what I really thought being that they were beautiful, unique, but I was mad and hurt.

"You're a freak all the way aren't you?" I asked with a bitter smile.

"What about you _sooka_??" He asked crossing his arms on his chest.

I heard Mishka _tsk_ with disapproval in the background but neither of us acknowledged him.

"Oh calling me a bitch ?" I said shaking my head, I knew the Russian insults pretty well. "That's SOOO original _Zhopa_."

He snorted. "You really want to know what I think?" He asked and it sounded like a threat but I couldn't imagine what he could say to hurt me more than I already was.

"I used to think you were a good person, brave." He shook his head with clear disgust. "I was so wrong. When we were in Baia, I understood you. Even when Mr. Mazur couldn't figure out why you were there I knew… I understood it was to take him down and I thought that you were a girl with so much honor," he snorted. "But now, now you are ready to put all the people who care about you in danger just to save him?"

I looked at him lips pursed.

"You don't even know the risks your father took by arranging this meeting but who cares right?? As long as you get what you want!" He added his eyes locked on mine. "You had so much potential and you throw it away You know deep down that this whole thing will end badly and the disgusting part is that you are going to take the people who love you down with you, and_** THAT's **_unforgivable and terribly, terribly selfish!" He pointed at me. "Don't kid yourself, you know that helping him escape will be considered as high treason punishable of life imprisonment. So Hathaway… Who are you going to condemn to this fate? Who loves you enough to fall down with you? The Moroi best friend? The Royal deeply in love with you? The newly found dad?? Tell me novice… Who? Who will it be?" He demanded, inches from my face and I could see so much deception and anger in his eyes.

"You don't know me!" I snapped. I intended to keep it shut and let him talk but I couldn't, maybe because he was closer to the truth than I expected.

"But just so you know the real Belikov would be so disappointed in you…" He said and it had the effect of a hard punch in my stomach.

"Don't you EVER talk about Dimitri do you understand!!" I said shoving him hard. "You don't know him!! Nobody knew him like I did!! _Kooshite govno ee oomeeite,_"I added shoving him again, so much for wanting to keep my self control.

Pavel grabbed my shoulders hard and nudged me. He was a lot stronger than I expected from his gangly frame. "No I won't '_go eat shit and die_' but thanks," he said now actually hurting me he was squeezing so hard. "And maybe I didn't know Belikov personally but I knew his reputation. He was all about safety, honor, and protection. He probably would have risked his life to keep a promise made to you but he would never, and of that I am positive, risked another persons life or reputation for something he felt he had to do. It would have been contrary to all he believed in and that you know Miss _smartmouth_! You are a dishonor to his memories and you are unworthy of your friends!"

"Are you done?" I said roughly getting out of his grip. "Feeling better?" I added trying my best to look only furious. But deep down I felt like dying. But I wouldn't cry in front of him, I wouldn't show him how badly it hurt…No! Never!

"I do," he said walking passed me to retrieve his glasses from the floor. He put them back and went to sit beside Mishka again. "Just one more thing Hathaway," he said not even bothering to look at me. "Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. I just hope you realize that before it's to late and you make mistakes that you will regret till your last breath."

"Monkey bars? Really??" I asked wanting to jump on him and punch him unconscious.

Mishka sighed heavily throwing a reproving look to Pavel before concentrating on me, actually talking to me for the first time. "What my idiotic colleague means is that there are things that we never want to let go of, people we never want to leave behind. But keep in mind that letting go isn't the end of the world, it's the beginning of a new life." He said with so much kindness that it actually aggravated the throbbing pain in my chest, in the place where my heart used to be.

I could feel that my eyes started to fill up with tears and I didn't want to give Pavel the satisfaction of seeing me cry.

"Is there a bathroom on this plane?" I asked looking away.

"Behind the curtain," said Mishka pointing to the blue curtain at the end of the plane.

As soon as I pulled back the curtain I let the tears fall quietly. I looked around curiously, across from the toilet there were some metallic drawers and a fridge. I opened the fridge and smiled widely. That was a sign, a way to make me feel better, make me numb for a little while.

Abe was maybe Muslim (I didn't know for sure yet) but that fridge was full of miniatures…. Alleluia!!

I took some of them and stuffed them in my pocket. I took some more for my little trip to the toilet.

I also took some mints that were in a glass ball for my breathe I knew it was completely stupid and irresponsible to do this but at this point I was already at… I couldn't be more disappointing anyways.

I set four little bottles on the lavabo.

"Hello my dear old friends," I said to the bottles. "Johnnie, William, Jack, and Jim, I really missed you guys!!" I said looking at the Johnnie Walker, William Lawson's, Jack Daniel's, and Jim Beam bottles .

I drank the four bottles one after the other knowing that I had two more of each in my pockets, making me smile.

I started to suck on the mint as the alcohols warmth was filling me. Was it a good way to deal with my problems? Absolutely not because they would still be here tomorrow along with a killer headache.

But I was still stuck with 30 more minutes with Pavel and then I had to get through the day with all this guilt and pain….I sighed.

When I came out I sat on the last seat pretending to look at the landscaping. When we landed the sun was still up, it would be for at least two hours before the academy started to move around…3 hours before my training.

"You should go and sleep a bit," said Mishka, "it's going to be a long day." I nodded and as they took the direction to the lower campus where the guardian dorms were, I discreetly took off through the trees and drank three more bottles while sitting under a centennial tree.

I started to laugh it was clear where I needed to go, Adrian would help me feel good... Very good. He was my Moroi knight but deep down I would always be longing for my Dhampir prince, the prince I needed to save.

I drank a fourth bottle on my way to the guest dorms and sucked on a mint before entering it.

I walked close to the wall concentrating on the board to keep walking in a straight line.

I knocked at the door twice. Adrian opened it, his face full of sleep.

He was only wearing black Pj bottoms, bare chest, and his eyes widened when he saw me standing here.

"Rose? Is everything ok?" He asked worried.

"You know you are just adorable when you wake up...Irresistible," I said with a grin. "May I come in?" I asked turning my man eating smile on this time.

"Of… Of course," he stuttered letting me in. "What do you need?" He asked nicely while closing the door.

"You," I said putting a hand at the back of his neck pulling him to me so I could kiss him passionately.


	7. Chapter 7

**A.N:**

Hey guys thank you so much for the reviews it was so sweet of you. I guess you didn't like it as much as usual because I did get a HUGE drop in the number of reviews well I hope this one will be more inspiring lol.

I have another VA story in mind pretty exciting but I won't start posting it before this one is over =D

Well don't forget to check out my play list ( I updated it) and please _**Review**_ to tell me what you think.

Take care and ENJOY

**Chapter 7:**

At first Adrian kissed me back and it felt good, better than I thought it would. His lips were warm and soft against mine, his hard body radiating with want made me shiver. Almost as soon as we deepened the kiss he gently pushed me away breaking it altogether.

I groaned with frustration.

"Not like that…" He said breathlessly.

"You don't want me?" I asked him, feeling both confused and hurt. I didn't deal very well with rejection.

"Of course I do Rose." He retorted like he never heard something stupider in his entire life. "I never wanted anyone as much as I want you."

"So?" I replied, opening my arms. "I'm here to be claimed," I said smiling widely.

"Not while you're like that." He shook his head, "not when you're drunk."

"I'm not drunk!" I said trying my best to sound offended.

Adrian was still looking at me with a sad smile. "There is not much that a French kiss can hide my little dhampir."

I blushed slightly. "Well I'm not that drunk! It won't be like you're taking advantage of me I promise," I said reaching for him.

"Maybe not," he caught my hands before I could touch his torso. "But you are clearly drunk enough to regret it when you wake up." He added keeping my hands in his.

"So what? It will be my mistake. Consider me warned," I shrugged and looked up at his face that was torn with indecision. I stood on my toes trying to attain his lips but he just leaned down to kiss my forehead.

"No," he whispered against my forehead. "I don't want you to look back on something we did together and see it as a mistake."

I got out of his arms feeling slightly angry. "Being a good guy sucks!" I said childishly walking into the room.

"It really does," he agreed. "Not so long ago I wouldn't have thought about it twice but things changed…you changed them."

I snorted still looking away. I took a small bottle from my pocket, I only had time to get half way through it when Adrian ripped it away from me.

"How many of those did you have?" Adrian asked seriously. He even seemed to sound a little worried.

"Ummmm 8?" I tapped my chin, "no wait!" I pointed to the little bottle he was holding. "8 and three quarters of that one."

"9 bottles?" He asked rhetorically. "Wow… you are drunker than I thought you were," he said setting the bottle on the table.

"I told you I'm not drunk!" I said as I raised my arms in exasperation, which was a stupid idea because I already had trouble keeping myself balanced.

I could already see my head banging the side of the coffee table. When I felt an arm wrap tightly around my waist to steady me, I felt slightly relieved.

"Sure you aren't," Adrian responded, keeping his hold around my waist. "Come on you drunk, let's get you to bed," he said as he started leading me to his room.

I shook my head. "You don't understand," I said my voice cracking.

Adrian stopped walking keeping me against him. I presumed that he liked to have me against him, maybe as much as I liked being against him. "What don't I understand Rose?" He asked softly removing some rebellious hair from my face.

"I need to save him." I said in a tearless sob. "But to save him I have to become a traitor, renounce to everything I believe in."

"Who do you need to save Rose?" He asked with real concern.

"My prince!" I stated like if it was evident.

"Your prince?" Asked Adrian with a small smile playing on his lips. "And who is that lucky bastard?" He asked teasingly.

"Dimitri," I could feel the tears starting to fall down my cheeks. "I need to save Dimitri."

I saw Adrian recoil slightly and wince like I had just punched him, but he kept quiet and we continued our way to his bedroom.

Adrian gently help me to sit on his bed but his face was somber now. He took my jacket off.

"I…please understand," I said looking at him helplessly. "I have to save him."

Adrian eyes were sad now. "He is dead Rose, you killed him remember?"

Adrian kneeled down and took my shoes off.

"No he is not dead. I failed and now he is coming here to take me or to kill me." I said in a hushed tone.

Adrian put my shoes aside and looked at me with incredulity.

"Belikov is alive?" He tried.

I nodded crying even harder now. "And now I even have to break Victor Dashkov out of jail to save him. Victor knows how to save my prince he told me last night."

"Rose…Rose focus for a minute," Said Adrian with urgency and for the first time since I met him I could see pure fear in his eyes. "You saw Victor? Where??"

"In jail! I went to a secret meeting." I said like he was an idiot. "Can you believe that only the bad wizard knows the way to break the spell and give me back my prince. Cause you see…" I brought my hand to his cheek. "The princess can't go on with her life knowing that her prince could return to her and finally give her the 'happily ever after' she is longing for."

Adrian pursed his lips so strongly that they turned white. I could see pain and deception in his eyes, like I was letting him down, breaking his heart. He slipped away from my touch and took the bottle of water on his night stand. "Drink please," he said nicely yet his voice sounded so cold, so distant.

He helped me down on his bed and carefully tucked me in.

"Sleep now," he whispered and there was pain both in his eyes and his voice.

I closed my eyes. "Why are you sad?" I mumbled already drifting into sleep.

I was not sure I heard it right or if it was a dream because I was already half way gone but I thought he said something like. "My heart is breaking because I realized that I have to let go the only person I ever loved. The worst feeling in the world is giving all the love you have and knowing it'll never be returned." I think he kissed my forehead and then I was asleep.

I woke up with a killer headache. I looked around slightly panicked, not knowing where I was. Although, I sure knew that this big comfy bed wasn't mine.

I instinctively patted the other side, it was empty and cold and I patted myself, I still had my shirt and jeans on.

I closed my eyes again and sighed with relief trying to remember what the heck happened to me. Well the headache attested to a hangover, that was already something.

I heard voices coming from the other room.

"She is still sleeping," Adrian said.

Okay, I was in Adrian's bed…another clue.

"You're taking good care of her," said a deep man voice.

_Abe? _I thought.

"Someone has to." Adrian replied, apparently angry.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Asked Abe a lot colder now.

Adrian sighed heavily. "You know what forget it, it's none of my business, not anymore."

_Not anymore? What is happening?? _I thought my heart pounding in my chest.

"You'll figure out eventually that what Rose wants and what is good for her are sometime two totally opposite things." Added Adrian matter of factly. "Anyways don't you worry they all believed me when I explained she had dinner with me in my room and ate something apparently not so good, and that she spent the night vomiting which is actually not so wrong."

"She's been sick?" Abe asked with concern.

"Yeah but she is fine now, she is sleeping soundly. Apparently whiskey is not her best friend." He sighed again "That is a part of her I really didn't need to meet."

"The drunken Rose?" Asked Abe and I could hear laugher in his voice.

"No I knew drunken Rose. I meant vomiting _'like-in-the-exorcist' _Rose." Said Adrian and for once there was no humor in his voice, I could hear a underlying despair I couldn't understand.

_What the heck did I say to him? _I wondered but my brain was still slow.

"Don't worry I'll take care of her and I'll give you a call as soon as she is ready to go." Said Adrian and he seemed annoyed and that shocked me.

"Thank you," Abe replied and I could hear the real gratitude in voice.

About two minutes later the bedroom door opened slightly and Adrian peeked in.

"Hey…" I said with a sleepy voice.

"Oh you're awake," he commented, walking to me to check my temperature with the back of his hand.

He didn't smile at me or anything he looked so…distant and oddly enough it made my heart ache.

I frowned slightly but decided to ignore his attitude. "What time is it?"

"Classes are about to end," he said opening the drawer of his night stand. "Here take that with this full glass of water." He added putting two Tylenol in my hand.

"Are you alright?" I asked sitting up taking the tablets. I almost chocked drinking when I saw him take his suitcase out of his wardrobe.

"What's going on?" I asked jumping out of bed and apparently my equilibrium sucked because I almost fell. Adrian sighed with exasperation as he reached to steady me.

"Adrian please talk to me," I said reaching for his hand as he let go of me.

Adrian looked at me and sighed. "I think it's time for me to go, go back to Court."

"But…But what about Lissa and Spirit?" I asked but I just realized that I didn't want him to leave me.

"She will be moving to the Court in 2 months…We'll restart our work then," he said dismissively and started to load his suitcase.

"What about us? Our friendship?" I asked trying the best to contain my tears.

He snorted and it sounded so bitter coming from him. "Please you really don't need to keep it up. The pretenses are never good." He said continuing to pack his things into his suitcase.

I walked briskly to it, closed it, and sat on it.

"But what are you talking about?!" I asked annoyed now. "Talk to me please. I…I have no idea what happened last night and if I did anything to hurt you I'm sorry…really I…" I took a deep, shaky, breath. "I don't want to hurt you, ever."

Adrian stopped in front of me with a pile of clothes. He looked at me silently for minute before sighing in resignation.

"If you didn't want to hurt me you should have told me that Belikov was still alive and that you were still holding on," he replied and the pain in his voice made me wince.

_Did I say all that? _I thought astonished.

"Oh yea you talk when you're drunk and every word you said last night hurt me." He shook his head "I know you didn't do it voluntarily but it hurt just the same."

"How much did I say?" I asked still sitting on the suitcase.

"Much more than I wanted to know but if you don't talk to the others about it I will." He said threateningly. "If he is coming for you and if you're going to become an outlaw they have the right to know."

_Ok he knows everything _I thought ,wanting to kick myself.

"But I won't stay here and watch you destroy yourself and everything good in your life for something that was doomed since day one." He said with his voice full of sorrow. "I said I'll stand by you but not while you destroy yourself I can't do that!" .

"Doomed?" I asked because it was the only word that lingered in my mind.

"Oh come on Rose," he said putting the pile of clothes beside his suitcase. "Everything was against you two from day one but you were so gone for him you didn't see it!! Think Rose what did this relationship bring into your lives except heartache??!!"

I opened my mouth to answer but closed it again.

"I won't make the same mistake Rose… I won't insist on a road that will end up hurting me…hurting us." He closed his eyes. "I can't do that."

I got off the suitcase in defeat. "You wouldn't like the real Rose anyways," I said softly." If you knew all my dark secrets, it's maybe better this way."

"Don't try to put that one on me!" He shouted.

I turned around briskly looking at him completely surprised because I really didn't expect such a radical switch in his emotions.

"I know all your dark secrets and I still love you just the same." He added flush with anger. I was not even sure he realized that he told me that he loved me.

I thought about how I degraded myself being Dimitri's blood whore, almost begging him to bite me, I could see my bruised neck in the mirror again. Yeah, I was sure he wouldn't _'love'_ me anymore after that.

"You seem to ponder that," said Adrian as he stopped packing his suitcase. "You don't believe me?" He asked crossing his arms over his chest.

"No I do believe you," I said sincerely taking a step toward him but he instinctively took a step back. "I just don't think you know my darker secret."

He bit his bottom lip for a little while like he was trying to decide what to add. "I know what you are ashamed of Rose and there is no reason to be. You know when I walked into your dreams, the one when you were wearing that little blue summer dress, and that sapphire necklace… your aura was all wrong then."

I closed my eyes… He knew. "Please don't," I said in a breathe.

"I saw your neck Rose, I know what you did and do you think it changed anything? Do you think it made me care about you any less? Respect you any less?" He shook his head, "No! Never! And that's the truth! You are still the Rose I met and always will be!"

I looked at him in a whole different light. He was honest, I could see that in his eyes. He cared about me enough to disregard that. I... maybe if I tried harder, maybe I could learn to love him.

He closed his suitcases and took it off the bed.

"So if you love me so much…Why are you walking away?" I questioned, my voice hoarse.

Adrian walked in the small living area and set his suitcase down.

"You see people think it's holding on that makes you stronger. But sometime it's letting go." He gave me a sad smile. "I've seen what holding on to the wrong person could do," he said pointing to me. "I can't let history repeat itself. Lissa brought you some clothes. Take a shower and chill out a bit. I'm going to arrange a little meeting with the others so you can tell them." He shrugged slightly, "you don't have to tell them everything but you need to tell them the basics."

I nodded, resigned.

"And then I'll take the plane back to Court." He added looking away.

"I'm going to miss you", I replied in a low voice and I realized how much I would actually miss him.

"Certainly not as much as I'll miss you," He said before leaving the room and closing the door quietly behind him.

I smelled my shirt and it did have the faint odor of vomit and alcohol. I groaned. I was rather pleased I didn't remember the vomiting part since I'm sure it was pretty embarrassing, as far as Adrian was concerned that is. It was clearly a part of me I didn't want him to see.

I walked to the fresh pile of clothes and almost stumbled on his suitcase. I had the childish impulse to hide it somewhere but I knew it would not be enough to make him stay, because as crazy as it sounded, I wanted him to stay…I needed him to stay.

I took a the quickest cold shower in history just to try and put my brain in the right place. In the process removing the not so nice odor.

Adrian was residing on the fourth floor of the guest area and I decided to take the stairs down. I was on my way to the second floor when I froze midcourse. There was a very quiet conversation going on, almost whispering but the voices were unmistakable. It was my mother and Abe.

"She is fine, I was up there maybe half an hour ago," said Abe soothingly.

I knew it was wrong to listen but I just couldn't help myself.

"I…" My mother sighed. "I just don't know what got into her. She was getting better, at least I thought so."

"It's just an indigestion _meleğim_, nothing to worry about.''

My mother snorted. "Indigestion? Right! I know my daughter and she has a strong stomach! And I know you well, very well, you are an astonishing liar but you never fooled me." She said and her tone was getting cold.

_Be careful Abe…Angry Janine can be dangerous. _I thought wincing quietly going down two more steps as they dropped their already barely audible voices.

"It's because I never really tried to fool you."

"What are you doing here?"

"I told you I came to see Rose, she is my daughter after all…My only child. I helped you get her back, I deserve a place in her life." He said his voice cold too.

I didn't really realize it before but I felt relieved, slightly pleased, about being his only child. It made me special.

"Rose is…" I could hear my mother sharp intake of breath. "Well you don't know her Abe. She looks all tough and brave but she is much more sensitive than she lets people see."

"Are you blaming me?" He asked and I could hear the hurt in his voice.

"Well you came here yesterday unannounced and today she is so drunk she passed out in Ivashkov's room. I'm sorry but I can't help to connect the events."

"But I'm her father!" Abe snapped angrily, well as angrily as a whisper could convey.

I felt bad, now I was the cause of a fight between my mom and dad…I really was bad luck.

"You are her genitor! It doesn't make you her father." My mother whispered harshly.

"You didn't leave me the choice anyways did you?! I asked you to marry me but you said no! You are the one who decided to call it quits! You decided for us not me."

I was shocked. My mom was not kidding when she said that Abe wanted to assume.

She stopped talking for a minute. "I'm sorry I didn't mean that," I could hear the sincerity in her voice. "That was uncalled for."

They stayed silent for a minute or two.

"And you agreed with me then," added my mother finally. "You knew as well as I did that it was better for Rose. I mean it was almost two decades ago and a Dhampir/Moroi marriage would have been such a scandal, especially ours. We didn't have the lives for that and you know it."

"I know but letting you go didn't mean that I stopped loving you or that I didn't love the little baby you were carrying. Letting you go was my way of saying I love you." He added and I could hear the love in his voice.

I was getting uncomfortable and decided I needed to go now. I started to go up the stairs.

The last thing I heard was my mother saying, "I didn't leave because I didn't love you anymore."

I had barely closed the door behind me when my phoned beeped in my pocket. _Talk about timing!_

It was a brief text from Adrian saying that they were all waiting for me in Christian's room.

There was no turning back now, I just hoped I'd have some friends left when I get done.


	8. Chapter 8

**A.N:** Hey guys!

Thanks for those who reviewed the last chapter I really like your enthusiasm.

Now just let me tell you **this chapter has not been beta'ed' **so please don't crucify me! You know I'm doing my best to give you the best chapters possible but English is not my first language and sometimes the wording and grammar can be a bit faulty but I'm trying my hardest so please try to be easy with that one.

Well I hope you'll enjoy.

Take care =D

**Chapter 8:**

"I'm sorry Rose but do you know how crazy that sounds?!" Asked Christian after a silence that seemed to last forever.

I just told them everything about what Oksana told me, the whole Victor issue, the stake and Dimitri's note. The only thing I left out what my visit to prison last night and Adrian didn't intervene so I guessed he agreed with me that it was not a necessity at this point.

"I know" I whispered mostly keeping my eyes on Lissa who seemed to be frozen on the spot.

There were so many emotions coming out of her, it was almost overwhelming. She felt bad I failed once more, she was scared I would run off again but she was even more frightened by the thought that Dimitri could show up and turn me into a Strigoi. She thought deep down that she could not survive me becoming one of them…her enemy.

"Rose come on you can't honestly consider that!" Said Christian coming to sit beside me on the desk. "If it ever happened don't you think it would have been at least heard of? In like centuries." He sighed and squeezed my hand. "You know how much I want to believe it's possible…but it's just folklore, bedtime stories just like the story that say dhampirs actually could have babies together with the right spell but that Moroi kept the secret because they were scared dhampirs would not protect them anymore." He snorted. "I know how bad you want it to be true but it's not."

I met Adrian's eyes. They were hard with a small _'I-told-you-so' _in depth of them.

"But I witnessed it first hand!" I said in a last plea. I was probably trying to convince them as much as I was trying to convince myself.

"What do you mean?" asked Lissa finally getting out of her torpor.

I bit my bottom lip thinking on how I could mention the ring without sounding completely mental or cheap.

"I guess there is silver stakes but you know…that's pretty slim though." Tried Eddie grimacing.

Lissa looked more and more incredulous.

"No I'm not talking about silver stakes." I said concentrating my attention on Lissa. I knew she was the only one who would never judge me, at least I hoped so. "You see while I was…kidnapped" I said the last word not able to help the faint blush to gain my cheeks because even if I was high with Strigoi endorphins most of the time, I still remembered our pretty heated make out sessions when the only thing I wanted was for him to make love to me but it was maybe a good thing…no! it was surely good thing that he refused to do it as it wouldn't have been like the first time, filled with love and mutual trust. It would have been based on his basic need and want, Strigoi Dimitri was unable to love and I would have seen the difference. I'd rather kept the memory of our perfect first time burned in my mind forever.

"What then?" Tried Christian as he probably realized I was lost in my thought.

I shook my head trying to get rid of the stupid flashes in my head. "Well I spent about 10 days with him and no matter how close of Di…mitri he could be there was this coldness to him that was unmistakable of what he became" I said having some trouble to breathe.

Christian instinctively reached for my hand and held it tightly between his. It startled me and I could feel a faint wave of jealousy coming from Lissa. She was not jealous of the fact that we might become an item because she knew that it was out of the question for both of us. No, she was somehow shamefully jealous that we were sharing something special, a feeling that she would never understand. But she felt terrible guilty to feel jealous of a connection that had been created over loss and pain.

"But you see as we were chatting once, he idly reached for my ring on the night stand." I started to say but I stopped when I saw a flash of pure fury in Adrian's eyes, uneasiness on Eddies' face and Lissa's wonder. They probably thought I slept with Strigoi Dimitri. It never happened but it was not for lack of trying on my part. I just decided to ignore their assumptions as I effectively did far worse than that.

I shook my head. "Well as soon as he touched that ring, kept it in his hand well…I swear I saw the longing and warmth in his eyes, heard it in his voice. He was not my Dimitri exactly but he was close to it…so close it hurt." I said quickly glancing at Adrian and I felt guilty. How strange was that?

"Maybe…Maybe I was the subject matter. I mean…It's possible that the topic triggered a part of him that was, is still in him." Lissa shrugged slightly. She wanted to believe it, believe it with all her heart as she wanted nothing more than see me happy and it almost made me cry.

I looked at the four of them and sighed in defeat. Maybe Abe was right, maybe I needed to let that story in fairy tale land and concentrate on what was good in my life. I already lost Adrian now and it hurt bad, I couldn't lose anymore of my friends, I could not bare it and as mad as I was against Pavel he was right too. I could never take one of them down in my fall. Destroying my life, my future was one thing…I could live with that but destroying theirs? Putting their lives in danger? No that I couldn't.

I forced a small smile "yeah you're probably right" I finally conceded. "I just…I just wanted to believe it so much."

"I know…We know" said Lissa smiling but I could feel her heart break for me she desperately wanted to change subject.

Christian let go of my hand and Eddie stood up and started to talk to him about Christian's training sessions.

"Well guys it's time for me to go" said Adrian already at the door.

Lissa nodded I didn't know what he told them, what was the reason of his hasty departure but she didn't seem to think much of it.

"I'll see you soon." She said to him.

"You bet" he said with his usual playful grin but he couldn't fool me, as he said I knew him better than anyone else. I was the only one able to read through his pretence and that smile didn't reach his eyes.

The guys waived at him before concentrating on the training conversation again.

"You take care ok?" I asked looking deep into his eyes trying to show him how much I'd miss him.

"Ditto." He said with a small smile full of sorrow.

I didn't know why but I was on the brink of crying. It was like my encounter with Dimitri didn't make me stronger as I thought it would but as far as my heart was concerned I actually felt weaker. Maybe it was because I finally saw first hand what kind of crazy terrible things I was ready to do on the name of love, things I thought I'd never do.

"Oh you know the ring" said Lissa bringing me back to reality. "I think I got it but… but I wonder if your friend Oksana wouldn't mind just listen to me about it because I want to be sure I got it right before giving it to you…We never know" she said grimacing.

I chuckled. "Yeah we wouldn't me turning into a whimper would we?" I asked teasing. _I'm already so close to it _I added to myself. I knew that Oksana would be pleased to talk to Lissa and she even gave me her number in case any of us wanted to talk to her. I was actually happy that Lissa concentrated on her magic for now, it helped her deal with the whole Christian issue and that was good to take.

I took my cell out of my pocket and scribbled Oksana number on a piece of paper I took from one of Christian's notebook.

"You're going to pay for that right?" He asked teasing when he heard the scratching sound of the paper being ripped.

"Fine!" I said with overplayed exasperation. "I give you a free card, you can make a pass on Eddie."

Lissa burst into laugher taking the piece of paper from my hand.

"Ummmm no thanks" He said grimacing.

"Come on you could do worse!! I'm a good catch." Said Eddie pretending to be offended.

I shook my head genuinely smiling now. How could I even go on without them? They were my family as much as my mother and father. They were my brothers and sister.

"When do you think I could call her?" Asked Lissa and I could feel her excitation.

I did my best to hide my smile. "You can call her now you know it's early afternoon there."

"Really?" She asked and her exhilaration increased by the second.

"You go girl!" I said feeling like a full force dork to have said something like that. _Note to self, never used the 'you-go-girl' expression ever again. _

"I'll see you for dinner guys" she said almost running out making me laugh.

"What's up with her?" Asked Christian apparently quite pleased to see her that enthusiastic.

"Long story but I'm pretty sure we'll hear it at dinner." I said winking.

"Good" said Christian quickly glancing at the clock. "Well not that I want to kick you out Rose but…my students are waiting for me."

"Uh? Oh!! Yeah sorry!" I chuckled "I forgot."

"Eddie can you go meet them first and show them some moves I'll be over in 5 minutes." Asked Christian.

"Yep, I love torturing kids…" he said with an evil laugh. "I'll see you later Hathaway."

"Have fun Castille." I replied mimicking his tone.

Christian and I walked out slowly, I knew he wanted to say something but he just didn't know how to approach the subject. Christian Ozera could be mysterious but the small sidelong glances every 5 seconds kind of gave him away.

"Come on buddy, let it out." I said with a smile but it was slightly forced as I didn't know what to except.

"What had happened between you and Adrian?" Asked Christian finally. That was what I liked about him, he was always brutally honest, not taking gloves.

"He didn't take the 'Dimitri's still being around and me trying to save him' as well as you guys did" I said evasively.

"I see…." Said Christian pursing his lips. "Well who can blame him?" He added shrugging.

"Uh? I thought you would lynch him." I said knowing how Christian loved to pick on Adrian.

Christian shrugged again. "The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love someone else."

I looked at him astonished. "You think he actually loves me?"

"Don't you?" Asked Christian raising one eyebrow.

"He decided to let go, to move on and I think it's better for him." I said dismissively. "I owe him that much. He has every right to move on and he is right we shouldn't let the past repeat itself."

"But I know you care about him Rose" said Christian nicely "and…well letting go is one thing but the way we let go is what matters. You should tell him how you feel, what you think exactly ." He give me a small smile. "It will be better for your peace of mind and his too, believe me."

"He is gone now… It's too late anyways," I said starting to regret the fact that I let him walk away without a word.

Christian looked at his watch, "No you still have 10 minutes and the runway is this way" he said pointing ahead.

I didn't even notice walking beside him that we walked in the opposite direction of Christian's training and almost reached the end of campus.

"I…" I started.

"We'll talk later" said Christian nudging me. "Go now, explain yourself or you'll regret it."

"Thank you" I said starting to run as fast as I could to the runway hoping that his plane would not leave early.

I ran so fast that I had trouble breathing as I made it to the runway I could see that the plane was ready to go and the stewardess was about to close the door.

"Wait!!" I shouted running even faster or at least trying to.

The Moroi woman saw me but decided to ignore me. I barely made it and jumped to catch the door, opening it fully again.

"Hey Idiot what part of 'wait' don't you understand?!" I said breathless glaring at her while getting on the plane.

"Rose?!" Asked Adrian incredulous getting off his seat looking at me as if I had 2 heads.

I raised my finger asking a second trying to catch my breath. I could see that as hard as he tried he couldn't help to smile, my crazy side always made him laugh.

"Can you asked the mentally challenged deaf chica to give us 5 minutes?" I asked finally once I could breath more or less normally.

Adrian couldn't stop his smile to grow bigger. He just nodded her out.

She glared at me while leaving the room.

"Look at me like that once more and you won't look at anyone else anytime soon do you copy that?" I asked with a threatening tone.

She quickly looked down rushing out in the other room. I couldn't help to grin.

Adrian threw me a small bottle of water rolling his eyes. I drank eagerly.

"What do you want Rose?" He asked so distant that it wiped my smile away.

"I needed to talk to you before you left." I said serious now.

"I think everything has been said" he replied sitting back.

"You said it all but I didn't get the chance to speak. Don't worry I'll make it quick" I said playing with the bottle as I was nervous.

"I see" said Adrian playing with his glass of scotch, looking at the ice cubes rolling in his glass.

"I'm sorry… truly sorry" I said looking away too now. "It hurts me to hurt you because the truth is that I care about you…of course I do! I care about you a lot more than I should, a lot more than I want to but I know it's not enough. It's just enough to make us suffer and…" I took a deep breath as I could feel the tears starting to spring in my eyes. "I think you letting go is the best decision you could have taken."

I looked up and met his sharp eyes, they were darker now and he was trying to read through me.

"I know I didn't have time to cause irreparable damage to you and I feel grateful for that. I know you will be able to move on…" I gave him a small smile "you already did start while I was away with Avery and…"

Adrian blushed slightly. "Avery was not---"

I stopped him raising my hand. "No it's ok! I swear I'm almost done now. If she didn't turn out to be a totally crazy-psycho bitch you would have dated her and it would have been all good." I meant it, I realized I meant every word. "And I know… I know you'll meet a nice girl very soon and she is going to make you very very happy" I said not able to stop my voice from breaking. "And I'll be happy for you, truly happy."

Adrian opened his mouth to say something but I begged him with my eyes not to and he closed it with a sigh of resignation.

"I know you…I know you feel bad for leaving, like you are breaking a promise" I said cocking my head to the side. I knew Adrian inside out and he was always keeping his word.

Adrian shrugged slightly concentrating on his glass again, emptying it.

I looked at him while he poured himself another one.

"But you are not doing anything wrong. You are doing what is best, what you should do…what I should have done…What…What he should have done" I finally admitted out loud.

Adrian head shot up looking at me surprised.

I gave him a sad smile again. "Because you are right, of course you are right. I'm stuck in the moment and I can't get out and… and I'm battling with some imaginary windmill but I cannot win. Maybe, maybe it's just because if I let go I'll take the time to think and I'll realize all the mistakes I made." I said with a humorless laugh. "I guess that's... that's all."

"What are you going to do now?" he asked with clear worry in his voice.

I shrugged dismissively. "I think I'll try to stop fighting battles I can't win but I'll face it all and it will end soon" I smiled "by his death, mine or maybe both."

Adrian looked at me with begging eyes, I could see he was scared for me.

I walked to him and leaned down resting my shaking hands on each side of his face.

I looked deep into his eyes and did something I didn't plan to do. I leaned down even more and kissed him softly, almost carefully as if he was breakable. He kissed me back just as softly as I did.

"See I'm not drunk and I still enjoyed it" I whispered against his lips. "That was my goodbye. Take care and be happy." I said before rushing out of the plane not waiting for his reaction.

I was pretty sure I heard him shout my name but I was already far.

I quickly scanned Lissa's mind and located her in her room, so I ran there to meet with her.

She opened the door while still on the phone and the mars bar I saw on her desk made my stomach growl and I almost jumped on it as a staving predator.

I ate it in 3 bites and started to roam around the room for some more treats to eat.

I did find another candy bar and almost squealed with happiness.

I was chewing on half of it when Lissa hanged up.

"Really Rose? Dinner is in 15 minutes." She said chuckling.

"What do you want…When the woman is starving she is staving" I said mouth full and it was pretty much a miracle that she actually understood.

"Uh huh…" she shook her head. "Oh here!" she said giving me the ring. "I talked with Oksana, She is so sweet by the way."

"Yeah...Yes she is" I said remembering how she took care of me back in Novosibirsk, healing my body and marks of shame without judging. She only had kindness in her eyes.

"I invited her to come here for a little while you know, for the spirit study. She seemed…I don't know" Lissa shrugged. "Like she really wanted to come but also was slightly reluctant. I'm confusing you right?"

"No not really" I said as we left her room to go to the commons. "You see well she is married with a dhampir, a dhampir 12 years older than her" I added uncomfortable to talk about someone else's love life especially where age difference was involved.

Lissa eyes widened with surprised but she didn't say anything.

"So you see… They settled in the middle of nowhere, in a town where nobody would judge them." I grimaced slightly. "You surely can understand why she is reluctant to come here."

"Yeah I really do" said Lissa with a small laugh. "They can be so old fashioned sometimes" she said and I understood she talked about me and Dimitri as well as her and Christian.

"Rose!" I heard Adrian call just before entering the commons.

Lissa and I turned around simultaneously.

"I thought you left?" Asked Lissa surprised.

"Well… My flight got delayed because of some storm we _**REALLY**_ didn't see coming" he said trying to sound detached but I knew I was the 'storm.' "Rose I need to have a word with you."

"Okay I'll see you guys later." Said Lissa almost running away. She could feel the tension and wanted to escape…Traitor.

"I…" I started when Adrian reached for my wrist and led me to a quieter area without a word.

I could have stopped him easily but I knew that public would not stop him from making a scene if he really wanted to make one and his face right now didn't predict anything good so somewhere quiet seemed the best.

As soon as we made it about 50 yards into the small forest Adrian let go on my wrist and twirled around to face me.

"You had NO right to do that!" He said harshly pointing at me.

"What?! Do what?!" I asked completely lost. I thought I did a good thing by letting him go without guilt and he seemed mad.

"I mean really you thought you could come in the plane kiss me, tell me you cared about me and 'free me'" he said with quoting fingers "and you really thought I would let it slide?"

"Well yeah" I said looking around as he was talking a bit too loud for my liking. "I didn't want us to part like that. It was not right, not after everything we've been through".

"And throwing Avery to the face?!" He continued, "I mean yeah I liked her to some extent but still…that's harsh! She was never you for me and you know it!"

"I didn't throw Avery to your face!" I snapped and I was doing that, to some level, as I did feel tremendously jealous of her when he showed her this serious interest. It hurt me much more than I would have expected or wanted it to. "I was just telling you that you already started to lose your interest in me when I was away and it was the smartest move and I know you're going to find the perfect woman soon that's all." _Was it really? _I couldn't help to add to myself.

"But you said I was right. What did you mean by that?" He asked calmer apparently deciding to drop the Avery subject for now.

"There is a difference between dying for something you consider right or dying by pure stupidity. And…" I took a deep breath leaning against a tree. "It was completely insane to rush into that, almost impossible plan with so many variables." I shook my head. "But you also have to understand that, at the end of the day, I will get my redemption by granting Dimitri with his. By healing him or killing him but something has to be done, and I'm the one who has to do it. I owe him that much. And if you can't understand that well…you are not the man I thought you were." I added quietly.

Adrian looked at me thoughtful for a long moment, he then ran his hands in his hair as he did every time he was upset, mad or worried. "So explain to me Rose please…Explain me what did he do that's worth giving your life for his soul?" He asked and I didn't hear judgment or even sarcasm in his voice, only wonder.

"He taught me everything, he made me who I am." I said simply. "When he brought us back from Portland I thought I knew it all…" I shook my head and let out a humorless laugh. "What a stupid fool! He taught me about life, love, honor and duty. He…He showed me what real bravery was, how I couldn't always be right, how courage was not the absence of fear." I smiled fondly remembering. "He taught me that perfection didn't exist and that we just needed to be the best we could. And that as tough as you seem to be, nobody is invulnerable."

I looked at Adrian and I could see the pain in his eyes even if he was trying his best to hide it.

"Dimitri…Dimitri lent me his strength when I needed it and I lent him mine. He saw some part of me that nobody else's ever did. He understood that part of me that I'm not sure I even understood myself. He was…he just was." I added getting embarrassed. "So yeah I'll save his soul. It was what he valued the most, along with me, even if it is to the price of my life because it was not a real life before I met him."

Adrian nodded looking down putting his hands in his pockets.

I was about to apologize again even if I had no reason to but I felt like I had to for some peculiar reason but Adrian talked before giving me the chance.

"So if he was here you would want him to be safe right? To be happy?"

"Of course" I said like it was the stupidest questions I had ever heard… and it probably was. I told him to leave with Tasha for that reason.

"So you have to understand me too Rose. You taught me so much about love and life. I always took life lightly, always thinking about fun and partying until I met you. It was, and still is, the first time that someone became more important than my fun. You are the only person that can read through my pretense, reach this part of me that nobody else ever could. I am older than you, but in the 6 months I've known you, you taught me far more about my heart and soul than anyone else in the past 21 years so I guess…Well" he stopped looking away. "To help you understand I guess you can say that you are, to some extent, my _'Dimitri'_." he said finally looking at me again.

I looked at him mouth wide open, _I was his Dimitri? Really? No I couldn't be!_!

He sighed "I shouldn't have said that" he said and I could see he was cursing himself, like he knew I would take it badly.

"No…No it's all good" I said trying to sound at ease. "You should always tell me how you feel and …" I started to move from one foot to the other as I was uncomfortable.

Adrian detailed me apparently chagrined but I was not sure what it was about. Maybe by the fact that I didn't love him as much as he seemed to love me, maybe it was to realize how deeply ran the love I felt for Dimitri or even how I felt uncomfortable after he pulled his heart out for me…maybe it was a combination of all that.

My stomach rumbled again very loudly easing the tension.

"You should go and eat Rose, I know how irrational you become when you're hungry." Adrian chuckled. "I'm going away tomorrow but I'll be back." He said with a small smile.

I just nodded.

"But please while I'm away don't do anything stupid ok? Don't rush into anything. Be safe….for me." He said with so much urgency that it tightened my chest.

"I promise" I said looking up.

He gave me a small smile and kissed my forehead, letting his lips on it a bit longer than necessary.

He gently brushed my cheekbone with his thumb pad without a word just staring into my eyes for a couple of second before letting go and taking the direction of the path.

"You take care too ok?" I said to his retreating form.

"Always." He replied not even turning back taking the way of the guest pavilion.


	9. Chapter 9

**A.N: **Hey guy!!

Check out the new poll on my page. Thanks again to the one who reviewed and I really appreciate you guys being more tolerant about my grammar and stuff. You know i'm really trying my hardest =D

Well I really hope you'll enjoy reading this chapter I sure enjoyed writing the fight =D.

Enjoy and don't forget to review.

Hugsies.

Steffy.

**Chapter 9:**

When I woke up that morning, I stayed in bed for a little while looking at the ceiling. I didn't know what I wanted to do…burst into tears or broke someone's neck since what I was feeling was so intense. It was the kind of feelings that only a good cry or a good fight could ease.

It had been almost a week since I last dreamt of Dimitri and like a reminder I dreamt of him last night and that one was brutal! It was not like the dreams I had since I came back. Usually Dimitri was frightening, threatening…a Strigoi, but last night was completely different, a new type of dream that I hope I never have again.

In that dream, I was lying in bed, when the alarm clock started to beep annoyingly. As I started to emerge, I felt a manly arm tighten around my waist and I couldn't help but smile.

I moved slightly to snuggle closer in the warm body beside me.

"Hey" I said with a sleepy voice.

The man beside me started to kiss my neck making me moan.

"Hello beautiful" he said against my neck and it was not Dimitri like it had been so many time before. No, it was Adrian.

I slightly turned in his embrace to face him. I brought my hand to his cheek brushing it lovingly. I was thinking on how much I loved him, how he healed my heart and that, even if it was just an echo of the love I had been able to give, I was still in love with him and in his eyes there was only joy and love. I was making him happy and he brought me peace and love…What else could I have asked for?

I closed my eyes again with a small smile on my lips.

"No no my lil'dhampir we don't have time to go back to sleep" said Adrian with a small laugh.

"I thought you liked being in bed with me" I said eyes still closed.

"You know I do, if it was up to me we would never leave that bed but Lissa is graduating today…She needs you there. It's not everyday you graduate from University." He added kissing the tip of my nose.

I nodded giving up. I opened my eyes, kissed him hard before getting out of bed.

"I'm taking care of the coffee" I said to him before getting out of the room leading into a very massive, luxury living room.

I was about to reach for the kitchen door when a voice behind me startled me.

"Really Rose…That's the life you want to lead?" Said a deep voice that I would probably recognize till my last breath.

I swirled around briskly and my heart jumped in my chest because it was not the strigoi version of the man I loved with every fiber of my being that was standing in front of me no, it was the real him!

"Dim...Dimitri? I…How…" I looked around but Adrian was nowhere to be found. I looked back into his deep chocolate eyes, his perfectly tanned skin. It was really him.

"Honestly Rose I'm really disappointed in you." He said standing straight about 10 feet from me.

Those words hurt me so deep, much more than anything else. "But why?" I let out in a cry.

"Is that the life you want to lead? Really?" He said gesturing around. "I mean…." He took a picture frame on the coffee table and showed it to me.

On the picture, I was standing in my graduation gown, diploma in hand. Adrian was behind me with his arms wrapped around me possessively. He was leaning down resting his chin on my shoulder, his cheek brushing mine. He was smiling brightly and his eyes were full of pride. I was smiling too and I had my empty hand resting on his arms around me but there was some sadness deep in my eyes. A sadness that was probably still there now.

"That's precious!" he said sarcastically.

"It's---" I started.

"Let me guess…Not what I think? Complicated? What you had to do?" He said with a playful smile. "I mean Rose explain me what made you give up your life as a guardian to become Adrian Ivashkov fiancée?" He asked pointing to my left hand.

I looked down and saw the completely insanely huge diamond on my ring finger, my silk pajamas, and all the pictures of Adrian and I in different places.

"Is it why you broke your promise to me Rose? Is he the reason why you let me down?" He asked and I could hear both accusation and sadness in his voice. "I thought we were special, that you loved me and…and you moved on."

"No I---"

Dimitri closed the distance between us in a second and put his hands on my shoulders to make me face the full size mirror on the wall. I looked to us and couldn't help but gasp when I locked eyes with his reflection. The Dimitri beside me was the real one, warm, tanned, alive but the one in the mirror was sickeningly white, the eyes cold and ringed with red…it was the Strigoi version of Dimitri.

"Do you think I wanted to be like that?" He asked still facing the mirror. "Honestly Rose you promised me! And now you're letting me wander the world like that!" He said pointing to his reflection. "How could you do that? How could you let me down? I'm…I'm like that because of you Rose if we didn't go to rescue them, I'd still be here."

Tears started to fall down my cheeks, "It's not happening, I'm...I'm just dreaming". I said as an excuse.

"No it didn't happen yet but it will…Sooner than you think. Don't you see it? It already started." He said this time turning me around so I could face the _'real' _Dimitri. "Your will is already wavering isn't it? I thought you were brave…" He took a deep breath. "I love you Rose please…please save me. I need to find peace, to have my redemption." He added and there was pure pain in his eyes.

That was when I woke up, feeling angry, guilty, sad, ashamed and most of all I felt like I was betraying my one love. Yeah I needed a good fight as I didn't want to cry anymore, I cried enough and it was not me. I was tough, not a wimp.

I quickly jumped out of bed, changed into my sweats and training shirt, tightened my hair into a high ponytail, splashed some cold water on my face to wash off the reminder of that torturing dream and rushed to the gym.

I was always happy to train so it was the one hour when I truly felt in peace with myself. I didn't think while fighting and it was good. Today I literally considered training as a blessing since I needed it more than ever before.

"Well how lucky I am!! Miss Hathaway honored me with her presence today" said Stan with a snort as I walked into the gym. "That's already better than yesterday!"

I rolled my eyes with exasperation. I was very _**very**_ touchy today already and Stan Alto would be a real challenge.

"Good morning to you too guardian Alto." I said going to stand at the center of the training mat. I decided, for the first time in my life, not to fuel the fire.

"So you're not drunk today?" He asked coming to stand in front of me. "Old habits die hard I see?" He added with clear reprobation in the voice. "I knew people like you couldn't change" he added so smug it took all the self control I had left not to jump on him.

"What's your twig with me Alto? Bad time of the month?" I asked with my sarcastic grin meaning _'screw-you' _in Rose Hathaway language.

"You are just a waste of time." He said taking an attacking stance.

"I see…your problem is jealousy" I said as we started to circle each other. "Tell me _Stan, _How does it feel to know that I'm better in my bad days than you in your best?"

Stan snorted. "You had potential but you keep wasting it with your attitude…" He shook his head. "They see you as a little hero now but they'll figure out you're phony soon enough. Belikov would be so disappointed in you."

I was pretty sure that pure fury crossed my face at this instant. It hurt bad!! Probably since Dimitri said exactly the same thing in my dream. It hit home.

I tried my best not to show him to what extent his words touched me but he was going to pay for it and I swore to myself that he was going to feel it.

I forced a laugh. "Say the guy who is 30 and only has 1 _molnija_! Was it a natural death? Did the Strigoi actually killed himself because he was tired to hear you talk? Well…You know what we say don't you? The one who can't do, teach."

I saw the anger increase on his face and knew I touched his soft spot.

"You know what, I give you a freebie" I winked. "Let's fight, really fight! No rules… no limits. If one of us say _'enough'_ he loses. Deal?" I asked with a teasing tone.

I could see incertitude on his face. I knew he was tempted but he was not that hot to go against school policy.

"Come on…it will be a secret I won't tell anyone." I said still circling him. "Unless…Unless you know I'm going to annihilate you and you're too chicken to have it proven fair and square."

Stan laughed. "Ok but don't go crying when I'll break bones novice" he said with an malicious smile. "You want to play? Let's play!"

"Is that what you said to your mom last night?" I had the time to ask before he launched at me.

I dodged him quite easily punching his left side making him wince.

"Come on dude make it believable, it's like fighting with a cripple " I said laughing.

He tried a sidekick but I blocked it with my forearm. It was harder than I thought and I stumbled a bit. I would have an ugly bruise in the morning.

He didn't manage to avoid my next punch and he grimaced under the pain as I was pretty sure I partially dislocated his jaw.

He automatically replicated with an uppercut in the stomach. It was hard enough to take my breath away but I was too proud to let him see the pain. I already got beaten up a lot more than that in my life… unfortunately.

"You hit like a girl!" I said as we started circle each other again.

"Yeah well I'm giving what you can take….Seeing the shame you are to Belikov's training" he said obnoxiously.

"Say the guy that nobody want as a guardian so he sucks." I said with a light bow. "I'm getting bored Alto, I think I'll go fight with a preschooler, I'll get more action."

Stan launched again but I twirled on myself so I faced his back and pushed him like a kid in the sandbox. I knew it was petty but I wanted to humiliate him since he was trying to humiliate me by denigrating my whole training with Dimitri.

I was too full of myself and didn't expect him to get his balance back that fast. I only had the time to see his fist connect with my nose and heard the sickening crack.

The blood started to flow and that's when I really lost it. I just blocked the pain, and as he probably didn't expect me to continue fighting with a broken nose and blood all over me, he fell backward very easily when I jumped on him.

I started to punch him over and over again. He maybe called quit I didn't know but I only stopped hitting him when a strong hand pulled me away.

"Are you two crazy?!" Shouted Pavel astonished.

Well I could imagine the picture. Stan was half undress, his brown hair a real mess, a cut lip, a purple mark on the left side of his jaw and a brand new black eye.

I probably didn't look much better. My shirt was ripped and covered in blood, my hair was half down and even if my nose was not bleeding that much I was pretty sure I could run for '_Miss Psycho._'

Stan and I just looked at Pavel without a word. How could we justify ourselves?

"I…" He shook his head. "You're a guardian for god sakes!" Said Pavel to Stan.

"It was my fault" I said trying to stand up. Stan was a dick yeah but a good teacher. I pushed him over the edge, I wanted us to fight.

Pavel looked at me with pursed lips. "Mr. Mazur wants to see you" he said reaching for my hand to help me up.

I ignored his outreached hand and winced standing up.

Pavel sighed with exasperation letting his hand fall to his side. He took the towel on the floor and threw it to me so i could wipe my face.

"He wants to see you now." He added reaching for my gym bag on the floor.

I nodded to him, threw a quick look at Stan who was still breathless on the floor. I could see some blood dripping from the arch of his eyebrow.

_Man we really went far didn't we? _I asked myself silently walking outside.

"We…We can't let your father see you like that." Said Pavel matter of factly. "He'll go crazy and believe me I wouldn't want to be Alto if he ever found out."

I groaned with both annoyance and pain. "Let me just find Lissa then, she will heal that in no time…I hope I can just avoid the full interrogatory."

I quickly scanned Lissa's mind and was startled to find her in Adrian's room. What the hell what she doing there so early? What the heck was Adrian up to? It was like a miracle to have him up by lunchtime so now? An hour before class? It was total science fiction and I didn't like that.

"I guess I've got my answer" grumbled Pavel beside me.

"Uh?" I asked coming back to reality. "Sorry I was trying to locate Lissa. What did you say?"

"I asked you if you wouldn't mind telling me what happened in there?" He asked walking by my side mostly following my lead. "Why did you guys fight?"

I snorted. Even if I wanted to confide in someone Pavel would be at the bottom of the list. "Oh so they don't introduce you to each other once you joined the club?" I asked evasively.

"The club?"

"Yeah I thought that each new member of the_ 'I-hate-Rose-Hathaway' _club was introduced to the others." I laughed hiding my discomfort. "Stan Alto is a pretty active member, he has been for years!!"

Pavel stopped to look at me, I was sure I looked drop dead gorgeous with my broken nose, swollen lip and dried blood all over my face and shirt.

"You have many members here on school ground but it would take hours to give you every name. I think Adrian Ivashkov might join it very soon but wait for it" I said with an overplayed cheerful tone. "You'll never guess who is the president of the club! Queen bitch herself yes sir!! Well wait it's Queen Tatiana for you I guess" I said with my wide sarcastic and sufficient smile.

I couldn't say what he was thinking staring down at me with his damn sunglasses.

"I don't hate you Hathaway" he finally let out.

I shrugged dismissively. "It doesn't matter anyways." I said walking a bit faster to reach the guest building.

"No I mean it! I don't hate you and what I said to you in the plane was out of line" he said with a tone that seemed sincere enough. "I just…Well sometime I get a bit--"

"It was totally right, every word was true, I was just too foolish to see it" I said opening the door of the building.

"I---" He started again.

"Let's drop it k? I swore Abe would never find out and he never will."

"It's not for that I'm apologizing." He insisted.

"Honestly dude whatever." I said reaching Adrian's floor. "I truly don't give a shit about what you think" I added walking my back at him hoping he wouldn't see through my pretense, and figured that his words touched me far more than I wanted them to.

I knocked at Adrian's door and when he opened he paled at least 2 shades on his already ultra white skin…Boy I surely looked hideous!

I chuckled trying to ease the anxiety in his eyes. "Don't worry buddy, it looks worse than it is. I just need a quick healing and…" I looked down at my shirt "and maybe you can lend me one of your shirt" I grimaced. "I'll send it back to the Court no worries."

Adrian narrowed his eyes in suspicion letting me in closely followed by Pavel.

"Lissa I need you !!" I said trying to sound as teasing as I could.

Lissa looked at me shocked for a second.

"Training" I said with a little guilty smile.

She chortled rolling her eyes, not suspecting much more. Well it was not like I didn't end up hurt before.

"Is that so?" Asked Adrian to Pavel. He was looking at him coldly like if he was investigating.

Pavel looked at me for a second and nodded. "Yeah I came in the room without warning while they were training. She was doing some figure on the bench she lost her concentration and fell flat on her face."

"Uh huh" said Adrian clearly not convinced but I couldn't comment as Lissa was healing my lip now.

Lissa was done within minutes.

"Thanks" I said kissing her forehead.

"Anytime" she said smiling apparently relieved to be useful to me which was totally insane if only she knew how useful she was every minute of every day for my broken heart.

"There is a shirt for you in the bathroom" said Adrian still eyeing me suspiciously.

I almost snapped at him that he was not my mother but it was not worth it. I just took a deep breath and walked to the bathroom.

I removed my shirt and threw it in the bin. I washed my face to remove the dry blood, put Adrian shirt that looked more like a summer dress on me than a shirt. I tried to put some order in my hair and tighten it in a ponytail.

"Well thanks guys" I said to Lissa and Adrian still super curious on why she was there but I guessed I would find out later on. Adrian was now relocking his suitcase as he probably opened it to give me the shirt.

I hugged Lissa whispering to her ear that she needed to find Stan and heal him too.

"_Stan did this to you?" _she asked directly in my mind.

I smiled guiltily to her before locking eyes with Adrian. I knew at this instant that if I asked him to stay he would and things would change but I wouldn't ask him to stay, not today not ever. Dimitri did have a point in my dream, I was losing my way.

Pavel nodded to them before leading me out down to Abe's room.

I was getting uncomfortable as we got closer, I really wondered why he wanted to see me that early in the day.

As soon as I walked in I saw Abe fully dressed ready to go.

_Are they all leaving me? _I asked to myself stupidly. They all had lives and it was just naïve to expect anything more. But still it was only 3 days since he came.

"Are you leaving? Why so soon?" I asked him trying to sound as detached as I could.

"I have some business to attend" he said dismissively. "Life continues you know."

I give him a tired laugh. "Yeah I know. Well it was nice to meet you" I said with a smile. "You take care ok?"

"We'll see each other again _Kazim_" he smiled. "It's not the end of it, just the beginning."

"I guess" I said starting to look around his room as I was getting a bit uncomfortable with the building intimacy of the moment. "But don't worry about me. I've been foolish and reckless enough for a lifetime. I won't look for trouble." I said doing my best not to add that trouble was stalking me anyways and that even if I stayed here my personal living nightmare was going to find me.

"I see…'' Said Abe raising an eyebrow. I could see the worry cross his face.

"I'm not crazy you know" I said standing straighter "Maybe a little impaired right now but I will get back to how I used to be eventually." I was not sure it was a good thing myself and I knew well enough that I would never be the fearless Rose i once were. All those things were changing me and I would never be the girl I used to be.

Abe pursed his lips thoughtful probably trying to read my face. He then gave me an half smile but frowned detailing my clothes.

"Do I even want to know?" Asked Abe pointing to the way I was dressed.

I looked down and saw some faint drops of blood on my sweat pant and it was clear that the navy blue shirt I was wearing was not mine for many obvious reasons as it was a Ralph Lauren man polo stopping just above my knees which would be very hazardous for a fight.

"No, not really." I said sincerely.

Abe shot a quick gaze to Pavel who shrugged.

"But…'' I bite my bottom lip not sure on how to say things without sounding like a brat. "Why did you want to see me?"

Abe jerked back a little before bursting into laugher. "I really do enjoy your candor you know that?" He shook his head still having a smile on his face. "I wanted to tell you goodbye and tell you that I'm not abandoning your or anything. We'll see each other again…soon" he added.

And being the damaged girl I was I only managed an '_ok cool'_.

Abe smile progressively swept away. "And you really need to take care of yourself Rose, follow the right path, the one that is set in front of you don't…don't sway." He said the voice urgent yet not commanding. It was far more a prayer than an order and it was the only thing that really stopped me from snapping at him.

"Your friends…your mother as more fragile than they seem to be. You have to be prudent for them." He added walking to me resting his hands on my shoulders.

I looked up to meet his eyes that were the exact same shade than mine and nodded.

Afterward he did something that I never saw coming, he bent down and kissed my forehead. "You have to be safe for me" he added in a whisper.

That brought tears in my eyes. I never _**EVER**_ imagined that Abe could be affectionate too, and that kiss brought some fatherly love in my life. And I needed it!! Needed it so much, I realized that now that I found him…or rather he found me, whatever. I hoped he would be a part of my life forever, whatever small that part might be.

"I'll do my best" I said with a small smile reaching up to squeeze the hand that what on my shoulder.

He nodded resigned and reached for a paper on the table. "This is my private cell number, only few people have it." He said giving it to me. "Call me if you need anything or if you…just want to talk" he said and I could see he was as uncomfortable in his new father role than I was in my daughter's one.

"Thank you" I said reaching up giving him an awkward hug. "I'll see you soon."

"Of course" he said with his trademark grin. His phone started to vibrate on the coffee table and as he reached for it I realized the moment was over. It was better anyways because I only had 30 minutes left before class and I needed to shower, change and grab something to eat.

I still took a few minutes to talk to Pavel.

"You take care of him ok?" I asked in a hiss. "If anything happens to him I swear to God that I'll hunt you down and kill you with my bare hands" I said glaring trying to sound as threatening as I could.

I expected Pavel to snap at me, getting on his high horse, but he just smiled taking off his sunglasses to look me in the eyes. Looking at his eyes was as surprising the second time around but I tried to keep my face blank.

"I swear on my life and honor that I'll do anything in my power to keep him safe Rose." He said seriously.

"Good" I said surprised that he called me Rose. I walked to the door but turned around just before opening it. "And for your eyes, you shouldn't hide them. They are not freaky…they are beautiful." I added and couldn't help but chuckle when I saw the shock cross his face.

"Bye" I said before running back to the dorm. My first class was bodyguard technique and after missing it yesterday I was sure to get my ass kicked if I showed up even 2 minutes late.


	10. Chapter 10

**A.N: **Hey guys!

I don't have much to say today except that I posted a new poll on my page ( Am I really only 1 of 2 people which consider frostbite as her favorite of the series? I mean it's the only book that end up with a quite Ok Rose/Dimitri lol)

Also I posted a new story called '_Second Chances' _but don't worry it won't affect this story as the other one will only be updated every so often ( it will be a series of One-shots.).

Anyways Thanks to my fantastic faithful reviewers this story is going on because of you.

You guys rock!!

Steffy =D

**Chapter 9: **

It has been 5 days now that both Adrian and Abe left me and I couldn't help to see that had become a pattern in my life. Every man I cared about always left me in a way or another. Mason, Dimitri, Adrian and now Abe….

I sighed and sat on my bed. Well to be fair the two last ones told me they would be back eventually but, except a quick call from Abe three days ago to check on me, it has been complete silence and even if it angered me to recognize it Adrian silence was hurting far more than expected. It was probably because everything was changing so much around me that I wanted so much to have some constancy in my life or maybe it was because I loved the way I could see myself through his eyes. I was hurt because he didn't even visit my dreams…not even once!! So much for loving me.

I had a chat about Abe being my father with Lissa but honestly there were not much to be said about it. I didn't know much myself and the details I gathered during my spying and close studying of my mother and him while they were talking was not something that needed to be shared with Lissa, it was much more relevant to my mom and father youth than anything else.

I was still waiting on Christian to comment on it, but he didn't yet, maybe because he realized that it hurt me to see both Abe and Adrian leave me. Christian seemed to be so receptive to me, a lot more than he used to…actually a lot more than anybody else. Maybe all the terrible memories and experiences we shared finally connected us on such a deep level that we could recognize the pain and anguish hidden in each other more than anyone else's could.

Moreover Lissa was very excited over the last two days because Oksana, very much to my surprise, accepted Lissa's invitation to come to help her…us with the Spirit. She arrived in the morning and, even if I was happy to see her and Mark, I couldn't help but feel a little stabbing pain in my chest as they recalled me, not that I forgot anyways, of my time in Russia.

In addition to that unwanted trip down memory lane, Oksana had a little package for me, a package from the Belikovs' and, as she handed it to me, I had felt Lissa's pain for me, it really didn't help to deal with my own pain. We decided to meet again tomorrow since, as charming as they were, we could see that they were both dead tired…Well, I knew that dealing with a 13 hours time difference was giving you one bitch of a jet lag.

I instinctively looked at my desk now where the package was resting unopened and kept my eyes on it like I had a super X ray vision.

_You're not superman….You can't save anyone, you can't even save yourself _I said to myself now looking at the alarm clock. It was only 40 minutes from curfew… Too late to go and run laps.

I could see it would be one of those nights, the one were I stayed awake thinking about things I shouldn't think about, reliving moments that was making my heart break every time. I needed to get tired, so tired I would fall to sleep and the best way I knew how was to run…run till my muscles hurt, run till I was too tired that I felt my brain was in a haze, Run… Run like my life was depending on it, and in some ways it was true...well at least as far as my sanity was concerned.

"Fuck curfew!" I said jumped out of my jeans putting my sweats and tightening my trainers.

I quickly looked at the package again and shook my head. I was not ready to open it and I knew it.

I turned to leave when I heard a quick knock at my door. I frowned and quickly glanced at the alarm clock again. So close to curfew it had to be a guardian.

I opened the door to someone I didn't expect.

"I'm in." Said Christian with a sure voice walking into my room before I even invited him in.

"Please come in" I said sarcastically closing the door.

Christian was standing by my desk looking down to the package thoughtful.

"So…"

"I'm in" he said turning around looking at me with a determined expression.

"I see!" I said not really knowing where he was going. "I told you the pony club would accept you after all… you just needed to believe" I added with a grin.

Christian rolled his eyes but couldn't help to smile too. "No I mean whatever crazy plan you are putting together, I'm in. Even…even if it's helping the crazy psycho to escape" he added sitting on my bed.

"I…what?!" I asked completely dumbfounded sitting beside him. "Do you know how insane this sounds?" I asked looking deep into his eyes trying to figure out if he was drugged or drunk or even possessed…Yeah I watched _Supernatural_ the night before.

"I've got a pretty good idea yeah," He said a smile playing on his lips "but I know that, whatever the plan might be, you will not be able to do it on your own and well…" he pointed to his chest.

I shook my head and stood up.

"I… I'm not working on any plans really" I said sincerely as I was so lost at the time being and I knew that whatever the decision I would take it would have its consequences. Everything came with a price right? "And even if I did…which I'm not" I specified again, "it would be insane to mix you up in that I mean…Come on it would be dangerous and it could ruin your future."

"Yeah!! I mean my reputation in the Moroi world is so stellar already…oh no wait…" He said pretending to think, "that's not me! I'm the Strigoi wannabe remember? The doggy poop stuck under Lissa golden shoe." He added not bitter, it was just like he was stating a fact. He knew perfectly that he was the black sheep of the Moroi world and he couldn't care less.

"I…" I bit my bottom lip.

"And what a great addition to my 'crazy black sheep' resume: Accomplice of baby mobster!!" He said with his goofy grin.

I looked at him rolling my eyes but I couldn't laugh as I didn't want him to get hurt, not because of me.

"Listen" he walked to me, resting his hands on my shoulders. "I'm not saying that you already have it all figured out but I know you will soon enough and you can't do it alone… whatever it is."

I wanted to say something but he cover my mouth wit his hand.

"Don't be so proud Rose, pride only bring disgrace, humility can sometime be life saving. Nobody ever chocked swallowing their pride. You'll need help and I'm offering it so please consider it." He added urgently.

I nodded as he was right. The time would come when I'd need someone and lets face it Christian was the only one that was more an asset than a weight.

"K I need to get out before the matron annoys me because I'll have the obligation to set her ass on fire well… it's probably the only way she has to get hot anyways." He added with a grin.

I threw him a reprobating glance but smiled, Christian was really becoming my best friend and that's something I would have never EVER imagined.

Once he opened the door he turned around and pointed to my desk. "No matter how long you are going to wait to open the box it will hurt just the same."

I turned round and looked at the box too, he was right…of course he was right.

I sighed and opened the box with shaky hands.

As soon as I opened it, I saw a grey knitted piece of fabric. I took it out and unfolded it carefully it was a nice cardigan. A piece of paper was folded in it. It was a letter written by Olena.

_Dear Rose, _

_I hope things are getting better for you back home, back to your friends…the people you always knew. You need the constancy in your life now more than ever. _

_I hope you'll liked the cardigan I knitted for you. It's the exact same than the one Viktoria had and that you liked so much. I also sent you the black knitted scarf that was Dimka's favorite, I know that nobody could appreciate it or take care of it the way that you will. _

_Yeva and Abe explained us that you had to leave and we understand believe me._

_Just know that we love you and that you'll always have a home here in Baia. You are welcome home whenever you want to. _

_Oh by the way Sonya had the baby it's a little girl She was named after you and Dimitri, her name is Dimka Roza Belikova._ (**A.N:** Before you can say anything i know a Russian girl whose first name is Dimka, it's not that uncommon =D)

_Take care of you_

_Love, _

_Olena. _

My eyes filled up with tears as I took the very soft warm scarf out of the package. On the bottom left, there were little initials embroidered '_D.B.' . _I wrapped the scarf around my neck and breathed hard.

"Dimitri" I whispered in it, eyes closed.

I folded the scarf and cardigan very carefully and looked what was left in the box. There was an envelope with my name and I could easily recognize Viktoria writing.

I hesitated for a little while, I was already pretty emotional after reading Olena's letter and I didn't know if I really wanted to know what Viktoria had to say since we didn't really ended things as BFFs.

I sighed. Well I had to do it eventually.

"Wow…" I whispered looking at the letter. Olena had such a neat, clear writing but it was clear that Viktoria didn't inherit it. It was not as bad as Adrian's hieroglyphic writing but it was pretty close.

I squinted my eyes trying to read it.

_Rose, _

_I was not sure you ever wanted to hear from me again not after…not after the horrible things I said to you. I'm mortified just rethinking about it. How could I ever say those things to you? I'm so sorry Rose! Please forgive me. 'Sorry' actually doesn't even beginning to express how bad I feel. _

_You were right, you were right all along! Rolland was just a filthy little … But I refused to see it and all you did was looking out for me, trying to protect me just like Dimka would have, and I said all these mean things I didn't even mean because of course I see you as a sister!! And how could I even say you were jealous?! After you told me what you and Dimka shared it's just…unforgivable I know that. I would not blame you if you didn't want to have anything to do with me again but Yeva…Yeva told me I should write to you since you have a big heart and if anyone could understand words said out of anger it was you._

I looked up, the old witch thought I had a big heart? Well I didn't see that one coming I really thought she was about to join the _'I-hate-rose' _club, apparently I was wrong.

_Anyways life at school is going fine, I can't wait to start junior year to really get into bodyguard training I wish I could fight like you. Dennis told everything to Nikolai, apparently you really are one of a kind (not that I ever doubted that)._

_Yeva asked me to give you a message and I quote ( I don't get it myself but I wouldn't hear the end of it if I didn't do it) Here it goes: "Every tale has a part of truth in it, don't let go of a path because the others think it won't lead you anywhere. Sometime bravery is to take the road to nowhere. Follow your intuition for the ultimate gift…his Soul" Whatever that means._

_I hope you forgive me Rose because despite what I could have said you truly are a sister to me, maybe we didn't spend that much time together but you took a place in our hearts and in our lives. _

_Well I look forward to hear from you but as I said before I would totally understand If you didn't want to have anything to do with me anymore. _

_Xoxo_

_Vik,_

She gave me her email address. It was too late for me to write back, I was tired but I would do it first thing in the morning. I couldn't stay mad at her, I knew only too well what having a temper made you do or say sometime.

As I laid on top of the cover, Yeva words replayed in my head over and over again _'Every tale has a part of truth in it, don't let go of a path because the others think it won't lead you anywhere. Sometime bravery is to take the road to nowhere. Follow your intuition for the ultimate gift…his Soul" _

What did she mean? This message and my Dimitri dreams made things pretty clear, there was a way to save his soul and I needed to find it. Rhonda did tell me that I was going to destroy what was undead, not 'killed' but 'destroy'. If I did made the reversion of the Strigoi state real and widely known we could get back the people we love…make Strigoi number drop and increasing ours in the same time.

What did Victor say…His brother was in the land of kielland or something like that whatever that meant.

I yawned loudly. It would have to wait till tomorrow to do the research. Tomorrow was going to be a long emotional day and I needed all the rest I could get.

I was still a bit confused in the morning but thank god Lissa did almost all the talking as she was overly excited with Oksana being around, and to be honest, I was rather pleased too. Maybe Mark could tell me a bit more about the abilities that us, shadow kissed, had. Maybe there was something I could use in my attempt to save Dimitri's soul maybe… maybe Mark did try to get in the black hole i saw in the plane.

We planned to meet in one of the guest lounge after class to discuss the whole bound issue just the four of us so Lissa left before the end of breakfast to make sure we could have a lounge in the afternoon.

As we left the commons I caught Christian's hand.

"I accept your offer." I said to him in a hush tone.

"I'm glad you did" he said grinning. "We're going to have so much fun together."

"It's serious Chris...It can destroy us. It's…it's non sense!" I added shaking my head regretting to have said I wanted him in.

"Hey hey… chill Rose" he said tightening his grip on my hand causing some curious looks from the other students, Eddie included.

I got out of his grip and crossed my arms on my chest.

"You told me you got some hints on where that Robert dude might be well…" he shrugged. "Maybe we can try to research first, try to come up with a viable plan then maybe... And _only_ maybe we would act."

I wanted to hug him, to thank him to be such a good friend but people would get the wrong idea and I really didn't need more things said about me.

I pulled Christian aside against the wall. "Victor told me that that his brother was in the land of kielland or kiellan or something like that."

"Kielland…kiellan…" whispered Christian thoughtful.

I quickly looked at the clock on the wall, we still had 10 minutes before classes started.

"Kielland like in Alexander Kielland the author?" Asked Christian

I gave him my best _'dude-what-the-fuck'_ face. "You are honestly asking me? I mean really?"

Christian chuckled and shook his head. "He was a very famous Norwegian author" he specified.

"Good for him! but if that's true Robert would be in Norway and that sucks ass because it's a big country I mean like what …100,000 square miles or something." I said loosing hope. It would be impossible to find a man in such a big country.

"Well…148,746 to be exact" said Christian dismissively.

"You really are a brainiac aren't you?" I asked somehow impressed "or only an encyclopedia of random useless facts?"

"A bit of both I think" he said sticking his tongue out. "I have a free period before lunch, I'll check if there is something else that come out with your Kielland or Kiellan that can be known of psycho Dashkov of course."

"Thank you Chris." I said sincerely as we resumed to walk.

"That's what fighting partners are here for" he said elbowing me playfully. "See you later Hathaway" he added taking the corridor on the left.

"You can count on it Ozera" I said back, walking into my own personal hell…Calculus.

The day went fast and I actually was happy to meet with Oksana and Mark tonight even if it would stir that part of me I wanted to forget.

Christian did find out that the only Kielland that made sense was the author he thought of earlier and it made me slightly sullen as now I was sure, only Victor could help me out. He perfectly knew that even with his clue I would not go anywhere…_Evil son of a bitch!_

I wrote a quick email to Viktoria during my free period telling her that I wasn't mad anymore and I asked her to thank her mother for the sweet presents and Yeva for...for being well....for being Yeva i guess.

At the end of the day, I was rushing to the guest pavilion, when I literally ran into someone.

"I'm sorry" I said quickly looking up my smile fading away.

"That's alright my little dhampir, I like when you and I collide." He said with a wide grin.

I looked at him lips pursed. I had no right to be angry at him for not giving me any news in his 6 days away. I couldn't say anything...I was not entitled to.

"Why did you come back?" I asked and realized the answer while I was asking the question. "Lissa told you for Oksana?"

He nodded and my heart sank. I was so selfish, I wanted him to want me, to love me even if I couldn't give him as much love.

"Well see you around" I said trying to dodge him.

He caught my arm. "What's up with you Rose?" He asked moving quickly to stand in front of me again.

"Nothing's wrong Adrian" I said wearily. "Nothing at all…"

"I know you better than that" he said proudly. "You can maybe fool the others but you can't fool me."

I snorted "yea right! Well if you knew me that well you…" I sighed and shook my head.

"Rose?" a deep manly voice called.

"Mark!!" I said with clear pleasure to get away from Adrian scrutinizing eyes.

"I was wondering…" Mark quickly look at Adrian. "Maybe we could have a little talk just the two of us."

"Of course!" I said jumping on the occasion. "Lets go." I said standing beside him. "See you" I added to Adrian's attention.

He narrowed his eyes slightly. "You bet."

"I was not interrupting anything right?" Asked Mark giving me a sidelong glance.

"Not something I wasn't grateful for you to interrupt" I said sincerely.

He chuckled. "Moroi/dhampir relationships can be hard… I know" he said with a smile.

"Yeah…" I trailed off.

"I was thinking we could give the Spirit users some alone time and spend some time together, two shadow-kissed."

"That's a great idea" I said actually rather pleased as there was so many things I needed to know. "I needed to talk to you actually."

It would be a corner stone of my plan, one of the building stone.


	11. Chapter 11

**A.N:** Hey guys!!

Thanks for the reviews. I hope you are going to like this chapter. Oh by the way did you guy read _The Hunger Games_?? OMG I absolutely adored it! I couldn't put it down so I ran to the shop to buy _Catching Fire _this morning.

Anyways in the poll _Shadow kiss_ is winning.

Don't forget to review you know I love reading you guys.

Take care

Steffy =D

**Chapter 11:**

"Well maybe you all share the same basics but you have a special gift more developed than the others." I twisted my mouth thinking "like a specialization in the specialization."

The three Spirit users looked at me with wide eyes. It has been three days since Oksana arrived and I spent most of my alone time with Mark Christian and Eddie, dutifully avoiding Adrian, especially never getting alone with him.

I was actually getting pretty good at dodging him and I could see it was getting on his last nerve. I knew I was being childish but I couldn't help it.

As for Mark he was pleased to share his knowledge with me but each time I tried to talk about spirits, he was closing himself like an oyster.

"What…What did you say?" Asked Lissa still looking at me like I was an Alien.

"Well…" I shrugged looking at Mark who was sat beside Oksana. "You are all super good at compulsion, seeing Auras and stuff but Lissa is really a master at healing even if you two can do it of course but she put way less effort than you into it. You Oksana you can visit people mind and do many cool trick but Lissa and Adrian can barely graze thoughts." _And thank god for that_. I added to myself.

"Ok… but they are only working on it since like 3 days." said Christian casually leaning against the wall by the door.

"All I'm saying is that even if they work for years they probably won't get as good as she is or if they did, it would be far more energy consuming for them." I said looking at him now. I felt better exposing my crazy theory to him as he was probably as unstable as I was for following me in my crazy still undecided plan. "Maybe that's why, even after so many months of training, that Lissa still can't dream walk and maybe she will only be able to do it for short period or stuff like that." I said with a small smile looking at Lissa again.

Lissa seemed to like the idea that she couldn't dream walk not because she was too weak or not good enough but just because it was just the way it was.

"Maybe Lissa is supposed to be the super healer, Oksana the super mind reader and Adrian the dream walker well the creepy stalker really." I added on a humorous note.

"Some women find that charming!" He said with a fake offended tone.

"Yeah well sorry we're not Edward fans here… Stalker don't particularly give me the hots!" I said dismissively. "Not that you showed up in my dreams or anything recently" I added wanting to slap myself almost straight away as understanding lit up his face.

"Not bad…not bad at all!" Said Mark approvingly. "That's completely possible."

"Look at you all brainiac!" Said Christian shrugging from his position against the wall walking to sit beside me. "I hope you didn't give yourself a brain hemorrhage figuring that one out."

"Go immolate yourself!" I said punching his shoulder playfully.

"Oooo did you buy a dictionary?? Immolate?? Nice" he said with his goofy grin tousling my hair.

Lissa clearly her throat to attract our attention.

"I…yeah." I simply said with an apologizing smile.

Adrian was looking at us with sharp eyes and Lissa envied my friendship with Christian more and more. A small part of her was scared that I was pulling away, that I didn't need her as much as I used too when she needed me even more.

I decided to have a chat about that with her soon enough because even if Christian now occupied a place in my life and heart it could never compete with her, she was my Lissa, my best friend…my sister.

"It's actually very bright" said Mark ignoring the little teasing. "And I think it's probably right, each Spirit user being more effective in certain aspect than other…it makes sense. "

_Maybe we need to combine all these aspects to save--- _I started to think but stopped almost straight away. I refused to think about the way to save Dimitri that involved too many people, if things turned badly, the probability of death being pretty high, I didn't want to have too many lives, or death on my conscience. I had already too many.

At this moment there was a knock at the lounge door and some waiting staff came in with some food. The smell was so mouth watering that I immediately guessed it was not coming from the Academy kitchen. I was pretty sure that the food they were cooking here had for only goal to punish us I mean come on no food could be that tasteless, for no ulterior evil motives.

"You did that?" I asked Adrian pointing to the trays full of food.

"Who else?" He said with his cocky grin.

As we started eating some Chinese food I couldn't help to look at Oksana and Mark and how they were with each other. They were not touchy feely but the way they looked at each other, the way he delicately brushed her hand. That deep love made my heart ache.

"See a dhampir and a Moroi can be happy together" whispered Adrian to my ear.

I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't even hear him come to stand behind me.

"I never said it wasn't possible" I said still looking straight ahead finishing the chicken fried rice on my plate.

"Do you envy them as much as I do?"

"I don't envy all the trouble they had to face to be together, I don't think I could." I simply said knowing I was an hypocrite because my relationship with Dimitri did face as many trouble than they did, if not more, but I did fight for us.

"Yeah it all depend who you're fighting for" he said a bit colder like if he was reading my mind.

"It depends if the person is worth fighting for" I retorted quickly glancing back to his puzzled look.

I sighed. "Nevermind."

"I'm going to the feeders" said Lissa almost at the door.

"Wait I'm coming with you!" I said jumping on the occasion. "It's getting late anyways."

"Yeah better call it a night… I heard you youngsters have some exams to revise" added Oksana with a small smile.

I grimaced as Lisa confirmed.

They arranged to meet tomorrow in the afternoon but I was to pleased to have a fighting study session with Eddie so I could zap the afternoon "Spirit training" .

I knew I would pass my finals without any trouble. It was not being cocky or anything but I didn't think that a lot of persons, guardians included, could fight as well as I did but I needed Eddie to pass with flying colors too. We needed to stay all together so he had to be attributed either to Lissa or Christian.

"You know how sometime you can't control the way your power works right?" I asked Lissa as slowly walked to the feeders.

"I know that…" she trailed off warily.

"Well I can't help it either and I can't feel how you feel" I said stopping in the path to face her.

"Oh…'' she said embarrassed the red creeping to her cheeks.

I nodded and caught her hand. "Nobody could ever take your place in my life Liss."

She looked up to me her jade eyes full of wonder and doubt.

"I know I let you down before I'm not denying that but I love you so so much."

She gave me a small smile. "I love you too Rose" she whispered.

"And please don't even think that anybody can take your place in my life or in my heart because…because that's never going to happen. Not now or in a million year. You are my Lissa, my sister and nothing or nobody could ever change that ok?"

Lissa nodded again.

"It's true that Christian and I share something. We're friends and I care about him very much but…'' I smiled a goofy smile. "He will always be the sarcastic smartass with an attitude."

Lissa hugged me tightly and I could feel the relief coming from her. _Silly girl!_ Then I thought of my future crazy plans and the smile I had vanished.

"Also you need to know that…'' I cleared my throat not really knowing how to say that. "Well you know during my next adventure if I have to leave you on the side…safe for a little while it will not be because I love you or trust you less than anyone else. It will be because I love you more and that I'd need all my mind to do something and that if I worry about you well…I can be weakened."

Lissa looked at me without a word.

"Please Lissa you have to trust me on that." I said more urgently. "If one day I tell you to stay aside, not to follow me, I'll need you to step aside, no questions but I'll make my way back too you always." I smiled. "Guardian or not."

Lissa seemed to ponder that for an eternity, she was wondering why I would ask her something like that and I had planned something too dangerous.

"I promise" she finally said realizing how much faith she had in me.

"Good" I said taking her hand leading her in the commons to the feeders.

Lissa got Alice, Crazy old Alice as a feeder today. Christian always enjoyed having her and Lissa didn't mind that much either. Blood was blood.

"So Rose keeping Lissa safe?" She asked me as Lissa sat beside her in the cubicle.

"Always Alice." I said scanning the room.

"But who is keeping you safe?"

I snorted. "I can take care of myself."

"Good good. Since the danger is getting closer, you need to be ready…Keep her safe by keeping yourself alive."

Lissa froze and I looked down to meet Alice half gone gaze.

"What?" I asked not able to hide my trouble.

"The danger is getting closer and closer. Even closer than you think it is. The army is being raised, they won't leave without what he wants."

"What does he want?" I asked trying to sound detached but I could almost make her answer in my head _'you, he wants you'_

But instead Alice eyes almost went blank. She smiled looking at Lissa, removing hair from her neck. "Whenever you want princess."

When Lissa was done with her feeding we stayed quiet for a little while lost in our thought.

"Do you think she was talking about--"

"I don't know Liss" but I knew deep down it was the only real danger in our near future. Dimitri was as much as a badass alive or undead and if he wanted in I knew he could do it.

"But Alice is crazy right?"

"Yeah she is but…" I shrugged. "You know what let me just figure all it out. I'll come out with a plan."

"Yeah?"

"Of course!" I said trying to reassure her.

"Rose can I have a word with you please?" asked Stan pretty cordially seeing us leave the commons.

Lissa did find him at the gym after our fight and healed him no question asked.

We were now a lot more cordial to each other. Maybe that fight did help ease some tension between us. Well we were far from being buddies or anything but we were not on each other throat anymore.

"Go to your room Liss, it's almost curfew anyways I promise we'll figure something in the morning." I said trying to sound far more confident than I actually felt. I wanted to wait till graduation before executing any crazing plan we would come up with but I never thought that it was possible for Dimitri to find me before that.

She seemed to calm down. She hugged me, nodded to Stan and left. I looked at her till she entered the Moroi dorms before concentrating on Stan.

"What can I do for you guardian Alto?" I asked as politely as I could.

"Is there something wrong?" He asked pointing to the Moroi dorm.

"Not yet…but maybe soon."

"Soon?"

"I'll keep you posted" I shrugged dismissively. I needed to warn the guardians soon enough that Dimitri was on his way, security around campus needed to be increased or I needed to leave campus and make it common knowledge…_Yeah!! That could be the solution._ "Anyways…."

"Yeah it's about your practice exams. We were talking with the board and you know we wanted to know if you wouldn't mond be the last to take it because…well with all the training you had and the experience--"

"I might discourage the others?" I tried.

"That's….that's the general idea yeah." He said grimacing.

"Honestly whatever. If you guys think it's for the best."

"Thank you."

"Don't mention it." I said uncomfortable. Stan was not one to thank people and me in particular.

"Tomorrow? Training?"

"I wouldn't miss it for the world" I said not able to conceal the sarcasm in my voice any longer.

"I bet" he said shaking his head walking in the common.

I was walking back to the dhampir dorm when a voice came from beside the old oak tree.

"Why are you avoiding me?" Asked Adrian coming to full view. "I've been back three days and where is Rose? Everywhere I'm not."

"I'm not avoiding you" I said turning to face him.

He laughed but it didn't reach his eyes. "Oh Rose who do you think you are talking to? Ralph Sarcozy?!" He sighed. "You know you're the biggest hypocrite I have ever met."

"_Moi_?!" I shrieked a bit louder than intended attracting the curious look from some of the students that were going back to their dorm.

"Yeah you." He said still calm. "You told me that I should tell you how I feel and now that I did you are avoiding me!"

"I…" I looked around. "Do you really think that's why I'm avoiding you?!"

Adrian gave me is best _'duh' _face. "Yeah well I don't see why then!"

I sighed. "Well I can't be weird out because of the bull you served me last week."

"Bull?!" He ask with incredulity.

"Well you left for a week and didn't even give me a call so…" I shrugged "allow me to doubt your sincerity dude."

"That's…" He started and I saw anger flash in his eyes. "If I left it was for you!" He hissed with anger. "I was with your father we…" He looked around. "Lets go somewhere quiet."

I nodded as now he got my full attention. _Him and Abe?? Together?!_

"My room?" He asked and for the first time it had no double meaning.

"Okay let's go ."

As soon as we made it to the room Adrian turned toward me and he was still angry.

"Do you really want to know what your dad and I did during the week?" He asked crossing his arms on his chest.

"Do you really need to ask?"

Adrian sighed. "None of us are crazy Rose. That's…that's why Lissa was here that morning. I know you well but she knows you better than anyone else. I just wanted her to tell me to what extend you could defy authority…pretty scary!!"

I just sat silently trying to keep my feelings in check.

"You promised to stay safe not to go into any crazy scheme but I…we know you and one day…" he walked to the seat opposite to mine. "One day you might decide to break him free and we couldn't let you become a traitor. I couldn't let you become one."

"I don't understand." I said confused.

"Well we convinced the judicial board to let do the research by letting Victor Dashkov escape, well…under very high supervision but still." He winked.

"I… what?!!!"

"Yeah you heard well, Victor will think it's an escape but it will be all organized." He smiled "well we'll have two secret service agents serving as guardians but you know…it won't ruin your whole life."

"You _'convinced'_ them?" I asked scared to realized what he meant. "How did you that?"

"I think you do know how I did that." He said patiently keeping his eyes in mine.

"Compulsion…" I whispered. "You compelled the judicial committee! Do you even know how risky that was?" I asked amazed by the insane risk he was taking for me. "Ivashkov or not… I shook my head. You could have been accused of treason too!"

"Don't you think I know that?" He said so calm I wanted to slap him. I would never forgive myself if anything would have happenned to him. "I needed your father influence to organize the meeting then well….it was very light compulsion don't worry the arguments were pretty valid."

"I don't…I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything I didn't do anything I didn't want to do. I…" he ran his hand through his hair and stood up. "I promised to always be here for you Rose, to support you even if you go crazy on me and…" he shrugged. "That's what I intend to do."

I jumped from my seat and hugged him tight. I didn't care if I was crossing the line again. He was so good, he was always there for me and it actually hurt me to know that I could never love him as much as he deserved to be loved. But part of me loved him of course, but that part was just an insult to what he deserved or even to what I fell for Dimitri…_Dimitri_.

I got out of Adrian arms and I could see he was reluctant to let me go.

"But why didn't you try to compel Victor I mean….if he reveals the location of his brother…" I started but I was scared to sound ungrateful.

"Well I did consider that but you see you told me Victor said his brother was a bit ummm…lets say impaired."

"Completely coocoo yeah."

"It's another way to say it." Said Adrian laughing. "But you see I couldn't help to ponder that, if Victor brother was a Spirit user powerful enough to bring back a Strigoi, why did he need to kidnap Lissa to be healed?" He asked rhetorically.

I was glad that question didn't require an answer because I didn't think about that and I wasn't pleased about it.

"So my guess is that his brother is really too far gone to do magic and so…" he shrugged before taking a strand of lose hair from my face, placing it behind my ear. "We need Victor to unlock the probable mess that is Robert's mind." He added letting his hand slide along my neck before resting it on my shoulder.

I was glad to have all these people ready to help, I didn't have to do it on my own and that was maybe what will make me win. I just needed one more ally now. "I need to get out of here...the Academy I mean."

"Why? You promised to graduate Rose!" Started Adrian getting unnerved.

"No sorry I mean I need to get out of the Academy as behind the protecting ward." I said catching his hand intertwining our fingers. I knew it was bad to do that since it could lead him in but I just enjoyed being with him, his dried, hot strong hand in mine made me feel a bit better, safer…as silly as it seemed. "I need to talk to someone"

"Ooooo I see." He said pulling me to him still keeping my hand in his. He wrapped his free arm around me. "No actually I'm lost. May I ask you who you want to talk to?"

"Yeah it's Andre Dragomir." I said simply.

"Ok maybe I shouldn't have asked."

I laughed. "Nah I mean it. I need a favor from him and ghost or not he will have to do it."

"Ok… okay" said Adrian letting go of his grip around my waist but still keeping my hand in his. It was quite passed curfew now but neither of us cared that much. "Let's go talk to the ghost" he said like he was talking about a random subject.

I shook my head but cannot stopped my smile.

"Come here" I said gripping his shirt with my free hand and pulled him to me giving him a chast kiss on the lips. With everything he had done he deserved that much and deep down I knew I wanted to kiss him, his lips felt good on mine. "Thank you" I said letting go of his shirt.

"Anytime my little dhampir…anytime" he said quickly kissing my forehead before pulling me out of the room.


	12. Chapter 12

**A.N:** Hey guys!! Just a quick thanks to my reviewers you are the one keepping me going.

Disclaimer: I don't own Vampire Academy or any of its characters. I wouldn't mind owning Dimitri, Adrian and Christian (Greedy i know but what can i say...I love them lol) but they are not that easy to kidnap...Dang!!

Well don't forget to review and tell me what you think =D.

Take care.

**Chapter 12:**

When we made it out of the academy I walked with Adrian to a shadowy spot as the sun was up now.

"Wait for me I'll be back in a minute" I said taking off my healing ring. "Take care of that for me will you?"

Adrian nodded.

I walked about 5 feet away from him, up the path.

"Andre…Andre." I whispered. I felt self conscious as I could feel Adrian's eyes on my neck. "Andre please show your face."

I remembered that fear and agitation could help trigger the spirits. I closed my eyes thinking on how Dimitri was getting closer, the danger, the pain of facing him without a way to save him. My heart started to beat faster, I started to have trouble breathing…yep it was official, I was having a small panic attack.

"Andre... please" I whispered again. "I really need you buddy." I opened my eyes slowly and sighed with relief. Andre was standing there, in front of me, with a sad smile.

"Is he here?" Asked Adrian looking at the spot I was looking at curiously.

"Yeah he is just--" I pointed ahead. "Never mind. I really start to feel for the kid in the _sixth sense_ you know" I said concentrating on Andre again. I knew I could have called any random ghost really but one I knew made me feel better….safer in a weird way.

Andre kept staring at me…. I forgot that ghost were not really what we could call talkative. They were more _'staring-till-giving-you-the-creeps' _type.

I buried my hands deep in my jeans' pockets. "Hey" I said stupidly.

Andre smile widened slightly and he nodded his hello.

"I…ummm… I need your help".

Andre nodded apparently accepting the task without even thinking about it. Well it was not like he risked that much by accepting anyways. There were not many things he had to afraid about since he was dead!

"Dimitri is coming here and… and I need you to keep tab on his progression… Please. I…" I turned around and looked at Adrian who was looking from me to the apparent empty spot in front of me. There was only curiosity in his eyes, no judgment. He believed me, even before, when they all doubted of my ability to see ghosts he never questioned my mental health. "I need them to be safe."

Andre looked at Adrian thoughtful. I couldn't help to wonder why he was still here, why didn't he move on to the other side like Mason did? What did he need to accomplish here?

Andre pointed from Adrian to me and brought his hand to his heart.

"Love?"

Andre nodded.

"To some extent I guess." I said feeling the blush on my cheeks. I was rather pleased now that Adrian couldn't see ghosts. "Will you help me?"

Andre nodded.

I let out an heavy breath of relief.

"Did he agree?" Asked Adrian inquisitively.

I nodded giving him a quick smile.

"Uh who would have thought that death would suit him…" Adrian chuckled "He was such an ass when he was alive." Adrian was only a year older than Andre, they probably met a lot during the officials parties and stuff. He then seemed to realize that Andre could hear him. "Sorry dude but you know…Well it's ironic to find out that you are more helpful dead than alive"

I shot him a death glare. If Andre decided to leave because of him I'll kick his royal ass but Andre just shrugged it off dismissively with a look on his face that could easily be interpreted by a _'look-who-is-talking' _face.

"ANYWAYS" I said concentrating my attention on Andree again. "Do you know if he is already here?"

Andre shook his head negatively.

" 'No' you don't know? Or 'no' he is not here?" I asked losing my patience even if I knew it was not his fault.

"Not here" he mouthed.

"But he is getting closer right?"

Andre nodded.

"Is he coming alone?" I asked dreading the answer.

Andre looked at me for a second and the look on his face gave me his answer before he even shook his head.

"That's not good" I whispered looking down at my feet. Dimitri was raising an army to come. He was already deadly by himself, he fought an household full of Strigoi, older than him, while injured!!

I looked up again and nodded. "Okay... That's okay we'll be ready."

Andre grimaced showing me that I was clearly underestimating this venue.

"It's a war right? He is coming with an army?"

"Yes…I'm sorry" whispered Andre sadly before he started to flicker. I understood now that trying to talk was draining a lot of energy from the ghosts.

"I know you are." I kept my eyes on Andre now not wanting Adrian to see my distress. "OK I'll come back out in two days. Thank you."

Andre gave me another small smile. And pointing to the Academy and to his heart. "I know you love her…I'll keep her safe I promise."

Andre nodded and disappeared.

"So?" Asked Adrian and I walked back to him.

"Well, It's not that good but…" I shrugged "at least he is not in the US…yet." I put my ring back.

"Everything will be alright my little dhampir" he said wrapping an arm around my shoulder kissing my forehead.

"Thank you." I said sincerely. I knew what he said didn't stand on anything concrete but it was good to hear, so good to have someone who had faith in you, with the situation ahead. "Oh by the way I would like to keep this little meeting a secret if you don't mind."

Adrian narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "More secrets Rose? Really?" He clacked his tongue reprovingly.

"Honestly it will only confuse Lissa to know that Andre is still around, it means that he is not at peace. Do you think she needs to know something like that in the present situation? She is still pretty weakened by the whole Avery mess, the break up and the Dimitri's situation."

"Yeah I guess" he conceded.

"Plus there is no point to tell the others either as Andre didn't really say anything that we didn't already know." I added but in fact I just didn't want Mark to open it and tell to everyone how dealing with the ghosts could be dangerous for someone like us or I would never hear the end of it.

"Okay we'll keep it to ourselves until he comes up with essential info." Said Adrian and I just noticed now that he still had his arm wrapped possessively around my shoulders as we walked back in the Academy.

For once I didn't even bother to shrug it off as I didn't care of what people could think about him and me. In another scenario, if I did manage to take down Dimitri, I would probably be dating Adrian or at least seriously considering the option so…If people wanted to think it was the case than so be it.

The next few days were pretty extreme, as we had to organize everything while starting to take our final exams.

Abe phoned me a couple of time in order to find out how the plan was advancing. We decided that it would be Pavel, one of the secret service agent (passing for one of Abe guardian), Victor and me who would go retrieve Robert from Norway a few days before graduation. We would actually go as soon as we _"broke"_ Victor out of jail before he could even get the chance to figure out that it was just a set up.

I also asked Abe to see with the alchemist if they had any kind of potions that could help with the war ahead. He didn't sound too pleased to involve the, and I quote, _'crazy religious bigots'_ in our plan but he agreed.

I didn't want Lissa to get involved too much either, and even if I could feel the huge disapproval coming from her, I kept her involvement to a strict minimum.

We were all confined in Adrian's bedroom where we had charts, blue prints and photos. I even surprised myself to think of us like the team of _Ocean's Eleven _except that we were now 7 standing in that room and not specialists but I guessed that neither Brad nor George could control fire, compel people or talk to ghosts.

"So we have the trip to Norway, the return to the academy" I said as we decided to keep Victor and Robert here since we had no way to stop Dimitri from attacking anyways. Well, it was our plan, at least for now, maybe it would be possible to make him track me down somewhere else but right now we didn't know how that could be done.

"Now we need to figure something out to keep up the pretense for the prison evasion." Said Christian looking at the prison blueprints. "I mean… he is not an idiot."

"I know that…" I said biting my bottom lip looking at the big chart we had on the wall. "Plus we need to pass the guardians anyways. Only the high judicial council and the Queen know about our plan right?." I asked looking at Adrian for confirmation. He nodded.

"So compulsion is needed isn't it?" Asked Lissa and I could feel her excitation increasing. "You'll need someone very good at compulsion."

"Well if it's a human prison almost any Moroi would do" said Eddie with a slight shrug.

"Well not really" I said reluctantly as I didn't want to give arguments toward Lissa's option. "Victor is very bright. Firstly I'll need to trust someone greatly to tell him/her my plan and well… I do have some serious trust issue."

Saying that made Christian snort with approval it was like a not so concealed _'no-shit?!!' _and I shot him my death glare making the others laugh.

"Plus that Moroi need to be close enough to me to risk his future and maybe get a lifetime in jail just to help me." I said thoughtfully.

"And who is better than your best friend?!" asked Lissa literally marveling now. She wanted first line…she was just as stupid as I was!!

"Well the guy who is in love with her." Answered Oksana matter-of-factly pointing to Adrian. "Usually it's the people in love who are doing the stupidest most radical things."

We all looked at Oksana agape. Lissa wanted to hit her for mentioning that other option.

"What?!" Asked Oksana looking from one to another "Please don't tell me it was a secret I mean…it's so obvious to me!! You didn't know?" she asked with worry in her voice.

Christian snorted again. "Believe me no secrets here" he said shaking his head. "It's almost as widely known as the fact that oxygen is essential for us to breath."

"And that Christian is a sarcastic smart mouth that can't shut it." I added feeling embarrassed for Adrian but he actually didn't seem embarrassed at all. He was looking around in a _'yeah-what-else-is-new' _kind of way.

"That's actually not a bad idea" said Adrian raising an eyebrow. "I'm a spirit user, I'm sort of cocky enough to think we can pull it off and…and well what she said" he added pointing to Oksana.

I heard Lissa mutter a small cursed under her breath making me laugh.

"You'll play your part Liss you know that right." I said like I was talking to a child. "You remember what we talked about? I need you to help but from a secure spot. I need to concentrate on the task ahead only, and I will not be able to do that if you're not safe"

"I know…I know" she said with resignation.

"Ok good so let get over this again" I said taking a deep breath. "Eddie, Adrian and me will go to the jail to retrieve Victor." They nodded. "Then we split Adrian and Eddie go back to the academy as Victor, Guard X and me jump into Abe jet where Pavel will be waiting and go straight to Norway."

"While we get ready here for whatever war is preparing" said Christian with his mischievous smile while showing the steady flame resting in the palm of his hand.

"You read my mind buddy." I said with a grin. "But maybe…maybe" I concentrate on Lissa and her excitation level increased again. She knew I was about to give her a mission.

"Yes?" tried Lissa encouraging.

"Well the youngsters are released about a week before graduation anyways right?" I asked rhetorically. "What if you could slightly _persuade_ Kirova to let them go like even a week before that. So…whenever he attacks, if it get to this of course," _it will go to this _I added to myself. "Well we'll have fewer casualties to worry about."

"I can try" said Lissa not really convinced but she was ready to everything.

"And then --" I was cut off by my ringing phone. I frowned answering it as I just talked to Abe about an hour before.

"Hello?" I said warily.

"Hello evil creature of the night."

I burst into laugher attracting 6 pairs of curious eyes on me. "Hey my favorite crazy bigot. How are you doing?"

"Well…I've got my next mission" said Sydney darkly. "I need you to pick me up from the airport tomorrow."

"Yeah??" I asked curiously "and what is it?"

"Assisting you and the other creatures with potions and other tricks" she said but I could hear she was only mildly displeased.

"You missed me eh?" I asked and I saw jealousy in Adrian's eyes even if he was doing his best to hide it.

"So you'll come pick me up or not?" she asked purposively avoiding the question.

"Of course! What time?"

"3pm at Missoula's airport."

"See you tomorrow" I said actually pleased to have an alchemist on our side

"Bye Rose." She said and hanged up before I even had a chance to say bye.

"So...who was it?" Asked Christian. He was the only one brave enough to ask.

"Backup" I replied with a wink.


	13. Chapter 13

_**A.N:**_ Hey Guys!!

I did my best to update today and believe me wasn't an easy thing to do but well you guys deserve it. You are so awesome.

I already figured what will be the subject of my next story ( I'll write it only when this one will be done) and it will be based on the Hunger Games series.

Anyways, I know this chapter is a bit slower than the others but it is done in purpose.

Don't forget to review...*Plllleeeeaaaasssseeee*

Hugsies =D

**Chapter 13:**

"Thank you for coming with me." I said to Adrian as we took off for our 3 hours drive to Missoula airport.

"Spending 6 hours in a confined space with you? It's my pleasure."

I rolled my eyes but smiled looking at the countryside I already knew by heart.

Adrian was the one who managed to borrow a car. They probably figured that, with his bank account, he could easily repay it if we had an accident. So he was driving, but even if I was not going to acknowledge it out loud, he was driving very well and I felt very safe with him.

"So the girl we are picking up… She can help you?" He asked more seriously shooting me a quick glance.

"Maybe… I'm not sure." I slightly shrugged. "She is an alchemist and--"

"An alchemist?" He asked but the surprise made him swerve a little.

"Hey!" I said reaching for the steering wheel.

"Sorry… Sorry" he said quickly "but…" he looked at me again probably to make sure it was not a joke. "You can understand that… I mean she is one of these bigots and she is about to enter the lair of darkness."

I had to laugh at that. "Yeah well it would be good not to mention that to her" I said reaching up to pat his arm without thinking.

He smiled "And why is that?"

"Well Sydney is pretty decent really. She is a bigot yeah, she has a pretty bad opinion of us but she has a good heart." I smiled remembering how she felt bad for me after she discovered my relationship with Dimitri.

"I see... So you say she is the less bigot in the bigotry group."

"Something like that. So maybe… well you know how much I like your personality but maybe you could just ummmm…tame a bit the whole cocky, flirty attitude when you'll be around her. I mean, " I chuckled "we don't need to fuel her whole theory of us being creatures of darkness."

Adrian stayed quiet for a minute probably pondering that. "Well if you don't want to scare the girl maybe she shouldn't meet Christian without supervision."

I laughed out loud and it felt good to laugh. "Yeah you've got a point."

"I mean even I, full creature of darkness, think Christian can be creepy at times." He added grimacing.

"Yeah I know he doesn't make a very good first impression" I conceded.

"Or a second, or a third…" Adrian added trailing off.

"Yeah... But once you get through all this cockiness, snarkiness and sullen attitude Christian is…" What could I say really. "Christian is… a very good person."

"Yeah… You guys grew a lot closer in the last 6 weeks, It's something that was impossible to miss." Said Adrian probably trying to sound nonchalant but failing miserably.

I looked at his profile silently as he was driving. "Are...you're not jealous right?" I asked as it would be totally absurd.

"Should I be?" He asked quickly glancing at me.

"No! Of course not!" I said almost shocked.

He nodded silently.

_Here we go again _I thought groaning silently. "If I ever were to date anyone it…" I took a deep breath "it would be you." I said simply looking away as I didn't want to see his reaction.

After what seemed an eternity, but probably wasn't more than 2 or 3 minutes "It's…" Adrian clear his throat. "It's good to know." He said and I could hear the underlying emotions in his voice.

"Uh huh…." I said still looking out the window.

"I…" he started but never finished his sentence. I was pretty sure he was about to tell me he loved me and I was grateful he didn't because I couldn't reciprocate.

The rest of the trip was pretty silent we only talked every so often about very trivial things like the weather forecast or the possible colors of the graduation gowns.

When we finally made it to Missoula airport we both sighed with relief at the exact same time, making us laugh.

"We are not good with all that are we?" I asked getting out of the car.

"Well actually you are the one who's not good with all that my little dhampir" he said resting his hand lightly on the small of my back as we walked in the airport. "I'm just wary about what I'm saying as I'm scared you'll run off any minute if I say something I shouldn't" he added and it didn't seem to bother him more than that. He was just stating a fact.

"And I really appreciate that." I said sincerely. He was giving me the time and space I needed.

"I know you do" he said now looking at the big arrivals board. "Oh I got it," he pointed to the board. "Flight 2543 Gate 2. They should land in 10 minutes."

I looked around and started to walked down toward Gate 2.

As soon as we sat down, in front of the door, he took my hand mechanically and I didn't take it back. It was nice, and if it was what he wanted, I could at least concede that much.

Adrian looked down at our intertwined fingers for a while and I couldn't help to look too. It was funny how our hands could reflect all the differences between us.

His pale white skin clashed with my dark gold tanned skin that I acquired spending so much time in the sun. His fingers were long and delicate, his hands were wide but flawless. His skin was soft and no scars or burns were damaging them. My hands were petite but strong, my skin was covered with little scars and as much as I hydrated them my palms were slightly callous due to the number of hours I spent training and fighting.

_Yeah…we couldn't be more different _I thought still looking down.

I looked up but Adrian was still looking down, he was now tracing patterns on the back of my hand with his empty hand.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked gently squeezing his hand.

He looked up to meet my eyes, his emerald eyes darker than usual. "I was looking at our hands and thinking how we are completing each other. The light and the darkness, day and night." He smiled and shook his head. "Silly I know… What about you?"

"I…" I smiled. "I was thinking that we needed to have a video camera for when Sydney will meet Christian."

I could see in Adrian's eyes that he didn't buy it but he was nice enough not to comment.

I smiled again and leaned in to kiss the tip of his nose. It was not a romantic kiss per say, but it was a bit more intimate than a kiss on the cheek. It was actually exactly our _'status' _right now: more than friends but far away from dating.

As soon as my lips connected with his nose I heard a _'urgh' _sound coming from my right than a little _'I'm going to puke'_

I laughed. "Hi Sydney" I said turning to see her. "It's nice to have you here."

She was dressed with a pair of black dressing pants, a yellow button down shirt and her hair were tight in a very strict bun. That was Sydney alright.

I stood up and hugged her. She hugged me back awkwardly.

"I'm sorry for interrupting your…PDA." She said looking at Adrian through narrow eyes. She didn't like Moroi and didn't hide it.

Adrian stood up and came to stand beside me. "Don't worry about it" he said with his usually cocky grin. "I'm your chauffeur Miss Daisy" he added with a small bow. "My name is Adrian Ivashkov" he said over politely "you can call me Lord of Darkness." He said winked at me. "It's how you youngsters are calling Dracula nowadays right?"

I gave his a chastising look. _I did warn him! Argh! _

Sydney threw him a dark look "Fine…Lestat." She said frostily.

"Come on Sydney lets go." I said taking her bag on the floor. "How is the red hurricane doing by the way?" I asked and it was enough to make her speak for a good hour.

We were about half an hour away from the Academy when the silence started to weight.

I turned around to look at Sydney on the back seat and smiled.

She smiled back. "So where will I sleep? With you right?" She asked hopeful.

I opened my mouth to say that she will have her own room in the guest pavilion but I closed it again. She had trouble to sleep the first nights with me…She would never be able to rest in a building full of Moroi.

"I... yeah. We can arrange that of course." I said trying to figure how I would manage to move in the guest building with her but I knew that I could sweet talk Alberta and I needed to tell the truth to my mother anyways… _lots of shouting there _I thought grimacing.

Adrian probably noticed my discomfort because he raised one eyebrow and said " you are going to sleep together? Uh…. Can I watch?" and it did the trick, I burst into laugher.

"In your dreams Lestat!" Snapped Sydney.

"I wouldn't say that if I were you" I said still laughing, knowing Adrian ability to dream walk.

Sydney looked at me puzzled, I just shook my head dismissively.

"So except the super vanishing potion, do you have anything else Strigoi related that can help me?" I asked trying to change the subject.

Sydney discreetly glanced at Adrian. "I'll tell you about that later ok?"

Adrian chuckled. "Ooooo we wouldn't want to talk in front of the big evil Moroi" he said with laugher in his voice. "We never know maybe I can go sell those secrets to the KGB."

"Stop it please." I said calmly reaching for his right hand on the steering wheel and brushed its back softly.

"I'm sorry" mumbled Adrian quickly glancing at Sydney in the mirror.

"You can talk in front of him you know" I said turning a bit more on my seat to have a better look at her. "I trust him with my life." I said sincerely. "Him and all my friends" I added quickly not to mislead her. She'll have to talk in front of them. Each player had to know it all. "Do.. Do you know why you're here?"

"Well not really" she admitted. "They said that you needed me for something pretty big, That could change everything but that I won't end up in jail."

"That's about right." Said Adrian keeping his eyes on the road.

I nodded without a word. I knew Sydney well enough to know she was going to freak out when I'd mention the jail break because…organized or not, she won't see it with a good eye.

I sighed. "I'll tell you everything tonight" I said as I knew she would be far more comfortable with me explaining everything to her if it was just the two of us. "Oh just one thing you can be as rude as you want with Adrian and even Christian."

"Christian?" She asked quizzically.

"Oh yeah, you are just going to love each other!" said Adrian marveling and I couldn't stop my playful smile. I really didn't need to encourage his behavior but he was always good at amusing me.

"Yeah well…Just try to be nice with Lissa please" I said locking eyes with her. "She is very sensitive and one of the nicest person I ever met. I…I will not tolerate rudeness toward her." I simply stated.

"I'll be on my best behavior" she said lips pursed.

"Thanks" I said deciding to ignore the coldness. "But well you'll see, they are all fantastic… in their own ways."

She snorted but didn't comment.

"It's going to be tough for Alberta to swallow that one." Said Adrian completely ignoring Sydney presence now and I thought she was grateful for that. "I mean why on earth would an alchemist show up to stay here?"

"I can have friends outside of the Academy!" I tried.

Adrian burst into laugher. "Right!!" He glanced at my face and probably saw the indignation. "Oh you were serious?…Of course you can!" He said trying to backtrack but it was too late.

"Asshole!" I said looking away. But I wasn't really mad and he knew it.

"But you love me just as I am." He said teasing.

I just grunted.

When we made it to the Academy I told Adrian that I was going to see Kirova with Sydney and to tell the other I'll see them as soon as I could, probably tomorrow.

"Yep." He kiss my forehead quickly. "See you later Rose…" he turned to Sydney. "See you later Jesus."

She just glared at his retreating form.

"Don't mind him." I said laughing

"Are you dating? I thought…." she ask nonchalantly as we walked to Kirova office. "I don't know what I thought" she added finally.

"No we're not dating but…" I gave her a quick sideway glance. "He is very important to me."

"Right." She said simply I didn't know what she thought about it.

As expected Kirova was very curious on why I invited an alchemist to stay here and how we became friends in the first place but she accepted to bring a second bed in my room. I think you couldn't be suspicious with me…the little heroin.

Just after they brought the bed in the room Sydney started to tell about the Strigoi related potions.

"Well the one to attract strigoi is pretty stupid" she said emptying her small bag in my half empty dresser.

"We never know.. It might turn out to be useful one day."

There were a light knock at my door. It turned out to be my mother.

I introduced Sydney to her, and to my surprise, she was very cordial with her.

"Rose can I see you 5 minutes please?" She asked pointing at the door.

I nodded "yeah...I'll be back in a few" I said to Sydney.

"Don't worry about it" she said dismissively.

My mom walked us quietly to an empty lounge upstairs.

"So?" I asked sinking on the sofa.

She locked the door behind us and came to sit beside me.

"I'm the one who should ask that."

I looked at her with confusion.

"Rose come on." She said with slight exasperation like I was underestimated her. "I know you are preparing something but…For a Alchemist to get involved it has to be big, very big."

I opened my mouth but said nothing. I couldn't fool her and I knew that. "You're going to be mad."

"I'm not going to get mad" she said patiently.

"You're going to shout…a lot."

"I'm not going to shout…Come on tell me" she said and I could see she was doing her best to control herself.

I took a deep breath and told her everything in one go, before I lost all my courage.

When I was done she just stared at me. I could see she expected a lot, but that was not the case.

"I…" She sighed before looking at the forest painting on the wall. I knew she was not really looking at it. "It's impossible" she finally said quietly after 5 long minutes.

"What is?"

"Convincing the Judicial board to let Victor Dashkov out even under supervision." She shook her head. "Even if you had proofs on tape."

"Well" I shrugged slightly coking my head on the side. "Adrian did _convince_ them" I said looking straight into her eyes.

"How on ---" She stopped her eyes widening with understanding. "He did…_that_?"

I nodded silently.

"It's…Go back to your friend Rose before she starts worrying." She said standing up. "We'll… talk about that another time I need time to absorb it all."

"Yeah I bet" I said actually astonished that she didn't made my ears bleed with her shouting. "I'll see you tomorrow."

My mom unlocked the door and I could see she was still lost in her thoughts.

"Tomorrow… yes." She padded my shoulder.

"So what are we going to do now?" Asked Sydney when we got ready for the night.

"Now? Well…We're going to get ready for the war ahead" I said trying to sound far more confident than I actually felt.

I was about to drift into sleep when I felt myself being pulled into Lissa's head. Her powers were really increasing with Oksana's help, she could now almost summon me on purpose.

She was crouched behind Adrian's small kitchen counter but she was not afraid, she was just uncomfortable. She was not supposed to be there, since it was way past curfew, but scanning her mind I could see she came up because she was curious about Sydney and our friendship. Adrian and her had just started to chat when my mother came in. Both Lissa and him decided it was better for her to hide than to explain her presence in the room.

I couldn't see them from where Lissa was hiding but I could hear them clearly enough.

"Rose told me everything" said my mother so calm it surprised me.

"Told you what?"

"About you _convincin_g the High Judicial committee for Victor."

Adrian stayed quiet.

"Do you even know how dangerous it was for you to do that boy?" She asked but she was not mad just worried.

_Boy?! _Lissa and I thought simultaneously, my mother never called anyone like that.

"Don't you think I know that?" He asked sounding resigned.

"But why?? You know it's not helping her and yourself to go in this crazy plan."

Adrian stayed quiet for a long time, so long that Lissa was considering showing herself.

"I had no choice" said Adrian in a hushed tone. "You know Rose as well as I do, you know how much Belikov means to her. She made him a promise and she was going to find someway to try to save him with or without me and I would rather be a part of it." I could hear the loud intake of air. "I can try to keep her safe, to stop her from doing something that would destroy everything…destroy her."

"But have you considered the possibility that it might work and if it does, she will choose him and you--"

"I'm irrelevant" he said quickly. "I don't want her to settle for me… I want her to choose me" He said and I could hear the sadness in his voice. He knew that it would never happen, I could never choose anyone over Dimitri and the resignation in his voice hurt me.

I got out of Lissa's head and realized silent tears were falling down my cheeks. Sydney was looking at me quietly with concern all over her face.

"Are you ok?" She asked uncomfortably.

I nodded quietly. "Yeah… I'll be better in the morning." _I just hate hurting the guy that owns only enough of my heart to hurt us both. _I added to myself.


	14. Chapter 14

**A.N:** Hey guys!!

I hope you are going to enjoy this chapter. From the next one things are going to heat up lol.

Anyways I'll UD as soon as possible.

Don't forget to review =D

**Chapter 14:**

"Where are you going?" Asked Sydney already in bed.

"I…I need to talk with Oksana." I said evasively tightening my training shoes.

"But we've spent the whole day with them…the whole week really." She said almost whining.

I rolled my eyes but she didn't see it. It has been a week now that she was at the Academy and she almost refused to leave the room and when she did it was to, pretty much, reluctantly following me to Adrian's room.

Christian even called her my _'creepy shadow' _because she was always glued to me. Funnily enough Christian was on his best behavior when Sydney was around even if I knew the very low opinion he had about alchemists but I guessed he didn't want to make the situation any more difficult and I really appreciated that.

"I need to have a word with her in private" I said before Sydney did even get the chance to get out of bed. "And night seems to be the only time."

"Yeah with your friend Lissa following us everywhere" She said nonchalantly settling more comfortably in the bed while reaching for the book she was reading…_The_ _Hunger Games_.

"Lissa…Lissa is my best friend." I simply said. But it was true that Lissa was very jealous of me having another girl friend. She was silly of course but it would have been pointless to tell her, yet again, that she was my best friend. If she wasn't sure by now, that nobody could take her place in my heart, there wasn't much I could say to convince her.

"But it's past curfew." Said Sydney and I knew she was just saying that because she was not comfortable to stay by herself.

"Since when do I follow rules?" I asked rhetorically. I turned around and smiled at her. "I'll be back soon I promise."

She shrugged "Don't sweat it Rose, I've got company" she said nudging her book. "Peeta is loving, perfect and human"

"Who?" I asked confused. "Pita? It's some kind of bread right."

She sighed. "Never mind. See you later."

"Yeah." I said simply walking out. We were right in the middle of the exams, and us novice, were almost seen as guardians now. Plus, as I already noticed earlier, I was slightly above the rules.

"Miss Hathaway…It's past curfew" said the matron as I reached the exit.

"I know but it's important" I said head high locking eyes with her to show that I wasn't joking around.

She looked at me for a second and decided that fighting me was not worth it. "Make it fast" she simply said concentrating on her magazine again.

I jogged as discreetly as possible to the guest dorms because, even if some of the guardians and Moroi on service were more easy on me, I didn't want to run into my mother. She wouldn't let me go without exactly knowing why.

When I made it to Oksana and Marks' room I got a little uncomfortable to disturb them. They were a couple and…oh Hell.

I knocked quietly enough so they wouldn't hear it if they were sleeping.

Mark opened the door almost immediately. He was not even in PJs yet.

"Rose!" He said as a big smile spread on his face. It was funny how him and Oksana were always happy to see me .I felt like I was their adopted kid or something, and even if we parted about 4 hours ago, I could see that his pleasure was genuine. "Please come in!"

I walked in and found Oksana sat at the table with her usual herbal tea. It smelled terrible and tasted even worse but it helped her channel her energy. Lissa was happy enough to use it every once in a while. Adrian, spat it out after the first gulp saying that nothing tasting that bad could do any good and he rather turn crazy than drink something that tasted like ass and after tasting it myself…I had to agree with him.

"Hey Rose!!" Said Oksana with the same big smile as Mark.

"I needed to talk to you in private" I said sitting in front of her. _'Private' _included Mark as she was even more linked to him than Lissa and I were so, it was useless to try to have a secret.

"Oh really?" she said raising an eyebrow. "I'm intrigued now."

"I bet you are" said Mark sitting beside her.

"So you see Andre told me today that Dimitri just arrived to Alaska right." They nodded "and I was thinking…Magic does influence Strigoi to some level. The healing ring, the fire and all that."

"Yeah…" said Oksana trailing off.

"And you know the potion that help enhance psychic abilities is pretty efficient isn't it?" I tried perfectly knowing the answer to that one.

Sydney had shared with us a potion that enhanced the psychic abilities of the spirit users making them two to three time stronger but we decided to keep it secret as it could corrupt. Power always corrupted people. Oksana just drank 1/8th of the dose and she was powerful enough to take me into Christian mind without burning energy.

"I guess…" she said warily.

I looked at both of them and decided to play it straight. "Okay I wanted to know if you could enter Dimitri's mind" I blurt out.

"What?!" They both said in total sync.

"Avery could influence mind and if the potion can make you more powerful maybe you could influence a Strigoi mind… it's not like they are not sensitive to magic." I said feeling more and more idiotic.

Oksana looked at me silently but I could see in her eyes that she was thinking at hundred miles per hour. Mark kept quiet and I was grateful for that. It was Oksana's decision to take and he respected that.

She sighed heavily. "Ok let's just talk hypothetically here… if I could get in, which I doubt I could. What do you want me to do?"

I bit my bottom lip. "I want you to implant a memory in there."

She opened her mouth to say something but I quickly continued to talk.

"Well I want you to take me in his mind as you took me in Christians' mind at the try out." I kept looking at them into the eyes to show them that I was sure. "I want him to attack somewhere else."

"Why?" Tried Mark.

"He only came with 4 other Strigoi and it's a very small group to attack the Academy which means he has a plan. He knows something that we don't. Dimitri…Dimitri is not the kind to attack recklessly and I know he is the same alive or undead."

"I don't see your point." He insisted. "Maybe he is planning to recruit more _'soldiers' _on his way over here."

I shook my head. "Dimitri won't take anyone to attack the Academy. He needs to trust them to some extent, to know what they can do." I locked eyes with him. "My point is that if he is coming only with 4 other Strigoi it's because he knows how to attack and the Academy is huge…We have too much ground to cover."

"Maybe…" Said Oksana unconvinced.

"Plus I was thinking about it and we're supposed to be criminals, traitors and we're going to bring Victor back at the Academy?" I grimaced. "It's pretty moronic."

"Yeah…I thought about that too" Said Mark. "If I was Victor I would have doubts if you brought me back here."

"So what's your plan?" Asked Oksana.

"Well I wanted to go in his mind and just change one of his memory of us. One day, after training, he asked me what did Lissa and I had planned for graduations. I…I just want him to think I told him that Lissa and I planned to go and spend the week before graduation in the Lodge her parents had in Badlands National Park in North Dakota."

"You want to attract him there." Simply stated Oksana.

I nodded. "We'll have the advantage there, it will be our ground."

"Yeah but it's very dangerous Rose. I mean imagine it doesn't work? He'll attack the Academy but none of us will be there to keep it safe." She said worried.

"Andre can keep us posted on that and…"

Oksana shook her head vigorously. "it's crazy Rose it will never work."

"Why?"

"Why?!" She snorted. "Well you pick your favorite…I never tried to enter the mind of Strigoi before and you told me that Dimitri was very powerful, I don't know him, there is nothing to link me to him, he is far and there is no way to be sure it worked!!"

"Maybe we can just give it a try as for something to link to him." I pointed at myself. I didn't want to sound full of myself but I knew I was his only weakness now. The only thing that was still keeping him attached. "As for a link to him well…I'm the best bet, I'm probably the only thing that could still affect him."

"So you want to see if we can temper with his memory?" She asked me wearily. "Maybe...yeah if it works, it's maybe better to get him away from the Academy." She finally conceded.

I looked at her hopeful.

"Ok…We can try." She looked at Mark. "Can you get me the little bottle with the rest of potion?"

Mark nodded and squeezed my shoulder as he passed behind me.

"What do you want to do?"

"Well I was thinking that we could go back to the day when we were both making snow angels, it was a moment where connected…." My voice became thicker, it was painful to remember our happy moments. Oksana reached for my hand and squeezed it. "I want him to think he promised to support me and wish me luck the morning of the _Gladiators' day_."

"_Gladiators' day_?" Asked Oksana confused.

"Yeah it's the last physical exams for the dhampirs." Said Mark coming back to sit beside me. "It's like the most important of them all. It's worth about 80% of your physical training."

"Yeah and you see it happens on the same day every year depending on the Academy you are attending of course and here it's the Friday, two weeks before graduation."

"So…It's tomorrow!" Said Oksana.

I nodded. "And I know Dimitri, if he had this memory he would contact me. He will want to keep this promise he made to me. He seemed to make a point of it, when he held me captive, to tell me how he was keeping his promise. Moreover, it will amuse him to torture me like that "I added not able to conceal the pain in my voice.

"So you want us to implant that memory and try to influence him into calling you?" She summarized.

"I… exactly."

She jugged her bottom lip and shrugged slightly. "Why not….worth the try."

I sighed with relief.

"So he will call the Academy you think?" Mark asked, I almost forgot he was here.

"If it worked he will yeah. And they'll transfer him to my cell."

Oksana took the little bottle containing the gold color potion and drank half of it. It was about 3 times more than what she drank for the Christian experiment. "You'll have to guide me to his mind Rose." She said taking my hands.

"And how do I do that?" I asked suddenly worried that I would fail.

"I don't know" she shrugged slightly. "Think about moments you shared, happy moments. Even…while he held you captive."

She held my hands tightly, eyes closed. I closed my eyes starting to go over some of my moments with Dimitri. I was a bit embarrassed knowing that Oksana could see them too but I knew she would never judge me. That woman was good to the core.

I saw the first time we kissed, the first time I read through his pretense, the first time he hint on the love he felt for me. Our time in the cabin, the _'I love you's' _after that. I also thought on how he held me in bed when he was a Strigoi, spooning me as to keep me safe, how he defended me against Nathan and Galina.

I suddenly felt a cold breeze fill my body, almost freezing my bones. I could feel the pain and hatred and desire to revenge….We were in.

He was thinking about me, how he was about to make me his. He didn't want to kill me, he actually never even intended to. He wanted me by his side. He tried to fight that part of him but he couldn't. It was clear in his mind, undeniable, I was his and he was mine but he wanted to kill the others…my friends, my family. He hated them because they had that part of me I didn't give away willingly. For him, I chose them over him and he intended to make them pay. He considered that they had stolen me from him and he was coming here to claim me back.

I gasped keeping my eyes close. I could feel it deep down inside of him. He probably didn't acknowledge it himself but he did love me, probably as much as he did before, but it was overshadowed by all the evil and darkness.

Oksana was so powerful it amazed me. She managed to slip through his memories with almost no effort.

_He is not protecting his mind right now. He doesn't think anyone could be powerful enough to do that_. Said Oksana directly in my mind. _I'm implanting the memory now and I'll try to give him the impulse to call you like…an encouragement. I don't want to hit to strong. We don't want him to figure it out and block his mind. _

I nodded still feeling all the coldness in Dimitri but I couldn't help loving me. I was ashamed of that of course but I just did.

After a couple more minutes Oksana's hands relaxed and she let go of mine. I opened my eyes slowly and met her concerned gaze. She probably thought I was a freak, a wacko when she realized all the love I still had for him.

"Now we wait and see." She said nicely. "I'm sorry" she added in a breath.

Mark quickly looked down at the table, he knew everything, I could bet he saw my memories as Oksana was seeing them.

"Why would you be sorry for?" I asked naively. "Even if it doesn't work, you tried!"

"No I'm sorry for you two Rose." She said in a hush tone. "Nobody can comprehend the love you had…still have. We knew you two were in love we just…." She quickly glanced at Mark probably trying to find the right words. "We never even guessed the extent of that love." She shook her head. "_**It IS **_a love worth fighting for."

I chewed on my bottom lip. "I sure hope so" I said in a whisper more for myself than anyone else really. "I…I need to get back."

"Yeah you need your sleep if you want to be ready for, what did you call it-- _Gladiators' day?"_ She asked with a sad smile.

"Piece of cake" I said standing up trying to joke.

Both Oksana and Mark hugged me tight. It was a bit awkward for me but it felt nice too. They were good people.

I was walking back to my room still shaken by the little visit in Dimitri's mind. Now it would be even harder to kill him if I had to. I was positive that his love for me was still inside somewhere…how would I ever be able to plunge my stake into his heart now?

I sighed heavily as I reached the building.

"Hey!"

"Christian?" I asked dumbfounded seeing him exiting my dorm. "What are you doing here?"

"I needed to ask you something but _'creepy shadow' _told me you left for a while." He said grinning.

"Call her Sydney! You're not helping you know." I snapped

"I…" Christian looked hurt it had been so long since I snapped at him. "I just wanted to know if the potion to enhance power could work on me too…She said we'll give it a try tomorrow if you're ok with it."

I nodded curtly.

"What's wrong Rose?" He asked warily.

"You want to know what's wrong?" He nodded. "Really??" He nodded again.

"What's wrong is… You know how much I love Dimitri right?"

Christian frowned slightly confused. I could see in his eyes that he didn't expect me to go there.

"I love him so much and even now I'm ready to do everything to have our love back even…" I gulped as a lump of tears had formed in my throat. "Even him, evil as he is, he is trying to get back what we had in his dark and twisted way." I shook my head "and when I see two people that love each other so much" I said pointing at him.

"Rose…" He started resignedly.

"There is no need to deny it Chris I saw your mind remember. I'm so mad at you two I could just scream! You see me fighting to have my love back, you know how easily you can lose it and what do you guys do? Give up!! I…." I threw my hands in the air in surrender.

"It's not that---"

"Don't say 'easy' because I swear I hurt you!" I said and I realized I meant it. "Nothing worth living come easy Christian and you know that. That's what make me sick. Seeing you waste what I'm working so hard to get back!" And without another word I swirled around and rushed into the building.

_It needed to be said!! _I thought as guilt started to creep in me. I hated to have snapped at Christian like that. I hated hurting him, he didn't deserve it. But he had to understand that one day it might be too late and that he should enjoy being with Lissa while he could.


	15. Chapter 15

**A.N:** Hey guys!!

Here chapter 15 I really hope you are going to enjoy it. A big thank you to Natasha (XxFormidablePassionXx) for taking the time to beta this chapter =D

Well I hope Nadine will be satisfied with the bit of Pavel we get in this chapter *wink*

Ok now, on another note, there is a poll on my page I would REALLY love for you guys to take it. I'm not trying to influence you in any way but I think that Poor Peeta Mellark is really underrated!! I mean any guys who would tell me _"If you die, and I live, there is no life for me at all back in D-12. You're my whole life, I would never be happy again" _get my heart (And Anto's too lol) lol

Don't forget to review this chapter and tell me what you think.

Thanks

Steffy.

**Chapter 15:**

My phone beeped.

"Hello…" I answered sleepily, eyes still closed.

"I'm sorry to wake you up in the middle of the night Roza but I wanted to wish you good luck."

"Dimitri…" I whispered as my eyes shot open. _It worked!! I'll be damned!_

"Yes Roza it's me." He said with his velvety voice and I could imagine his cold smile. The smile his Strigoi self bored most of the time… the one I hated to the core. "Do you remember the snow angels?"

"Of course I do." I said in a low voice keeping my eyes locked on Sydney who was still sleeping soundly.

"What did I tell you in the snow that day?" he invited me to continue. He knew it hurt me to revisit our rare but precious memories and I was sure he was doing it on purpose.

"You told me that you would be there for me to support me during _Gladiators' day_." I said trying to sound as nonchalant than I could.

"That's right" he said and I could hear the smile in his voice. "I unfortunately can't be there with you but you need to know that you're in my mind… always." He said and even if the words were nice they still managed to sound like a threat.

"Where are you?" I asked even if I perfectly knew the answer. I wanted to know if he would play with me or if he was confident enough to tell me the truth.

"I'm with you in your heart, in your head…in your soul" he said huskily.

I turned to lay on my back, looking at the ceiling trying to swallow back the tears because he was right, of course he was right!

"But I presume you mean physically." He continued as I kept quiet. "I'm too far from you Rose. I wish I could be beside you, in that bed, giving you what I know you are craving but I'll come eventually. I always keep my promises, remember."

"Then, you promised to never hurt me…" I whispered stupidly.

"What does 'hurting' mean really? It's all subjective Roza." He said seriously. "Do your best today, you wouldn't want to put your mentor to shame would you?" He said teasingly. He chuckled. "I'm not worried, you're gifted in almost everything we tried together."

That little remark made me blush furiously.

"Dimitri…" I only repeated as I was scared to say too much and have him figure it all out.

"I'll see you Roza… Just so you know, willing or not, you'll always be mine and I'll always be yours and that can't ever change" He said emotionless like he was reading the news. "I'll hurt anyone getting in our way."

"I--"

"Sleep well Roza." He said cutting me off and the line went dead.

I looked at my phone for a while. It was good I knew that. It meant that Oksana could tamper with his brain enough to probably make him change the place he wanted to target his attack, but hearing his voice, his barely hidden threats… That was hard to bear.

I turned to put the phone back on my nightstand when I crossed Sydney's eyes fixed on me.

"Was that who I thought it was?" She asked calmly.

I nodded.

"What does that mean Rose?" She asked with concerned.

"It means that, from now on, the odds are in our favor."

"Good." She said simply turning around to go back to sleep.

The next week was really crazy as we were putting the final touches to our plan.

Oksana drank a full potion this time and made sure the memory was really well implanted in Dimitri's mind. She was pretty poised so it made us all confident.

Kirova didn't mind letting us leave for a week since there were no exams left or anything like that. Lissa probably did _'help' _a bit there but I wasn't sure and I didn't want to ask.

My mom had been a lot harder to convince. She didn't want to let me go alone, she wanted to come.

"_Do you really think I'll let you go there, meeting a deadly Strigoi while I stay here…safe at the Academy??" She shook her head angrily. "Think again Rose!!"_

"_I won't be in danger Ma" I said soothingly. "I'll be with some deadly guardians! Pavel and the guys from the Secret Services and most of the Moroi there will be more powerful than ever!" I said as we realized that Sydney's potion was also working on Christian making him one hell of a flamethrower. _

_She sighed. "You don't understand Rose but…but I realized all the mistakes I made as far as you are concerned and I won't make them all over again." _

"_But it's different this time I won't be alone and…and Victor knows how serious you are about the rules." I said sincerely. "With you there, it will be impossible to fool him. You would never willingly risk you career and mine for something that trivial." _

_My mom pursed her lips with disapproval but I could see in her eyes that she was surrendering. She knew I was right but it didn't mean she had to like the idea and I could see that she hated it. _

"_You need to be careful Rose" she said sighing heavily. "You have to understand that I can't lose you ok? I… I just can't allow that to happen…ever." She said trying to sound just very sure but her voice was huskier, she was probably trying to conceal her emotions. _

_I hugged her tightly. "I'll come back mom, I promise."_

"_You better…or else" she said hugging me back fiercely. _

"Earth to Rose." Said Sydney as I was getting ready for what could be my last day at the Academy. Now win or lose…there were no turning back.

"I… Yeah." I said shaking my head as remembering this intimate moment with my mother brought tears in my eyes. "You know about tomorrow…" I said trailing off,

"What about it?" She asked sitting on her bed.

"It will be dangerous…VERY dangerous" I said sitting on my own bed so we faced each other.

"I got it Rose I'm not that stupid!" She said somehow offended that I mentioned something that evident.

"No I know you're not, it's just…" I took a deep breath. "You can go home now" I said gently.

She looked at me silently for a minute and I could see anger and rejection in her face. "I see…" She said nodding. "Now that you've gotten everything you needed from the alchemists you send me away…" she snorted "and I thought we were friends!"

"But we are!" I said offended "that's why I'm trying to keep you safe. I…" I sighed and went to sit beside her. "I hate for the people I care about to get involved in what I'm about to do Sydney and I know you will not want to stay here without me and I hate the idea to have you there on the front line with no way to defend yourself. I'm just trying to protect you Syd, I promise."

She narrowed her eyes slightly with suspicion but relaxed almost immediately. "Yeah but that's the point, you're my friend and I want to be there, dangerous or not."

I sighed in capitulation. I was stubborn but I was no match to Sydney and I knew that. "But you'll have to stay hidden you know that right? Not with me but with the Moroi and other dhampirs."

She nodded "I know and it's all good, I just want to be there I mean…" she grinned "I went through like 2 weeks of super boring preparation putting on with Ivashkov's idiotic behavior… I want to share the spotlight."

"It's reckless and stupid you know that right?" I asked more rhetorically than anything else. She had been raised with the idea that every single person in our world was evil and dangerous so of course she knew how dangerous it would be.

She just smiled.

I sighed and rolled my eyes but didn't comment. Sydney was on board now, no matter what. I thought that telling her she would have to stay almost two days without me might make her change her mind but she told me that Lissa, Mark and Oksana were, and I quote, _'kind of ok to hang around' _which was, for Sydney, one hell of a compliment!

Today we were all tense on different levels, and once you knew our little group enough, you could see what the main concerns were, even if none of us worded our fears and doubts out loud. It was too late to do that anyways. Abe's plane would be here tonight to pick me up along with Adrian and Eddie. We needed the daylight as a weapon to get Victor out of Jail.

The others would spend the night at the Academy, probably not really sleeping getting ready for their own plane very early in the morning to go to Lissa's cabin.

Sydney went to stay with Oksana and Mark that night since she couldn't stay in my dorm room with me but she was on her best behavior. She didn't want me to change my mind and send her away. She even went there with a smile on her lips…scariest thing ever!

That night just before I went to go meet Eddie and Adrian at the plane, I quickly stopped by the Moroi dorm and took Christian over to Lissa's room in order to say goodbye to them.

"Ok guys I know I'll see you two in two days but…" I looked at them both sitting patiently on Lissa's bed looking at me with both concern and confidence. They trusted my judgment but couldn't help being worried about what was about to happen. "Everything will be alright you know" I said with a sad smile.

I could feel that Lissa was doing her best to fight back her tears. She knew it was silly as we'd be apart for only two days and what I was doing was not that dangerous but she didn't like us being separated.

"You take care ok?" I asked locking eyes with Christian for him to understand I meant '_you take care of her'_.

He quickly glanced to Lissa to show me that he understood. "Always" he said and I could hear the underlying emotion in his voice. "And you be safe ok? Nothing is worth you being hurt if anything…anything at all doesn't turn out right you just run as fast and as far as you can, ok?"

"Of course!" I said with a smile but I knew that it was probably one of the biggest lies I'd ever told. I would never leave Adrian or Eddie behind. I would rather give my life saving them.

I could feel relief through the bond meaning that Lissa bought it but I could see in Christian's eyes that he didn't buy it for a second but he was kind enough not to word his doubts.

He just stood up hugging me fiercely. "Please be careful." he whispered to my ear.

"I'll do my best" I whispered back kissing him soundly on the cheek. "Come on Liss give me a---"

My phoned beeped.

"Hello?"

"Come on! Hathaway where the hell are you?" barked Pavel. "We're ready and waiting!"

"I'll be right over." I said not able to conceal my smile. I was probably more of a masochist than I even thought I was because I did miss him.

I kissed Lissa's forehead. "I'll see you in two days. I…I love you guys." I said as I exited the room. I still had trouble to express my feelings but I decided to work on that later…if I had a later.

I ran to the runway where my mom was waiting for me. Her face was grim and hard probably trying to keep her emotions in order.

"Mom." I whispered stopping in front of her.

I could see her eyes glint slightly, she had tears in her eyes and it hurt me deep in my chest.

"It will be alright mom, we have it all planned." I said taking her hand.

I could see Pavel in the shadow of the plane door but he didn't say anything, giving my mother and I the couple of minutes we needed.

"Just come back to me Rose… Whatever happens, we can work it out. Just be safe and come back." She said barely louder than a whisper. I presumed it was the emotion that kept her from talking louder.

I just hugged her burying my face into her chest. I couldn't say anything, everything that could have been said would have sounded all wrong and I knew that.

"I'll see you soon." I said letting go of her.

She smiled at me and gently removed a strand of hair from my face. "I'm so proud of you Rose. You are so brave and fearless. A real fighter! I couldn't have dreamed for a better daughter."

I smiled back and walked into the plane.

"Don't forget what you told me Ivashkov" said my mother louder before Pavel could close the door.

"Never!" Said Adrian who was sitting in the back of the plane.

I frowned slightly with confusion but I knew I would find out eventually.

"What took you so long?" Asked Pavel as I quickly sat down across from him as the plane took off. "We can't say you particularly took care of your appearance" he said pointing to my clothing.

"We can't all be naturally charming like you _Papav_." I said snickering.

Eddie snorted and tried to hide it with a cough.

"Hey Buddy!!" I said as cheerily as I could. "Ready?" I asked.

"As ready as I can be." he said with a wink but he didn't fool me, I could see the apprehension in his face.

"What about you _Papav_? Ready?" I asked as I had to stay in front him till the pilot said it was ok to walk around. "What's your first name anyways I mean…'Pavel' is a bit impersonal. We're buddies now!"

Pavel looked at me for a minute. "I have to be ready don't I? And my name is Gavrilovich."

"Really?" I grimaced, "Gavrilovich?" He pursed his lips. "I'm sorry dude that sucks."

Adrian burst into laughter from the back. I decided to go sit beside him later.

"My friends call me Gav." he said with a small smile.

"That's shocking!" I said with fake surprise. "Well I don't know what is more shocking really, that you allow people to call you Gav or that you have friends."

This wit made him smile even wider. I was ready to bet that he loved my teasing as much as I liked his.

At this moment we heard the beeping sound releasing us and I almost jumped out of my seat.

Eddie stood up too and I could see excitement in his eyes.

"You are not going to beli---" He started but was cut off by Pavel.

"Rose let me introduce you to Guardian Arch from the Secret Services." He said formally.

I turned around just in time to see the man exiting the cockpit, he was probably sitting beside the pilot and that man was… that man was huge!! He was the biggest man I had ever seen. A real killing machine!

I detailed him, mouth agape. He was at least 7 feet tall and 360 lbs. He was so broad, I would have needed at least 3 Dimitri's to make one like him and my Dimitri was already broad shouldered. He had black hair and gray eyes with olive skin. He was beautiful in a rough, manly kind of way but he was scary.

"Wow…you're some piece of a man!" I exclaimed without even thinking.

Pavel had a ghost of a smile playing on his lips but tried to keep his seriousness.

"Miss Hathaway. Nice to meet you" said Arch ignoring my comment.

My hand almost got lost in his enormous one.

"It's nice to meet you too" I said as formal as he was. Apparently he was not the kind of guy that you joked around with.

"Just so we get our story straight my name is Sebastian Arch and the cover story will be that I'm Adrian Ivashkov's guardian." He said nodding toward the back of the plane where Adrian was sitting.

I turned around and grinned when Adrian winked at me.

"That's all good. I'm pretty sure I can remember that." I said as a joke but his serious nod led me to think that he didn't get it.

"OK….Well I'll catch you later" I said going to sit beside Adrian. "Hi there."

"Hello Rose" he said letting his head roll on his head rest so he was facing me. I took a similar position and relaxed as we looked into each others' eyes. "You seem tired." he said with concern.

I shrugged slightly. "Don't worry I'll sleep on my way to Norway."

He nodded and reached for my hand wordlessly.

I squeezed his hand tightly after he intertwined our fingers. "We're going to be alright." I said.

"I know." He whispered still keeping his eyes on mine.

"What did you say to my mother?" I asked curiously.

"I'll tell you in due time." He said with a small smile.

I couldn't help the small yawn.

"We still have a bit more than one hour flight Rose you could take a small nap."

I nodded, and without even thinking about it, I inched closer and rested my head on his shoulder. I needed the contact and hearing his quiet breathing, smelling his wooden aftershave, feeling his warmth made me feel safe.

Adrian wrapped his right arm around my shoulders and rested his cheek on top of my head.

"I'll do it" he whispered but I decided to ignore it as I had no clue what he meant and I was feeling so good right there… I just closed my eyes and tried to forget everything that was about to happen.

I didn't even realized I fell asleep when felt Adrian's hand gently brushing my cheek.

"Rose…Angel, wake up" he whispered against my forehead.

"Ummm?" I muttered still keeping my head on his shoulder.

"We're about to land" he said gently kissing my forehead. "It's time to free the big bad wolf." He added seriously.

"Victor." I said as my eyes shot open now wide awake.

"Victor." he repeated as a confirmation while tightening his arm around my shoulders as the plane started to descend.


	16. Chapter 16

**A.N:** Hey Guys

I don't have much to say except thanking you for the reviews. I hope you are going to enjoy this chapter.

Please don't forget to review as it really keep me going even when I'm dead tired lol.

Hugsies

Steffy

**Chapter 16:**

"Ok here is the drill," Said Arch as we approached the prison discreetly. "No time to discuss it." He added seeing I was about to argue.

Nobody at the Prison was aware of what we were about to do. As far as they were concerned, it was a real escape which was a good thing as it added to the pretends. We were not faking the urgency.

I pursed my lips and Adrian squeezed my hand to show me his support.

"You" he pointed to Adrian Eddie and I "you go in I'll stay by the door and keep contact with you if there is a move" he added taping the little ear piece he was wearing.

"How will--" I started but didn't bother finishing when he handed me a small ear piece.

"Don't insult me with stupid questions" he said not even bothering to look at me anymore.

"Hey! Being a 'super agent' is not a free pass for being an ass. Do you copy that?" I snapped.

He looked at me with what seemed to be approval. I was sure people didn't snap at him that often.

"I'll stay by the main gates, after you'd have done your voodoo crap to the guard" Arch said to Adrian.

I could see Adrian jaw muscles bulged but he didn't say anything.

"I'll keep an eye on the cameras, while you get him" he added looking to Eddie, Adrian and I as Pavel stayed in the plane waiting for us.

I was about to ask him who elected him big boss but I kept it shut as we had much more important things to deal with.

Adrian reached the guards at the entrance first as we stayed a couple of meters behind, hidden. We didn't need to raise their suspicion.

After talking with the guards for about 2 minutes Adrian gestured us forward.

"They'll do everything you ask them to do" he said to Arch pointing to the guards sitting in complete daze.

Arch nodded entering the small office looking at the screens.

"Lets go" said Adrian gripping my hand. "It's now or never."

I looked at him and smiled. I knew how much all of this cost him. I knew he loved me but he was still here, every step of the way, to save Dimitri even if it meant we wouldn't be together.

Adrian put the first guard to sleep and forced the second one to open the door to the corridor where Victor was held.

"You go first" said Adrian barely louder than a whisper.

I nodded and walked briskly to Victor's cell.

"Rose you're back!" he said standing from the bed where he was lying. "So… have you made up your mind?" He asked with a big smile.

"I'm here to get you out." I said through clenched teeth. It still killed me to let him out. I knew it was more like a temporary freedom but it was crazy nevertheless.

"How could--" He started but stopped when he saw Adrian approaching with the guard. Victor eyes narrowed with suspicion. I stopped breathing with apprehension.

Adrian locked eyes with the guard. "That's good... Now you are going to open this door" he said with a very calm voice.

"Yes… open the door" said the guard with a sleepy voice.

I kept my eyes on Victor whose eyes widen with understanding. He seemed to like what he was seeing.

"He is a dhampir…You are one of them, a Spirit user." He said literally marveling.

Adrian ignored him,

The guard opened the door and as soon as Victor walked into the corridor he burst into laugher.

"Who would have thought the rumors were real?" Said Victor shaking his head.

"What are you talking about?" I asked briskly.

"When I was at the Court awaiting my trial I heard rumors. Rumors that the nephew of the Queen got involved with my favorite rebel, but you know, I knew you were involved with the dhampir." He looked at Adrian who was looking at him with sharp eyes. "Well at least it was true as far as _YOU_ are concerned." He added pointing to Adrian

"So what?" Asked Adrian.

"Nothing…I just find that rather ummm amusing."

"You gave me your word" I said cutting them off. "You said you'd help me."

"And I intend to keep my promise. Hate me as much as you want Rose but there is something you can't deny. I _**NEVER**_ lied to you" he said locking his jade eyes with mine. "And I'm probably the only one."

I pursed my lips but didn't comment because it was true, good or bad, Victor only told me the truth. Every time I asked him something he told me what he believed was true.

"We need to move" said Eddie who was standing beside the door.

I nodded grateful.

"And where are we going?" Asked Victor as we exited the corridor.

"To Norway"

"So you figured it out?" He asked somehow impressed. I almost snapped at him telling him I was not as stupid as he thought I was but it was Christian who figured it out.

"Yeah well… it was not enough" I simply said.

"Maybe it was" he said evasively concentrating on Adrian who was working on the guard.

"You are very tired…you are going to sleep now and when you wake up you'll see it clearly in your head." Said Adrian with an hypnotic voice. "It was 3 men who attacked you, 3 Moroi in their 40's."

"It was 3 Moroi" repeated the guard.

"Sleep now." Said Adrian as the guard yawned and fell on the floor.

"Awesome!" said Eddie still not as used as I was to see compulsion.

Adrian winked at him and grabbed my hand. "Ok lets meet Arch." He said pulling me away.

Victor was following us with a little smile on his lips. Eddie was closing the cortege, just in case. I did believe that Victor was really going to help me, whatever his ulterior motive was, but I was not idiotic enough to trust him blindly either.

Adrian worked on the guards in the entrance compelling them to believe the same description of the attackers than the guards inside the prison.

We rushed to the runway where the plane was waiting.

As soon as we reached it, the motors of the planes started to roam. Pavel probably did see us coming.

"You're going to go with them" said Adrian coldly to Arch.

"But I'm your Guardian I'm--"

"Yeah you have to do as I say!" Snapped Adrian. "It's your job remember."

Arch pursed his lips and nodded.

"If that's not love" said Victor with a small laugh.

"I go with Eddie and I'll met you there" he said to me.

"Meet you where?" Asked Victor curiously.

"I'll tell you in the plane we really need to go now" I said dismissively keeping my eyes on Adrian. I knew they would just take the car and drive to the Dragomir Cabin which should take about 9 hours. _Yeah they should make it before sunset._

"Hathaway!" Barked Pavel from the plane making me laugh.

"Oh joy! Your number one fan is here too." Said Victor with incredulity. "Why would he even agree to help you?" he asked suspiciously and I could see I had to find an answer fast or Victor would not move.

"He has to… he is one of Abe Mazur guardian and an order is an order."

"Abe Mazur again" Said Victor trailing off. I could see he was thinking.

"I'll tell you everything in the plane" I said more or less sincere. "Please move."

Victor walked beside Arch to the plane, I was behind them.

I had a foot on the first step when I felt someone pulling me back hugging me tight.

"Be careful" whispered Adrian in my hair.

"Same to you, be safe" I said reluctantly getting out of his embrace but I didn't want Pavel to burst a vein.

I looked into his eyes for a minute and maybe he saw something he liked because he bent down to kiss me hard and I kissed him back.

"I love you Rose."

"I'll see you soon" I replied, and right at this instant, I hated myself for not reciprocating. I walked into the plane without a look back.

"Please Rose, come sit here" said Victor with an inviting tone but I knew I didn't have much choice.

Pavel sat across from us probably to show Victor that he would be listening.

Victor quickly glanced at him with a smile playing in his lips.

"So Dear Rose, I never thought you would do that."

"You knew I would try" I said with a bitter smile. I knew Victor well enough to know he was playing me. "You just never thought I would succeed."

"Possible" he said with a glint of humor in his eyes. "Which lead me to ask what I'm dying to know…What did you promise to Abe Mazur to get his help?"

"What are you talking about?" I asked crossing my arms on my chest in a subconsciously defensive position.

Pavel took his glasses off and shot me a warning _'be-careful' _glance.

"Well at first I thought he contacted me as a freebee." Said Victor with a slight shrug. "You know for you to trust him. Then, when you came to visit, I got curious and I thought that maybe he wanted you as a guardian I mean…" he grinned "I can't judge I wanted you to guard me too."

I pursed my lips but kept my mouth shut.

"But now…now it's different. He is far from being honest but Abe Mazur going into a criminal venture for someone else? Not likely." Said Victor scrutinizing my face. "So I can't help to wonder what on earth did you promise him or gave him for him to do that."

"What do you think?" I asked coldly.

"Well I know you are going to be an exceptional guardian but you are clearly not worth that much…no offence."

"Non taken" I said quickly glancing at Pavel who was doing his best not to smile.

"So I can't help but think about something else and that…" he shuddered "that would be just shocking and disturbing coming from you but I guess you are maybe really ready to _ANYTHING_ to save your dhampir."

"How is that---" my eyes widened with understanding as Pavel jaw locked with anger. "You are one sick bastard!" I gasped quite happy that Arch was not here to hear those accusations as he resumed to take his seat beside the pilot.

"Well what is it then? Tell me Rose, what do you have on Ibrahim Mazur?"

I shot a glance at Pavel who just shrugged probably meaning it was my call.

"Look at me Victor…really look at me." I said locking eyes with him "Look at my hair, my eyes…my skin tone." I smile slightly "my attitude that you described as, if I remember correctly, my ability to bend the fine line between right and wrong as long as it meet my interest. Tell me now…Who does all that recall you of?"

Victor looked at me quizzically for a minute or two before bursting into laugher. "Of course!! It's so evident!! But I would have never thought that Janine Hathaway could…" he stop shaking his head still laughing.

_You and I both _I thought but kept this remark to myself.

"So you are his heiress? That's…something."

"I'm proud of being his daughter" I said defensively, head high.

"As long as it's fine by you it's fine by me." Said Victor crossing his legs. "So we're going to Norway? Where exactly??"

"That's what you are supposed to tell me. You knew your hint wouldn't be enough to lead me to your brother". I said not able to conceal the anger in my voice as well as I wanted to.

"We're going to Stavanger" he said still smiling. It actually took all my will power not to smack his smile away. "And I gave you all the answers Rose… Know that much."

"I--"

He raised his hand to shush me. "I gave you the 'Alexander Kielland' part and actually it's all you needed to know."

Pavel stood up to go to the cockpit probably to tell them where we were going.

"Give me a break" I snapped.

"No it's true. Alexander Kielland was born in Stavanger, Norway. Once we'll get there there is a park called _Breiavatnet_ where there is a statue of Kielland in the center."

My eyes narrowed with suspicion did he really mean that? Was it really _THAT _simple. "And what next?"

He chuckled. "Next well there is a street parallel to the park where you can find a monastery."

I was about to say '_How in earth was I supposed to figure that one out?'_ But I was glad I kept my mouth shut.

"By the way the monastery is called St Vladimir" he added with humor. "I'm sure anyone could have figured it out even the guy in there" He said pointing to the cockpit door where Arch was as Pavel already resumed his seat across the aisle. "Even if he is probably barely more intelligent than a plankton."

I couldn't help but smile.

"So why?"

"Why what?"

"Why did you tell me that if it was that evident?" I asked challenging him.

He smiled "Because I knew that even if you did manage to find him it would be useless. It would like he is talking a different language and I'm the only translator around." He cocked his head to the side. "I knew you needed me, no matter what."

I just nodded. Adrian was right then, Robert Duros brain was fried and Victor was the only one able to interpret it.

I couldn't help but yawn, except the hour I slept on Adrian's shoulder it had been more than 24 hours since I slept.

"You better sleep for a little while Rose, it's not like I can go anywhere" said Victor matter of factly gesturing to our surrounding.

I closed my eyes and decided to pay a little visit to Lissa in order change my mind a little.

She was making the bed in one of the main bedroom in the cabin.

"Are you ok?" Asked Christian leaning against the doorframe.

Lissa shrugged dismissively. "I doing fine." She didn't want to show her weaknesses to him. She didn't want him to be near her because he felt bad for her, because he pitied her.

Christian closed the door and leaned on it.

"Lissa you can fool them but you can't fool me." He said nicely. "I know you way better than that. Are you ok?" He repeated again.

Lissa sighed and sat on the freshly made bed.

"I'm worried" she said looking down,

Christian went to sit beside her taking her hand in his. She loved the contact, she was craving for his touch but she thought that he didn't love her anymore…what a fool!

"Adrian phoned, everything went according to plan. Rose is on her way to Norway, Eddie and Adrian are on their way…The house will be ready for the Strigoi."

"I know it's just…I'm not sure I can do it." She said looking up to meet his eyes.

"Oh…" Apparently Christian was not expecting that. "It's all good. I know Rose will be more than happy not to have you involved in all that. I think she is waiting for the first chance to send you back to the academy."

Lissa couldn't help her little smile. She was not questioning our friendship anymore. She realized I was mainly an overprotective best friend. "No that's not the problem" she said confidently. "I mean we are the best of the best here with all our powers overly enhanced. I'm not scared about that."

"Look at you all bad ass." Said Christian chuckling.

"Yeah we even have more help than we asked for."

"You bet!!" Christian ran his hand through his hair. "Rose is going to freak!"

_Freak? Why would I freak?? Who was helping? _I thought trying to search Lissa's mind but she was all over the place I couldn't get anything that made sense.

"No my problem is… facing him again" she said and I could see Victor clearly in her mind. "I want to be strong, I don't want Rose to feel bad for bringing him into our lives again, because lets face it, if the situation were reversed if yo-- if someone I loved was Strigoi, and if there was only the slimmest chance for that state to be reversed, I would do exactly the same thing but…but I'm just terrified."

I felt like a knife plucking deep into my chest. I was making Lissa face the person she hated the most. All that only to try to save Dimitri. I was so selfish but the problem was that I just didn't feel bad enough to stop it all.

Christian trapped Lissa's face in his hands, and without breaking eye contact, closed the distance between their faces. He didn't kiss her but he was so closed, their noses almost touching that she could feel his warm breath caressing her face.

"I'll be here with you, you will be safe because…because I love you and probably always will. We can work it out, all of it." he said before crashing his lips on hers.

Lissa started to kiss him back with hunger and passion and I decided it was my time to exit her head before clothes started to fall.

I smiled settling more comfortably on my seat. Things were starting to get back to the way they were supposed to be. The golden couple was finally back together having their happy ending. _Maybe I would get mine too _I thought before falling asleep.

_Rose Angel wake up _I heard Adrian call me and my eyes shot up with surprise. I looked around but only saw Victor reading a magazine and Pavel who was keeping a sharp eye on him.

_Adrian? Is that you? _I thought feeling idiotic but with everything that was going on maybe telepathy was possible but no, it wasn't the case, since nobody replied. I was probably dreaming about him but that was just…strange.

"Where are we?" I asked the voice still full of sleep.

"I was about to wake you" said Pavel, "We should land in about 30 minutes." He pointed to the back of the plane. "I bet you can find something to eat in there."

"Thank you" I said and nodded a cordial 'hello' to Victor going to the back of the plane as my stomach was starting to rumble very loudly.

As I started to nibble on the crackers I found, I realized that we crossed more steps now. Based on Andre calculation, in three days I would be face to face with Dimitri, and it will all end then. After months and months of speculations, insane hopes and great despair I would get my answer in three tiny days and then what?? The unknown was more terrifying that anything I faced to this day.


	17. Chapter 17

**A.N:** Hey guys!!

Just a big thank you to my reviewers as you REALLY keep me motivated, never doubt that!!

I also want to thank XxFormidablePassionXx for taking the time to beta my chapter.

Don't forget to review and tell me what you think.

I hope you'll enjoy

Steffy =D

**Chapter 17:**

After we landed we decided to check into a hotel for the night since the pilot needed as much rest as the rest of us. We settled for a hotel close to the Monastery to go to pick up Robert very early in order to make our way back to America still under the protection of the sun.

Victor shared a room with Arch and Pavel and I got to sleep in a room by myself. Well, sleeping is an overstatement as I spend most of the night staring at the ceiling. I felt better after phoning Lissa at the cabin and she announced that Eddie and Adrian made it back safely.

I started to imagine how things would happen from now on, I was replaying the plan in my head over and over again. It couldn't…wouldn't fail.

It seemed I was barely asleep when the alarm clock beeped.

I groaned, trying to open my eyes. It was like my eyes lids weighted 200 pounds.

_When it's done, if I make it, I'll sleep for at least a week! _I thought stumbling to the bathroom hoping that a cold water would put my brain in the right way.

I just got dressed when Pavel knocked at my door.

"Hathaway time to go." he barked.

"You know I thought we were on a Rose-Gav level now but no…" I closed the door "You insist on keeping it on a surname level? Fine Pavel!"

"It's easier that way." He said evasively. "Promiscuity is never good.'

"Whatever…" I said stupidly hurt, I felt like a kid who wanted to make friends with someone who didn't want to. I looked around. "Where are Victor and GI Joe?"

Pavel had a ghost of a smile. I knew he liked my witty self but he was not ready to admit it.

"Victor is having his…'breakfast' in the room" he said grimacing slightly. "I just couldn't handle that without at least a coffee in me."

I nodded understanding how he was feeling. We stocked the plane with 5 bags of blood for him and Robert.

"Coffee?" I asked tentatively.

"You bet" he said gesturing me to the elevator. "I told them we'll be waiting in the lobby."

I nodded, grateful. The shower did half the job but I was sure that one or two big cups of strong, black coffee would finish it.

The walk to the monastery took about 5 minutes and it was a good thing because even if it was cloudy Victor was not comfortable outside. To be honest, it was not like I cared if Victor Dashkov was feeling good but it would be a pain if he passed out because of the sun.

I was actually glad Victor was with us because the monks were refusing to let us in but once they saw Victor and he introduced himself they let us in. I, as a woman, had to stay in the main entrance while Pavel, Arch, and Victor went to pick up Robert.

When I met Robert I had a shock. Well, I didn't really know what I expected, maybe a face that said _'beware I'm totally crazy' _but it was the total contrary. Actually he looked like the sanest of all of us.

He had the same jade eyes as Victor but the resemblance stopped there. He had blond shaggy hair, was barely 40 and he seemed so nice, kind…almost safe. When he saw me he looked at me curiously and flashed me a million dollar smile and I couldn't help but smile back.

"You are the wild flower aren't you?" He asked me as he hugged me.

It felt awkward and I had to go against all my instinct to not push him away.

_You need him, he is mentally unstable, be nice _I repeated to myself awkwardly hugging him back.

"Yeah it's her…It's Rose" said Victor with the nicest voice I ever heard of him.

_Wild Flower…Rose! _I finally understood. Ok he was coo coo in the was he was talking in metaphor…that's going to be bitchy!

"A flower that grows in adversity is the most beautiful of all…but you have to be careful that the shadows don't swallow you." He said so seriously that I felt I had to reassure him.

"I'll do my best." I said with a small smile.

He nodded sadly before getting in the dark SUV with a chauffeur, that the monks graciously lent us, to go back to the plane.

All the way back to the airport Robert kept his eyes locked on me, like he was trying to read my soul and it was making me very uncomfortable.

Once in the plane, Arch went to sit beside the pilot. I started to suspect that he was not that hot for our company.

Victor sat Robert beside him and I sat across from them.

"Why?" Asked Robert looking at Victor.

_Why what? _I thought but kept it shut.

"She wants to bring the light back in a dark one." Said Victor looking at me.

"You…really??" He asked apparently happily surprised.

I nodded. "I need your help." I said with the full force of my puppy eyes on him.

"Is----loved?" Robert asked me.

I looked at him confused. There was a blank in his sentence and I knew it.

"He wants to know if it's someone you loved?" Asked Victor. I looked at him quizzically. "Yes, sometimes he doesn't realize that he is not wording his whole question but I get it fully, as he is mentally connected to me."

I nodded. "Well yeah, it's someone I love." I threw a quick glance to Pavel as I was uncomfortable to talk with him so close. "Someone I love with all my heart and soul."

"You have healing hands?" He asked curiously.

I quickly glanced at Victor.

"Spirit users." He specified for me.

"I have some…3 to be exact." I said smiling to Robert. I kept repeating myself that he was a nice guy, that I should be nice with him, being Victor's brother was not making him an evil psycho.

"3??" Said Victor literally marveling. I decided to ignore him.

"The more healing hands the better." Said Robert nodding approvingly. He looked at me through narrow eyes.

I fidgeted on my seat he seemed to be reading me and I seriously didn't like that.

"A pure soul has more chance to fight the shadows but even the toughest flower needs light to survive."

"What--" I tried confused.

"You need to find your way through the darkness, too long in there and there will be no present and no future…your soul…will be lost."

Victor frowned as he seemed to read something in Roberts' head that confused him.

"A black hole?" Victor asked rhetorically but he probably understood I knew what he was talking about when all the blood drained from my face.

I knew only too well the black hole. It was the place that Andre showed me in the plane.

"You know what he is talking about don't you?" Asked Victor with his evil grin.

"Maybe.." I shrugged dismissively. "I need to go in the shadows? Why?"

"It's where his light is. You need to put the light back in the dark one."

"Of course I do." I muttered.

Robert looked at Victor and, with the way he looked at him, I could see that he was communicating with him.

"You know about the hole…you need to go inside to---" Started Victor but I raised my hand to stop him.

"Please, could you give us a moment?" I asked looking at Pavel.

"What?" He asked completely stunned taking off his glasses to lock eyes with me.

"I need some privacy with them please." I repeated as coolly as I could.

"I don't really think it's a good idea Hathaway." he said trying to sound detached but I could see that what he meant was. _'I will so kick your butt if you make me leave now'_

"I think it is. I mean…it's not like they can go anywhere" I added keeping my eyes on him to show I wouldn't back away.

He sighed. "Fine" he said through clenched teeth. "I'm going to go in the soundproof cockpit to see where we are."

"So…what didn't you want mister 'big shot' to hear?" asked Victor with humor.

"The hole your brother talked about is the land of dead." I said as calmly as I could even if my heart was beating so hard in my chest it hurt.

"The land of dead…" Victor nodded. "And you can get in?"

"The brave soul she has will have to" said Robert answering the question. "But once she is in…she has to get out. You know--" he started and then stopped looking from Victor to me. I could see it was one of his silent conversation and of course I didn't receive anything.

"Uh…" said Victor and I'll be damned I saw a flash of worries in his eyes. "I understand why you wanted him out" he said pointing to the seat where Pavel was before.

I shrugged "I know it's dangerous." I said like it wasn't a big deal.

"That's an understatement Rose! Robert witnessed two reversions and each time the soul of the shadow kissed that visited the limbo didn't make it back."

"What if I don't make it back, if I don't find the exit?" I asked trying to hide my fear and apprehension.

Robert gave me a sad smile, I didn't think I fooled him. "Your light will be in the darkness. The more it will stay there, the more it will turn dark till the day it won't even remember it wanted to get back." He took a deep breath. "On the other side your vessel--"

I quickly glanced at Victor who mouthed _'your body'_

"Will shut off lightly while you are in this deep soulless sleep till the day…till the day it will just shut down for good."

"OK let me summarize. I send my soul in so my body is in a sort of coma," Victor nodded "and if I can't make it back before some time my body will just die and I'll wander in the _'land of death' _forever…Am I right?" I ask trying to sound like my usual brave smartass self but it was hard to pretend since I was scared and worried beyond words. An eternity of wandering…that was an heavy price to pay.

"That's the general idea." Said Victor coolly. It seemed like he didn't care what would happen to me and, in fact I like that honesty, in a strange and twisted way.

"What if I have a guide?" I asked remembering how Andre pointed the entrance of the hole to me.

"A guide?" Asked Victor and Robert simultaneously. They were both surprised and I guessed it took a lot to surprise crazy Rob.

"Another spirit…a spirit that managed to get out of the limbs in the first place. What if I have another spirit to guide me."

Robert shook his head. "…impossible….dead…..agree….sure…stuck."

_Here we go, the half conversation yet again! _I thought slightly annoyed. I felt bad to feel annoyance as it was not Robert's fault, he was just…'out' but it was my life that was at stake here and I felt legitimate to be uncomfortable to risk my soul on a totally fried individual.

Victor sighed before concentrating on me. "He said it would be impossible to convince a dead spirit to join you on your quest."

"Why?"

"Because, as a dead soul, we will most likely be locked in the limbo. How he made it out in the first place is like a glitch in the 'door'. Even if you two find the exit again he will most likely not be able to cross it once more."

I stayed silent for a little moment, chewing on my bottom lip, I knew that Andre would go in with me. He wanted Lissa to be happy and safe, and as terrible and presumptuous as it sounded, he knew that I was an important part of Lissa's well-being and happiness. He would help me make it back even if he couldn't.

"I will have the guide." I said with certainty. "Another question though…" I said quickly glancing at the cockpit door behind me to be sure Pavel was not back. "Is it possible to send the other soul back even if I'm stuck?"

"It happened yes." Said Robert somehow reluctantly. "You are far too brave for your own good."

"You don't want them to know how risky it is for you right? You're scared they'll stop you." said Victor with his evil smile.

"Should I worry about that? Are you going to tell??" I asked trying to keep my cool.

"My lips are sealed Rose. I want to see what happens way more than that."

"I bet you do." I mumbled as Pavel came back.

I sighed then and the rest of the flight was in silence. I never thought I had to risk my soul to save Dimitri's. Could I really do that? Risk wandering for eternity in the limbo, not really dead but certainly not alive. That was a terrible choice to make.


	18. Chapter 18

**A.N: **Hey guys!!!

Firstly a special thanks to Natasha and Shella ( the work you've put in this chapter was absolutely wonderful thanks buddy!!) for taking the time to beta this chapter =D

Oh just so you know there is a new poll on my profile, it will let you guys to choose the subject of my next story. I will let it up for about 2 weeks so…

Well here is some Rose/Adrian that you were longing for.

Don't forget to review and tell me what you think in next chapter….Dimitri.

Thanks again for your support. You guys really rock!!

Take care.

**Chapter 18: **

Once we landed I had made my decision, I was going to go and look for Dimitri's soul. After everything my friends sacrificed and risked, I couldn't just turn away at the last moment and I had to ask myself: Could I ever live with myself, knowing that Dimitri's redemption was within my reach yet I didn't seize it? Did I even have to ask? I knew the answer in my heart. There was no way I would've forgiven myself.

When we stepped out of the plane, there was a black sedan car parked a bit further down with a woman standing by the hood. I knew she was the other Secret service agent and boy, did she made it obvious. I was sure that woman could never go unnoticed in a crowd. If she ever infiltrated something she had to have done it as a guardian, a cop, or something, because anything else would have just been impossible for her to impersonate.

She wasn't old, maybe mid thirties, with pale brown hair cut short like a pixie. She was about my height, so nothing special about her on that level. It was everything else! Her face was hard and her grey eyes were expressionless. It was as if she'd seen far too much, and that fact alone made her seem invincible. From her glance at me, I felt like she no longer expected anything good out of the human race.

Arch went down first to talk with her and I stood under the plane threshold looking down at them. He said that he would gesture to us to come down when we were ready to go.

"It's a state of mind Rose; you will never be like her." said Victor looking down at them, from the shadowy spot beside the door.

I stayed silent. Victor may be an earth user but he had the very annoying ability to read me way too thoroughly.

"And look at the bright side, with the way you are living your life…" he shook his head. "You probably won't reach her age anyways."

I took a deep breath and took the bait like he knew I would. "You don't think we're going to succeed do you?"

Victor look down at me silently for a minute. "For your sake, I really hope we do, because I know you well enough to know that, if you fail, you'll keep fighting the impossible till you fall in the heart of a battle."

I snorted. "Like you care!" I said, still not looking at him, and I was relieved when Arch gestured us down, stopping the possibility the discussion continuing.

"Ahhh, the Dragomir cabin, I missed this place." said Victor as we reached the car.

"I bet you did." I muttered, getting in the car beside him.

When we arrived at the cabin, Arch and the woman, apparently named Smith, took Victor and Robert in the main room, probably to arrange every aspect of the security. Pavel and I took the back entrance as I wanted some alone time with Lissa before she would have to face Victor.

As soon as I walked in the kitchen I froze on the spot.

"No!" I gasped. "No, no, no! You can't be here! You have to go!" I said taking a step back bumping on Pavel's chest.

"Calm down Rose." Said my father approaching me.

"You…" I shook my head "you weren't supposed to be here. It's dangerous; you have to go."

He smiled and rested his hands on my shoulders." It's not that dangerous remember? You keep saying that you are all overly prepared, that it's safe."

"I---" I gave him my best death glare. "THAT was a low blow." I simply said.

"Like father like daughter," he said with a wide smile. "But did you really think I would let you risk your life without being here?" He asked rhetorically. "Think again _Kazim_."

I sighed, shaking my head in defeat.

"Plus I brought my other two guardians" he said, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. "The more the better, right?"

"But _baba_ I---" I started.

"We're all good and it's pointless for you to say anything, I won't budge anyway." He said, walking me toward the main room.

I followed him there, completely forgetting that I wanted to see Lissa. But it didn't matter, because anyways as she was already in the living room.

Lissa was sitting between Adrian and Christian, who held her hand tightly. When I walked in, I felt her joy of having me back radiating through the bond, but surprisingly, that wasn't overshadowed by fear. In fact, there was almost no fear there.

I looked at her quizzically and she smiled.

'_It's actually a lot easier than I thought it would be' _she said directly in my mind_. "I'm surrounded by all the people that love me and six killer guardians. With all these people, he's really not scary anymore. Besides, you're here now." _

I nodded smiling. My Lissa was becoming tougher and it was a relief to figure that one out, she would probably heal and move on with time if I didn't get out of this one alive.

After that we all went in the dining room and sat around the big oak table as the six guardians stood against the wall.

I related what Robert already told me in the plane concerning my need, as a shadow kissed dhampir, to go and retrieve Dimitri's soul from the '_Land of the dead'. _I of course left out the whole _'I-might-not-make-it-back' _part and Victor kept it his mouth shut. He just looked at me with a mocking smile.

"The healing hands have to keep the dark one in the shadow, between the worlds. The dark will be weak enough for the light to claim back its place." Said Robert keeping his eyes on me only.

It was lucky I remembered how much I needed him and that his mental health was not the best, because I was one step away from telling him to take a picture because it would last longer.

Christian shot me such a _'dude-what-the-fuck?!' _look and I had to use all my will power to keep from laughing.

"What my brother means is that you have to weaken the strigoi in Belikov, so that when Rose comes back with the soul, the Strigoi in him won't be able to fight or reject the soul."

"But…how can we weaken a strigoi enough to do that?" Asked Oksana with concern. "I know we're going to make him wear some healing rings and stuff but it's barely enough to glitch his conscience, much less considerably weaken the Strigoi side of him"

"We'll have to stake him." Said Adrian from beside me.

I looked at him with horror. He patted my knee from under the table.

"But that's going to kill him!" Gasped Lissa before I even got a chance to say it myself.

"But that's exactly what we need," Said Victor looking at Adrian approvingly. "You see that's why the spirit users are so important. Once the artificial life escape him you--" he said pointing at Oksana, Lissa and Adrian. "will have to maintain just a thread of life. Just enough for his body to stay intact while _'little miss hero'_"he said pointing at me "retrieves his _'real' _life and puts it back in his body."

I could feel panic coming from Lissa, she was scared that she wouldn't be good enough, that her power would fail her somehow.

"It's all going to be alright." I said looking only at her. "Three spirit users are more than enough. Even if one power breaks, two should be enough."

Lissa nodded and I could feel her relax slightly.

"I still can't believe you managed to get a little alchemist into your rank Rose…I'm impressed," said Victor, diverting the conversation for the whole, _'we need to kill Dimitri to give him his life back'_ chat.

"So what?!" Snapped Sydney.

"I know you have a potion that helps the spirit to leave its body," Victor pointed at me. "You should make one, it would help Rose travel faster."

"How do--"

"How I know things is irrelevant." He said raising his hand stopping Sydney in mid-sentence. "Ask Rose, I know a lot; I just never tell how I know."

I pursed my lips but didn't reply because it was true.

Sydney looked at me. "Yeah I can do that if it can help," she said in defeat.

"Thank you."

"Are we done here? At least as far as you are concerned?" Asked Christian pointing from Robert to Victor.

Victor just smiled, he didn't seem offended by Christian. "Why are you in such an hurry little fire user? But yes, we're done as far as the healing is concerned. At lease in theory; now we need to wait for the practice."

"We need to speak offensive now and since you guys will be in the safe room with the spirit users and three guardians," he shrugged. "You don't really need to hear the fighting strategy."

Victor chuckled "Oooo I see, you want to get rid of the traitor while you are going over your strategy one more time, am I right?"

"Can you blame me?" Asked Christian coolly, keeping his hold on Lissa's hand.

"That's enough!" my father snapped, who'd stayed silent till now. Everyone looked up at him apprehensively. I think my father IS the only person who could actually manage to wipe the smug/cocky smile from Christian's face.

"It's alright," said Victor raising his hands in surrender. "Don't need to get worked up. Robert is hungry and tired anyways, and I don't really care about your tactics little boy. Only the end result matters to me."

When Victor stood up both Arch and Smith took a step forward.

"Two guardians for me alone?? I'm so blessed," he said, shaking his head to gesture Robert to follow him.

As soon as they were out I concentrated on Christian again. "So, 007 what's the big secret?"

Christian chuckled and stuck his tongue out. "It was no secret, I just wanted to annoy him."

"Very mature," I said trying to sound serious although I couldn't help but smile. "So what did you decide while I was away?" I asked looking at Lissa "apparently the plan has…evolved," I added locking eyes with my father.

"Nah nothing changed we just had an…addition" Said Adrian from beside me."We decided to put a weak ward around the cabin."

"Yeah without a ward…" Abe shook his head "no guardian could have bought it and Strigoi or not Belikov used to be one."

I nodded, now grateful that my father was there. I couldn't believe that none of us thought about the ward before.

"Oh and believe me or not but you can totally call me '_captain awesome'_" Said Christian with a wide grin.

"And why is that?" I asked teasing.

"I took only half a potion and I managed to completely burn three dummies at more than 150 yards!" He said literally beaming.

I wanted to tease him, to tell him it wasn't that impressive, but really, it was so impressive. Christian was now the deadliest weapon against Strigoi around. "Well the four Strigoi are going to be a piece of cake for you."

"Yep….First line Ozera." He said as a joke

Lissa smiled to that but I could feel the uneasiness to that statement. She knew he was almost unbeatable as the Strigoi wouldn't except that much power, but she couldn't help it; she just loved him so much .

The rest of the plan remained mostly unchanged. Every Moroi except Christian would be in the safe room with the two secret agents and one of Abe's guardians. Pavel and Eddie would do some fake rounds, although they would still be alert, but with Christian high in a tree they probably wouldn't have to fight any Strigoi as Christian would strike the Strigoi as soon as they passed the ward, except for Dimitri. We had the element of surprise. No one would ever expect a Moroi to be waiting first line.

For position I had to fake the surveillance of the back balcony while wearing the _'Attract-strigoi'_ potion, the Strigoi would be attuned to my sent only…how charming!. I remembered Sydney asking me who would be idiotic enough to want to wear that. I guessed the answer was Rose Hathaway.

Once I face Dimitri, I would have to somehow put healing jewelry on him just for him to have enough of a conscience to let me lead him in the safe room and then…and then it will be the end, good or bad.

Once we were all set I went outside to have a little word with Andre. I was positive he would help me to get to the other side.

Andre showed up as soon as I called him. He informed me that Dimitri was on his way and he only had three other Strigoi with him. Yeah, apparently the Strigoi version of the love of my life had a temper and rather enjoyed decapitating any other being that questioned him with his bare hands…How nice!

Andre also agreed to come with me to the other side.

"_You're one of the best option for me to find my way back to this world. Will you guide me through the limbo? " I asked him uncomfortably knowing it was like a death sentence._

_He nodded._

"_Are you really sure? You…you know that you won't come back afterward." _

_I know he mouthed then he just shrugged and disappeared._

The evening was pretty tense for obvious reasons, the presence of the most famous Moroi traitor, the risky mission we'd face in less than a day, the secret I was hiding… Everything!

We all decided to go to bed early but I kept staring at the ceiling rethinking the plan, imagining how my face to face with Dimitri would turn out.

After about 2 hours, I gave up trying to sleep. How could I, knowing that I would face Dimitri tonight? I looked at Sydney who was snoring soundly.

I was glad that I was the only one worried enough to stay awake. I sighed, wrapping myself tightly into the blanket. I was sure that a little moment in the fresh air of an early morning in the Dakota mountains would help me sleep.

I walked quietly to the back balcony and sat on the wooden bench watching the sun finish raising through the high trees.

"Can't sleep?" Asked a husky voice from the threshold.

I turned my head and smiled to a sleepy Adrian. He was still sleeping, which made him both beautiful and vulnerable.

"I could ask you the same question."

He shrugged slightly and came to stand across from me resting against the banister, protected from the sun by the balcony shade . "Are you ok, Rose?"

"As okay as I can be." I said truthfully with a small smile.

"Everything will be just fine, even…" he looked at me through narrowed eyes. "Even if I know you are hiding something from us. Your aura's told me that much."

I nodded and looked back at the trees' shadows. Adrian was not a fool and I wouldn't insult him by lying. "I'm hiding something but it's not that important. I swear you guys are safe."

"It's not really my safety I'm worried about, Rose." He said with concern.

"I want you to promise me something Adrian," I suddenly said with urgency. I realized… I realized that I couldn't bear the thought of him being hurt.

"Anything." He said almost immediately.

"Well I expect things to go smoothly but we never know right? If something, anything at all goes wrong, I want you to run." I said not able to hide the urgency in my voice. "Run to the plane without looking back. The planes are heavily warded and you'll be safe there."

"Awww, Rose," he smiled at me but he stayed against the banister. "You know how much I like pleasing you, but I guess that's the only thing I can't promise."

"I need you to be safe." I said stubbornly.

"And I need you to stay alive."

"I---Please?" I tried.

Adrian chuckled. "Do you remember when we left the Academy, your mother told me not to forget something?"

"Yeah…" I said warily.

"You asked me what she was talking about and I told you that I would tell you in due time." I nodded, getting more and more intrigued. "I think the time has come."

"I'm all ears." I said crossing my hands on my lap.

"You see, your mom came to see me just before we left, because she knew I wouldn't lie. She asked me if it was really safe enough for you."

I bit my bottom lip so hard I could taste blood in my mouth. He was touching on the thing I was feeling the worst about.

"I told her that you were safe enough, but—" he chuckled, and I could hear that it was to hide his embarrassment. "I said that I didn't know if it would change anything but that I would fight till my last breath to keep you safe."

I looked up at him, mouth agape. I knew Adrian loved me, he'd proved it to me over and over again, but I never thought it was to the point of risking his own life for me. I thought he would value his survival over mine and I didn't blame him for that. I just never thought he loved me to THAT point.

"You know, I realized you need someone to fight for you and I know that I love you more than you love yourself." He looked at me with so much tenderness that my heart tightened in my chest. "You always choose everyone else over yourself but I just can't choose anyone over you…not even myself and I wish I could say I'm sorry but I can't because I'd choose you over anyone and everything else over and over again."

"I love you." I blurted out and right at that instant I knew it was true. But of course it was not enough…far from being enough, especially when I was ready to die for another man.

"I know you do."

I had to laugh. "Well, cocky much!?"

He shook his head. "Your aura…has plenty of pinkish spots when you are with me, and since you came back the pink has increased."

"But I know it's not enough." He continued before I could comment that I was still loved Dimitri with all my heart and soul.

"Not enough?" I tried.

"In any other circumstances I would have taken that love. I would have thought you could love me but…" he shook his head. "I saw you with him, I saw your aura." He took a deep breath and I could tell what he was going to say next hurt him deeply. "It was full force red…I actually never saw an aura like that not even with Lissa and Christian. This love is…after seeing that, I knew that the feelings you may have for me are irrelevant even if it is love. It was far from being Rose worthy."

I stood up and walked to meet him. I raised my hand to his cheek and he leaned into my touch.

"Rose…" he whispered closing his eyes.

"I just want you to know that whether it works or not, whatever will happen from now on, you'll always have a very special place in my heart and that I do love you." I said in his ear fiercely. His words had made me happy yet sad at the same time, and I didn't want him to see that I was on the verge of tears.

Adrian captured my hand and leaned down to give me a chaste kiss. "I think I loved you since the moment I saw you," he whispered against my lips.

He let go and turned to walk back in. He turned back to face me just before reaching the threshold. "And just so you know, I pray every night hoping that things will work out and that you get Dimitri's soul back." I could see the utter sincerity in his eyes.

I was confused. If he loved him that much…why would he help me get someone else? "Why?" I was brave enough to ask.

Adrian stayed quiet for a minute and gave me a sad smile. "Because I love you enough to want your happiness over my own. I love you enough that if you are happy, then I am too. And I know that he is what you need…what you want." He shrugged "It's as simple as that."

I didn't know what to say and just did my best to fight the tears.

"Good night, Rose," he whispered before walking quietly back in the house.

"Goodnight…" I whispered back.


	19. Chapter 19

**A.N:** Hey guys!!!

So, as promise here is chapter 19 with some hot Dimitri in it lol. I want to thanks Natasha and Shella again for taking the time to reread my chapter and tell me what they think of it.

I was absolutely delighted to read all your reviews and I really hope you will enjoy this chapter just as much =D

For the poll on my profile I wanted to tell you that _Vampire Diaries _is wining for now and that you can vote till Sunday.

Well, don't forget to review and tell me what you think. =D

**Chapter 19: **

We all set up the alarm for an hour before sunset, just to be sure THAT we were ready for Dimitri when he came to attack…or to take me away.

Would he want to change here, right on the balcony, or would he take me away again and lock me up in order to taunt me more?

I sighed and stroked my stake idly. I'd decided to take the one Dimitri sent to me at the Academy.

I put some '_attract strigoi' _potion on my neck. It had a sickening sweet scent, but if it could drive Dimitri directly to me, it was worth it.

"Wow girl you stink!" Christian said, sniffing my neck.

"Well it's a nice change…Usually you are the stinky one." I said, playfully punching his shoulder.

"Oh really? I didn't know you were smelling me." He wiggled his eyebrows. "That's nice info Miss Hathaway."

"Yeah well---"

"Rose it's time." Said Pavel, trying to sound relaxed but I could see from the way he stood that he was stressed.

I nodded. "I'll be right over," I said before pulling Christian into a bear hug.

"You be careful Rose, ok? No kamikaze trick." He said, hugging me tight.

"Always." I said with a smile before letting go of him.

"That's not very reassuring." He grimaced.

I chuckled. "Same to you fire boy. Lissa needs you… _I_ need you." I said, pulling him into a hug. It was a good thing the others were already in the secured room or there just might have been some sort of mix up and death wishes and threats would've flown.

Adrian had been the hardest to convince. They all went in the room more or less happily to finish setting everything up for the reversion and Dimitri's captivity. But Adrian…Adrian was a different story.

"_I'm not going anywhere! I said to your mother I would help to keep you safe_,_" he said_, _sitting stubbornly on the kitchen chair. _

_I sighed and took his hand to help him up. "I know that_,_ Adrian_._ Believe me_,_ I know you are brave enough_._ It's just," I intertwined our fingers and looked into his intense emerald eyes."You know what we talked about yesterday don't you?" _

"_Of course! How could I forget when you said that--"_

"_Good_,_" I said_,_ cutting him off. Maybe we were alone in the kitchen but the house was full of Moroi and dhampirs so…super hearing all around. "And do you think I would let you get hurt even a little?" _

"_I guess not_,_" he said. I could hear the caution in his voice. _

"_Ok_,_ and do you think I could be totally focused on the goal if I knew you were roaming somewhere in the house unprotected? Of course not."_

_Adrian frowned suspiciously, I could see he didn't like where I was going because he knew I was right._

"_And you also know that I would risk myself to keep you safe, out of harm's way." I took a deep breath and squeezed his hand. "The best way to keep me safe is to do what is planned and to keep yourself safe so I don't worry unnecessarily and keep my mind sharp and focused."_

_Adrian groaned and grimaced. "You win_,_" he said grudgingly. _

"_It's not a game_,_" I said darkly. "Whatever happens, I lose in some ways." I pulled him toward the safe room where the others were already setting things up. _

"_I love you_,_" he whispered as he went into the room. _

"_Me too_,_" I replied_,_ squeezing his hand once more. _

_Adrian walked into the room and one of my father's guardians guarded it_

"You ok?" Asked Pavel, bringing me back to reality.

"Uh? Yeah." I replied, shaking my head. "I was just…thinking."

"Do you need help thinking?" He asked, trying to sound lighthearted but I could see the honest concern in his eyes.

"It's ok…it's all thought out. But thanks," I said, forcing a smile.

"Anytime," he said with a sharp nod before leaving the room.

I watched his retreating form, thinking that he would've been an awesome friend if he'd just remove the stick in his ass.

"Alright," I whispered to myself. I hid my stake under my hoodie, tightened my hair into a high ponytail and went to wait on the rear deck.

My heart was going a thousand miles an hour and I fought to breath normally so I could regulate it. If Dimitri picked up on my heart rate it would be a disaster. He would know I was waiting for him and be even more weary.

_Calm down Rose…Just breathe_. I kept repeating to myself. I took deep breaths and forced myself to think of those moments right after we would bring Dimitri back. The human look back in his eyes, the tenderness, the love…Soon after, my heart slowed down.

I let my eyes roam on the dark forest around me. I really hoped I'd made the right decision in following the divagations of a mad man.

After a little moment I saw a blinding light coming from a tree on my left.

_Here we go, Christian is fighting_,I thought, gripping the banister.

"Roza," I hear a voice breathe in my ear.

I whirled around, a gasp escaping my lips. I didn't even have to fake my surprise. Dimitri stood before me, my stake lying at the ground at his feet. I couldn't believe he's managed to get to me so quickly and silently.

Dimitri placed my stake on his belt.

"Dimitri how--It's---" I looked around. I heard Pavel shout something but he was too far for me to make out his words.

"Shush Roza," He said, his cold gaze and heartless smile sending shivers down my spine. "How I made my way back to you is not important." His smile grew wider. "You wouldn't want your friends to worry and come out right?" He shook his head." You know I wouldn't mind killing them, don't you?"

"I know," I whispered, still dazed that he made it to me so fast.

"Good." He chuckled. "Come on, cheer up, Roza! We're finally reunited!" He walked closer to me. "That's what you always wanted, remember? For us to be together."

"Yeah… " I said, looking down at my hand. I took off the healing ring I was wearing on my thumb and pretended to play with it. I knew Dimitri would hate the distraction.

"I'm talking Roza, don't you dare ignore me! Don't get me mad!" He took the ring from me violently. "You know you don't like me when I'm mad," he said, coldly sliding the ring on him index.

"I…" I kept looking down, doing my best to hide my smile.

"You know, on my way here I was still unsure of what I should do with you," he said, placing his icy cold fingers to my chin. I shuddered at his touch as he slowly lifted my face to look up into his eyes.

Seeing the ring of red around his irises made me sick, but I tried to keep my emotions in check and my expression blank.

"I changed my mind so many times. Should I just kill you? I mean--" he kissed my lips forcefully. "You don't deserve much more! You staked me…Twice!" He said, showing me two fingers.

"So kill me," I said, trying to keep my voice from shaking. I looked down, again playing with the ring I was wearing on my other thumb.

"Would you just stop doing that?!" He growled, taking my other ring and sliding it onto the forefinger of his other hand.

I thought I could see the light flickering in his eyes, along with a hint of confusion, but he didn't seem to realize that it was coming from the rings.

"I can't kill you Roza." He brought his hand to my cheek and gently brushed my cheekbone with the pad of his thumb. "Ask me again."

"Ask you what?" I asked, honestly confused. I had to move along now. The others were waiting in the room and I just hoped they wouldn't get impatient and start moving around.

"What you asked me on the bridge." He said, so close I could feel his breath on my face.

"What I--" I froze as I remembered now. I had asked him why he'd wanted me to join him, and he'd said that he wanted me. Just that he wanted me, and nothing more. "W-why do you want me to join you?" I asked to humor him.

"Because I love you, Roza." He said. His smile was warmer now. The healing was working; I had to move now. "Always have, always will."

I nodded. "Okay then."

"Okay?!" He asked, surprised.

"I'll join you but… but not here," I said, taking his hand and intertwining our fingers.

Dimitri's eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"I…I can't risk my friends, and I'm still a dhampir for now so I don't want to take the risk and end up hurting them."

"Why would you join me after… after refusing for so long?" He asked, still suspicious.

_Think Rose think! _I thought. "You love me…That's all I need and…" I sighed. "I'm tired of fighting you because," I brought his hand to my lips and kissed it. "As much as I tried hating you, I just couldn't. I mean ,yeah a part of me hated you, but a bigger part of me loved you and I know that I won't be able to get rid of that part. I will love you forever Dimitri, Strigoi or not." I said, keeping my eyes on his because it was the truth and I knew it was the only thing that could convince him.

He was still for a few seconds before he pulled me up and crushed his lips onto mine with so much passion I nearly forgot all of this was an act. I did my best to kiss him back just as fiercely. Once he could feel I was breathless, he bit my bottom lip, piercing the skin with one fang before sucking slowly the small amount of blood.

"I missed your blood Roza, it tastes just…" he sighed with content. "It's just like heaven."

"Let me just say goodbye to Lissa," I said, pointing to the door. "I'll be out in a minute. "

"I'm not letting you out of my sight Rose. I trust you(,) but I'm not an idiot. I'm coming with you."

"But…" I started, trying to look worried, but it was exactly what I was hoping for.

"I won't hurt them, I promise you," he said, squeezing my hand. "I have no quarrel with them, I told you already. I came here to claim what's mine, and that's you. As long as they don't try to stop me," he shrugged. "Nobody will get hurt."

"Ok…" I said, trying to sound wary. I kept my grip on his hand as I pulled him silently in the house with me. I had to remind myself I was doing what was best for him, for us.

As soon as I crossed the door from the kitchen to the living room, I dodged as Pavel, who was as fast as lightening, plunged his stake hard into Dimitri's chest.

Dimitri gasped and let go of my hand, allowing me to turn around. I could see so many emotions in his eyes beside the life escaping him. Pain, betrayal, anger, fear and the most painful…love.

"Why?…" He whispered crashing as he fell to the floor but Pavel caught him before he completely crumbled.

"Open the door!" I shouted, going to Dimitri's left side to help Pavel drag him into the room.

As soon as we walked in, Arch took over for me and helped Pavel set Dimitri down in the cot. The three Spirit users almost immediately knelt down beside him and started to send a small stream of healing magic into him while the two guardians tied Dimitri's almost dead body to the cot just in case.

"Leave the stake," said Victor, who was leaning against the far wall, his hand resting on Roberts' shoulder.

"Christian?" I asked worriedly, looking around.

"Here," he said from behind me.

I turned around and sighed with relief. He looked tired but unarmed.

"Glad to have you back."

"Same goes to you," he said hugging me before rushing beside Lissa.

"Yeah… I'm not done here." I whispered to myself.

At this instant, Andre appeared, materializing with the black hole.

"It's my call," I said to Sydney, and I could see that she handed me the potion with reluctance. "It'll be alright," I said, trying to reassure her…well everyone actually, myself included.

I sat on the chair and drank the potion in one gulp, wincing as the fluid burned down my throat. I closed my eyes as the taste faded and opened my eyes to find that nothing had changed.

I jumped from the chair. "Your potion didn't work!" I shouted to Sydney.

She didn't even turn around to look at me, but kept looking at the healing team working on Dimitri.

"Syd! I'm talking to you!" Still, she didn't move. I growled with exasperation.

"She can't hear you," Andre said loud and clear. I almost forgot how his voice sounded like.

"What?" I asked, surprised.

Andre pointed to a point behind me and when I turned I saw myself! Or, at least, my body that my worried father was cradling. Holy shit, I looked like crap.

"Holly shit!" I looked at my hands. "I'm a spirit!"

"No shit, Sherlock." Said Andre, not able to conceal the sarcasm.

I shook my head.

"Come on, let's go" he said, extending his hand toward me.

"Yeah…" I said, trying to sound far more confident than I actually felt. It was so odd to actually grip his hand, to feel his soft skin. Well, I guess since we were both spirits, the laws of the whole spirit thing were all getting screwed didn't really apply to us anymore.

"I'm here for you; I'll help you make it back. You and him both," he said, squeezing my hand reassuringly as the black hole sucked us in.

_God help me! _I thought as everything went black.


	20. Chapter 20

**A.N: **Hey Guys!!

I know you've been waiting for this chapter and I really hope it will meet your expectations. I also made it **SUPER EXTRA** long for you ( my longest chapter to date =D).

SO I closed the poll on my profile on Sunday and the winner is _Vampire Diaries_ so it will be the subject of my next story.

I also did a new video on you tube called: '_Adrian/Rose/Dimitri: It's you I love_.' if you want to check it out ( link on my profile).

I wanted to thanks Natasha for reading through this chapter =D

A **HUGE** thank you to all my reviewers, I can't even start to explain how much your kind words mean to me.

Well don't forget to review and tell me what you think.

You guys rock!

Steffy.

(P.S: Just a reminder, i do not own VA or any of its characters...i just wish i did lol)

**Chapter 20: **

"That's…" I looked around and it was like a parallel world except that everything was in shades of grey. It was like I would imagine the world after a nuclear attack. So many layers of dust in the air that you could not even see the sun anymore.

"Creepy?" Tried Andre taking my hand.

I chuckled still looking around. I guess you can say that. It looked a lot like an abandoned city that would be shown in horror movies. "Where are we?"

Andre shrugged slightly. "I don't really know but I think I would call it _'purgatory'_ I guess."

"Purgatory uh? And the lights… what are the lights?" I asked pointing to the weird looking stars flying around.

"Lost souls" said Andre sadly. "Just like us."

"But we're not lights!"

"Well that you know of," He said keeping his grip on my hand. "Spirits…Spirits only see what they want to see."

"So what I'm seeing is just an illusion?" I wondered gesturing around.

"How would I know?" He smiled guiltily "I sound far more sure than I am really but…well I think that is the reality because let's face it, who would ever want to see such a lame place?"

I grimaced. "Point taken. But how am I supposed to find Dimitri? They all look the same!" I almost shouted as the panic increased. "I can't stay too long."

"Don't worry I'm sure that when you'll find his soul you'll know it. As for the time well it goes a lot faster here than there. An hour here…" he shrugged "it's merely minutes there."

"Uh…" I grunted. "Well let's not take the chance anyways. We need to find his soul as soon as possible." I said a bit harsher than I intended, but it was a way to hide my fear, not that I thought I had fooled him for even a minute.

"You're the only one able to find it Rose. I… you're the one who knows him best."

"I guess…". I said jadedly.

"Ok, in a world like that, where you see only what you want to, where would his soul be?"

"I…" I looked around trying to think. Dimitri and I were very similar, we completed each other. I could read his heart as easily as he could read mine. Andre was right, if anyone could find his soul, it was me.

"Don't panic, we still have time Rose." He said still keeping my hand in his and it felt good to have an ally here.

"Well I can think about 2 or 3 places" I said unsure.

"Ok then close your eyes and visualize yourself there. It should take us in this part of that world."

I looked at him. "How…how do you know all that?!"

He shrugged burying his free hand deep in his pocket. "After the accident I…I was lost. I saw my parents once but I didn't see Lissa. I didn't know she survived so I started to look for her…and for you for what seemed like months. After a while I realized that you probably made it, that you were both alive, but I couldn't move on until I was sure you would be ok, both of you. I looked for a way to exit this purgatory for months afterwards." He took a deep breath. "That's how I know time doesn't work the same because I thought I spent at least a year or two here, but when I came back to the _'real' _world only a couple of months had past."

"But why didn't you move on?" I asked curiously. Now that he was a talking ghost I rather liked asking the questions. Trying to understand the mime was tiring, hearing his voice was like a vacation.

"Well I couldn't move on before making sure that you guys handled it then…then I got worried as Lissa grew, lets say, unstable." He sighed. "After a while I just noticed that I couldn't, didn't want to leave."

"And yet here you are." I said truly impressed.

"The ultimate help." He smile "Maybe I will be able to move on now."

"So every soul that is here has--"

"Yeah something to accomplished or feel like it." He shook his head. "Anyways let's concentrate on the problem ahead."

"Dimitri…" I whispered. "Well I was thinking about the Academy chapel first."

Andre grimaced. "Religious dude?"

I smile sadly. "No he is not really religious it's just…he liked to go there, he found peace there." _There and in my arms _I added to myself.

"Ok…close your eyes and visualize it." Said Andre securing his grip to my hand.

I closed my eyes tightly and envisioned the Chapel. I even saw Dimitri, head down, on the back pews.

When I opened my eyes, we were in the chapel, standing in front of the altar. Everything was in black and white but there were no spirit…no Dimitri at least.

"Damn!" I shouted before pursing my lips, eyes wide, remembering where I was...In a chapel in the freaking Purgatory.

"It's ok" Andre chuckled 'believe me, I swore so much when I tried to find my way out that I should have been stricken by lighting at least a thousand times."

"But is the chapel, like, real in that world?"

Andre shrugged "I don't think so. As I told you in that reality spirits only see what they want to see but I'm pretty sure that, if you both want to see the same thing, you'll see each other."

" 'Pretty sure'?" I groaned.

"Very pretty sure?" He tried with a wink.

"Yeah well… that's better than nothing" I said already grateful he was there to guide me knowing that he was costing him the small freedom he had left.

"Where next?"

"Baia…His mothers' house." I said closing my eyes and tightening my grip on Andre's hand.

"Siberia it is" said Andre squeezing my hand.

When I opened my eyes this time, I was in the middle of the small living room. Everything was there, but seeing it in different shades of grey made it cold and impersonal…maybe that's what 'purgatory' was all about.

I hoped to find Dimitri's spirit sitting on the sofa, reading one of his mother's precious books, so much that it actually hurt me to see the sofa empty.

"Maybe he is in another room." Andre said probably noticing the hurt on my face.

"Yeah…" I whispered mostly to humor him because I was completely unconvinced by that.

"Dimitri?" I called and felt completely silly. I walked up the narrow stairs trailing Andre behind and went straight to his old room, the one that Viktoria had when I stayed in Baia.

"Dimitri?" I called again from the top of the stairs before opening the bedroom door and it was empty but the little pinch in my chest made me realize that I had hoped to find him in there.

"I'm getting low on options here." I said getting worried and scared at the same time. I was scared of failing so close to my goal. It was all up to me now and I was also scared of being stuck in this place for the rest of eternity. Robert told me, the more I stayed in the spirits world, the more I'll start to blend in, making it harder and harder to find a way out.

"Well just try to focus on your next step, the finish line is irrelevant for now."

"For you maybe," I mumbled.

"Panic is not helping is it?" He asked rhetorically. "So you said 2 or 3 places, what's the third one?"

I nodded. It was annoying to admit it, he was right, but my soul was at stake here…I had the right to panic a bit.

"So…"

"The gym, St Vladimir." I said closing my eyes. I envisioned it but this time I included the fighting session with Dimitri, the one when we shared our kiss. The first time I kissed him after the lust spell.

When I opened my eyes and saw the gym empty, I sat on a bench with my head between my hands.

"I'll never find him." I said defeated.

"Hey hey!! What's this kind of talk? Where is the bubbly, slightly crazy Rose that believed everything was possible once she set her mind?" Asked Andre sitting beside me.

"She grew up…and lost her illusions."

Andre stayed quiet, his hand on my shoulder. "Rough year eh?"

I snorted. "Rough life." I took a deep breath and threw my hands up in defeat. "I don't know where to find him now." I locked eyes with Andre and did my best to contain my tears. "He could be anywhere. I thought of the main places that he could be, I don't know," I shrugged slightly. "In his room, at the Academy in Siberia or--"

"Maybe we don't take the problem from the right angle."

"Oh yeah?" I snorted. "Please enlighten me."

"Maybe he is somewhere that means something to you both. I mean right now you are looking for places that meant something to him."

"I….don't know."

"Each time I heard people talk about you two it was like you were meant to be, like you knew each other better than anyone else. So tell me Rose, if it were you, where would you go?"

"I…" I could feel my cheeks starting to burn as I had flashes of Dimitri's long strong hands on my bare hips, of our naked bodies tangled together.

"Now we're talking" Said Andre with a grin. Apparently even if we were in shades of grey he could notice a blush.

"So Rose…Where is it this wicked place would be?"

"A Cabin… in the woods just behind the Academy."

"One of those old slums?!" Andre grimaced. "Not cool dude."

"Oh shut it! I heard you did much worse esp--"

"_He is falling over the edge!" Lissa shouted. _

"_What do we do?!" Asked Oksana. _

"_He is going to be shadow-kissed" Said Victor._

"Do you hear that?" I asked jumping from my seat looking around.

"No, what?"

"_I'll do it!" said Adrian_

"_We'll have to stop soon. Since Lissa and I can't risk it. It will drain you Adrian, it's not safe." Said Oksana apparently worried._

"_I don't care I have to do it, Rose deserves it." _

"We need to find his soul now!" I said taking Andre's hand. "Dimitri's is dying."

"I…How do you know?"

"Trust me." I closed my eyes envisioning the cabin.

When I opened my eyes I let out a sigh of relief. "Dimitri." I gasped as I saw him sitting on the bed.

"Roza?" He looked at me like I was an apparition which was rather ironic since I was a spirit. "Roza!" He shouted jumping from the bed and pulling me into a bear hug.

"What happened?" He asked letting go of me and resting his hands on my shoulders, his eyes boring into mine. " The last time I saw you, we were in the caves, and I saw you by the exit. I was following you and I felt a sharp pain on my neck. I think I passed out because…because I woke up I was here. I spent years and years looking for you my Roza, but you were nowhere to be found."

It had been 4 months since I lost him, it had to be an eternity here.

"I wanted you to know that I loved you, even if we weren't together it was fine and…" he stopped dead looking at Andre. "Are we…are we dead? Oh Rose," his voice broke. "What did you do?"

"Well it's a bit more complicated but---" I took his hand. "we're not dead, at least not yet, but we need to move." I added reaching for Andre's hand.

I pulled them out starting wander in the woods. I could remember Victor translating Roberts' thoughts to me. _'You are part of the rare one who went to the land of the dead and made it back alive. You are special, you are linked to this place. Only you can find and materialize the exit' _

"Roza I--"

"Shush, I…We'll talk later okay, I need to find an exit." I said trying to concentrate on the people on the other side, where my body was.

I tried to visualize the faces of all the people I loved back with the living.

I heard them before, I knew it was not an illusion, I was still connected to them…to my body. _Save his soul…it's in your hands. _I said to myself and feeling his spirit hand in mine, I'd never been closer to the truth.

"_I…don't know how much longer I'll be able to do it by myself." Adrian's voice was strained._

"_How can we even know if his soul is back?" Asked my father and I could hear both worry and anger mixed in his voice. _

I decided to follow the flow of voices, that was our best bet.

"_When the light reenters the body the healing hands will know. He will have an aura again" Said Robert flatly. _The dude was really out of it.

"_Precious!" Said Adrian through clench teeth. "Well it better be fast I can't even think straight anymore."_

"_Your aura is all over the place" Said Lissa with worry in her voice. "I really don't know how much more you can take. I…It can be dangerous." _

I shook my head and started to look for an exit even more frantically. I tried to concentrate only on the voices and not on the meaning of the conversation because the worry and stress wouldn't help me and I knew it.

We were almost at the end of the forest behind the Academy, almost at the road and the voices were so clear it was like they were beside me.

"It has to be here somewhere…Very close" I said stopping, but still holding Dimitri's and Andre's hand. It was silly, I bet that to an outsider we looked like three little kids holding hands.

"We probably won't see it, you'll need to guide him in it." Said Andre squeezing my hand.

"I know…" I whispered scrutinizing the place around me. I frowned seeing a faint light coming from our left.

There were no lights in this world, it had to be it. The exit

"This way" I said jerking my head on the direction I was seeing the light. "Do you see anything?"

"No nothing…why?" Asked Dimitri.

"Well if you don't see it, it's good a good sign."

The closer we got, the brighter the light became and there it was, a huge and beautiful hole of light.

It made sense, a black hole to go to the land of dead, a bright hole to go back to the land of the living.

I felt so relieved that I couldn't contain my laugher.

"Roza are you ok?"

"She is fine. It means _'it's-okay-I-found-it' _in exhausted Rose language."

I quickly looked up at Andre and couldn't help the little twinge of pain in my heart. I realized now why I missed Andre and it would be like… it would be like losing him a second time around.

"It's just there!" I said letting go of Andre's hand pointing right ahead. "Can't you see it at all? Not even a tiny glitch of light I mean wow…it's literally blinding me."

"Nothing," Said Dimitri narrowing his eyes.

"Nada, but after all I'm dead meat so…" Andre shrugged. "No surprises there."

I couldn't help but chuckle, everything would be right from now on.

"Dimitri you--"

"No Roza you go first." He said with urgency standing straight looking at me like he did so many times when he had set his mind to something and wasn't ready to budge.

I smiled and reached up to cup his cheek. "That's very noble of you comrade but I'm the only one seeing the door, keeping it open. For once, just this once, do as I say and go first."

Dimitri looked at me, lips pursed. He finally nodded reluctantly.

"Don't worry, I'll see you on the other side." I said smiling.

"I don't want to lose you again" he said in a breath.

"You won't." I let go of his hand and went to stand beside the hole. "Okay now you take five steps to your side…Okay and walk toward me in a straight line."

Dimitri nodded. "Roza…Stay with me."

"I will, trust me. Come on." I smiled widely. "I'll meet you there."

Dimitri walked a straight line and entered the light.

"Wow he disappeared! That's awesome." Said Andre with a smile.

I looked at him and reached for his hand.

"Are you sure you don't want to try too? I mean…Maybe if we go together it might work."

Andre smiled and shook his head negatively. "No I think I'm done here. You're both going to be alright."

"Sure?"

Andre nodded.

"I'll miss you."

"Of course…I'm Awesome!"

I chuckled and when I stepped in the bright light it was like colliding with a force field that sent me backward into Andre.

"What the--" I looked at Andre who shrugged loosing all his smugness.

"_He is back!" Said Lissa from the other side. "Holly jolly it worked!"_

"_Why isn't she back then…she has no aura." Said Adrian and I could hear the increasing anxiety in his voice. _

"I have to go back" I said straightening up. "The hole is still here."

"_She possibly won't make it back" said Robert._

"_What?!" Roared Adrian and my father simultaneously._

"_Her light might be stuck on the other side." Robert said._

"_Oh really? And of course you…" Adrian literally growled. "You're a fuc--"_

"_She knew the risks." Said Victor coldly. "She knew she might not make it back"_

"_Of course she did!! Rose is Rose. Idiot!" Adrian added but I knew it was only fear and anger talking. _

"What's happening?" Asked Andre dumbfounded.

"I don't know but it's not good." I didn't even bother to try and hide my panic. "I can't cross again!"

"Try once more."

"Right, you are not the one getting electrocuted!" I mumbled approaching the hole warily. I reached for it with my hand and was rejected. "Damn it!!" I shouted.

"_Do you think I fucking care?! Give it to me!" Shouted Adrian._

"_No!" Said Sydney stubbornly. _

"_Give me that fucking potion or so help me god---"_

"_Adrian! Do you think Rose would want you to put yourself in danger like that?!"_

"_I need to find her! I'll go and look for her there. I---"_

"_You are just as stupid as she is!" Said Victor emotionless. _

"_I swear to you Dashkov, If she doesn't make it back, you won't exit this house alive. Mark my words! I--"_

"Andre help me!" I said with despair. "Things are getting out of hands there."

Andre looked thoughtful, almost sad and that was a first with Andre Dragomir. "Are you sure you want to go back?"

"What?! Of course!!" I said containing the urge to hit him.

"Are you sure? There is not a little tiny part of you that -"

"No! I would never even consid--" I stopped frozen.

"Yes?" Andre encouraged.

"Well I was thinking that maybe…maybe it wouldn't be so terrible if I fell but it was before all that…Before I succeeded."

"_Rose please, Rose come back." Adrian said almost begging. "I brought him back. We made it. You can't give up now." _

"I won't…" I said concentrating on his voice only. " Please, please let me go back. I will never take life for granted ever again." I took a shaky breath. "I need to get back to them."

I was in the purgatory after all, it was the best place to pray. I closed my eyes and tried to get through the portal once more and this time…this time it worked!

"Be happy Rose." I heard Andre whisper as everything faded to black.

"Why isn't she waking up?! She is back in! I can see her aura," I heard Adrian say frantically from beside me.

I was trying to open my eyes but my eyelids were just too heavy.

"I don't-"

"Roza!" I heard Dimitri shout with a voice I barely recognized.

"Somebody restrain him!" My dad shouted.

That was when I really passed out.


	21. Chapter 21

**A.N:** Hey Guys!!

Well it's the LAST chapter of the story, please don't kill me. I'm working on an epilogue and if I leave an open ending it's because I'll write a sequel after my _'Vampire Diaries' _story so you can chill lol.

Anyways I really hope you'll like this chapter and this is OFFICIALLY my longest chapter ever, 15 pages!!

I'll post the epilogue VERY soon.

Don't forget to review.

You guys rock!! =D

**Chapter 21:**

I moved around and realized I was far too comfortable to still be on the floor.

I grunted while I shifted to my side and heard movement as someone rushed by my side**.**

"Rose?" Asked a voice as I recognized as Adrian. He rested his cool hand on my forehead and it felt good. Was he trying to heal me?

"Adrian?"

"Yes I'm here Rose."

My eyes shot open and I jump into a sitting position. "Dimitri!" I called looking around, panic evident in my voice.

"He's okay Rose calm down," Adrian said soothingly trying to push me back on the bed, but gave up after seeing me struggling against him. "It's the middle of the night, you should sleep."

I ignored his comment and looked around frantically. I was in Adrian's room at the Academy. I saw a make shift on the sofa in the bedroom where he was probably sleeping.

"I…Why am I here?"

He shrugged. "You were out Rose, we couldn't leave you like that in your room. The doc said you were out because of exhaustion and that you'd wake up when you felt like it so she wouldn't keep you at the clinic. My room, my room was the only option."

"How long was I out?"

"Three days."

"Three days?" I shrieked. "I need to see Dimitri!" I jumped out of bed so fast he didn't even get a chance to try to stop me.

"It's night Rose, he's probably sleeping." I couldn't help but notice the hurt reflecting in his eyes. "He's…he's different too." He added uncomfortably.

"Different?" I gave him a narrow glare. "Different how?"

"Why don't you just go take a quick shower, there is fresh clothes for you in the bathroom and nobody is going anywhere I promise. Just…Just go."

I looked at him for a minute and figured that he just needed a little time to get ready to tell me whatever he had to.

I nodded, and right now a shower did sound pretty good.

As I let the hot water run on my painful muscles I tried to figure out how Dimitri could be different. Was he blind or deaf or even mute?

"Why on earth would he be mute?" I muttered to myself. I rested my forehead against the tiled wall. I closed my eyes, I had to admit that even if I was overly excited to see my Dimitri I was scared to hear what Adrian had to say to me.

The water was starting to get cold. I sighed and got out of the shower, quickly putting on the pair of faded blue jeans and red sweatshirt that were waiting for me in the bathroom.

When I walked in the living room Adrian was sitting on a bar stool with a steaming cup in front of him.

"So…'' I said standing a couple of feet away from him.

"I bet you are hungry or thirsty. Do you want some coffee?" He said pointing at his cup, "or I'm sure I can have some food del–"

"Adrian Please!" I snapped with begging eyes. "Tell me what you have to tell me." I couldn't stand not knowing what was different about Dimitri.

"Well…" Adrian cleared his throat loudly. "You see Dimitri and I are shadow-kissed."

"Oh…" I said relieved that all he wanted to tell me was that. I sat beside him on a stool. "Thank you for doing that. It means a lot to me."

He shrugged dismissively. "I couldn't have lived with myself if I hadn't done it you know." He smiled probably detecting my guilt over linking him with Dimitri forever. "I'm capable of far more than it seems."

"I always knew that." I told him honestly

"Yeah…" He grimaced slightly.

"What's happening Adrian?"

"Well Dimitri…" He swallowed loudly. "Apparently… okay you see the reversion brought him back, but…"

"But?" I encouraged gripping his hand and I was sure I was hurting him, but he didn't say anything.

"See, well Lissa and I have a theory, we think that once we reversed the state, well the body changed to the closest form of Strigoi."

"I d--" I stopped and looked at him with wide eyes. "My Dimitri is a Moroi?" I shrugged "I don't care. Just tell me where he is staying I need to see him."

"Well he…he sort of is a Moroi but--"

I couldn't hold my exasperation any longer and even if I knew I would feel bad for that in the morning I threw a small fit. "For god sakes Adrian spit it out already!"

Adrian straightened up and I saw the hurt in his eyes.

_I'll apologize later. _I thought crossing my arms on my chest.

"Well he is a Moroi as far as pale complexion, fangs and super hearing, super vision and super smelling is concerned."

"But?"

"But he is also sort of a dhampir and he is as strong as he was before, and apparently the sun doesn't bother him at all and well, in the last three days he didn't take blood at all and it appears that he doesn't need any…yet."

I nodded. "That's something Victor could have told us…" I shook my head, "not that it matters really, but...I'll have a word with him in the morning now tell--" I stopped seeing Adrian's face whiten even more.

I sighed with despair. "What aren't you telling me?"

"Well Victor and Robert aren't here and--"

"Wow Victor is back in jail already? That was fast!!" I said amazed.

"We don't know where they are." He said sheepishly.

"Sorry what? I think I didn't hear you right."

"They escaped."

"They esc--" I choked on the word. "They were in the room with 4 guardians! How --- It's--" I shook my head.

"Well excuse me Miss '_I'm-perfect' _!" Adrian snapped. "We were worried you weren't waking up and Dimitri was well…let's just say he didn't take all the Strigoi memories that well and you know how lethal he was right? Well he kept his strigoi strength so imagine how hard he was to restrain. So our attention was otherwise occupied, but for not more than 10 minutes and when we realized, they were gone! It was too perfect."

I let out a humorless laugh. "He knew… He knew all along." I shook my head and couldn't help but be impressed. "We thought we were playing him, but he was playing us."

"You know Dimitri is having a hard time dealing…dealing with what he did .We are linked you know. I can't see in his head, but I feel the core of his emotions and…well it's hard."

I nodded but I was hopeful. "It's ok, I'll heal him. He's healed me so many times before. He is my strength as I'm his. He let me borrow his strength, it's time for me to give him mine. I'm the only one that can heal him"

Adrian stayed quiet for a minute thoughtful, I could see pain on his face along with resignation. "You are right Rose, you should go to him. He's staying in the last room at the end of the corridor."

"We'll talk tomorrow," I said and I couldn't help feeling guilty.

"Of course" he said and I could see his smile was forced, but I needed to be with Dimitri so much, to feel his body against mine, his lips on mine that I couldn't concentrate on anything else…what kind of friend was I?

I ran to Dimitri's room and almost took down the door by knocking so hard. I knew I was acting like a kid, but I didn't care.

Dimitri opened the door and I didn't notice his skin complexion or his fangs or any other changes. The only thing I saw was his warm brown eyes, that was all that mattered to me, it was like the light at the end of the tunnel. There was no red in his eyes.

_The love of my life is back _I thought before crashing into his chest taking in his familiar sent.

When he was a Strigoi Dimitri smelled divinely good of course, but it was not the sent I was longing for, maybe it was because he was undead that he smelt differently. But now, now he smelt just like I remembered, that intoxicating sent.

"Roza…You're awake," he whispered with clear relief burying his face in my hair and hugging me back fiercely.

He took a couple of steps back, pulling me in the room.

I found the door with my foot and kicked it shut.

"Oh my Roza…" He whispered again kissing the top of my head.

I delicately moved my head, stood on my tip toes, and as Dimitri was still leaning down, I found his lips with mine.

I started to kiss him feverously locking my arms around his neck to keep him to me.

Dimitri was frozen for a moment, probably surprised by the intensity of my kiss, but he was kissing me back almost immediately afterward. Our lips were moving in totally sync, like they could recognize each other, like we never stopped.

"I love you so much" I whispered against his lips, needing him to know.

"I love you too, with every fiber of my being" he said before crashing his lips on mine and kissing me almost painfully.

The room was silent except for our passionate kissing and ragged breathing.

I slid my hands under his shirt and started to let my fingers trail on Dimitri's perfect stomach, playing with the top of his Pj pants.

"Roza wait --"

"No, we'll talk tomorrow I just want to be with you." I said stopping him from talking as I pulled his shirt up and started to kiss his chest while letting my tongue play on his skin between each kiss.

Dimitri groaned.

I smiled against his skin. "Why? Don't you want to be with me?" I asked finally looking up, vulnerability in my voice.

Dimitri just nodded helping me to get his shirt out of the way.

I removed mine too and it was like living again to feel his hands on me, his cool skin against my burning one.

I put my hands in the waistband of his pants and pulled him to the bedroom.

Dimitri laid me delicately on the bed and came towering on top of me.

I looked at his beautiful face, flushed with lust. His eyes were lit with the same desire than I felt. Here, with his hair falling around his face like a halo, it literally made my chest ache with love.

"I missed you so much." I said as he started to kiss my collarbone sensually. "I'll never lose you again" I said closing my eyes.

Dimitri kissed me up the neck to my mouth again. I could feel his fangs but I didn't care.

We finished taking off our clothes in less than five minutes, you didn't have much inhibition when you loved and missed someone as much as we did.

That night was everything I hoped for and more. Dimitri was a very attentive and gentle lover. I realized feeling his strong shaky hands on my bare hips, as our bodies connected in every possible ways that he needed me as much as I needed him. I was as much his redemption as he was mine. We were just meant to be, it was as simple as that.

I woke up later than night feeling content and whole for the first time it what seemed an eternity. I finally thought that everything would be alright. I let my hand roam on the other side of the bed and my heart skipped a beat when I found it empty.

_Was it all a dream? _I thought as a terrible pain clutched my chest. That pain faded the instant I opened my eyes as I saw Dimitri, sitting at the foot of the bed completely naked looking at the wall.

I looked at his perfect profile for a minute. He was only slightly illuminated by the alarm clock, but my dhampir vision helped me to see that he was lost in his thoughts and whatever he was thinking hurt him, hurt him in his flesh. I knew him enough to see that even if I gained my redemption Dimitri needed to get his salvation.

"Dimitri? Are you alright?" I asked sitting up, clinging the bed sheet on my bare breasts.

He was still looking in front of him like he didn't hear me.

I inched closer and touched his arm.

"Dimitri?"

He turned his face briskly and he had to be really lost in his thoughts.

"Roza?.." Recognition filled his eyes, He smiled. "You should sleep Roza" he said finally bringing his hand to my cheek gently brushing my cheekbone with his thumb pad.

I leaned in his touch and closed my eyes. "I slept for three days." I turned my head slightly and kissed his palm. "Plus I can't sleep knowing you are a couple of feet away from me, not holding me into your arms." I said with a mock scowl.

"That's true, it's unforgivable." His smile was brighter now but I could see the underlying sadness and distress behind it, he could try as hard as he wanted, I knew him better than anyone else.

"Move" he said standing up before joining me under the covers.

As soon as he was back in the bed I closed the small distance between our bodies and cuddled with him, my ear on his chest to listen to his slow heartbeat.

Dimitri started to caress my hair gently.

"I'm here for you, I can hear it all. I'll go begging in the rain, if I can spare you any pain. When it comes to you I have no shame." I said before kissing his chest. "Talk to me Dimitri…please." I added wrapping my arm around his strong waist.

Dimitri stayed quiet for a little bit still caressing my hair, the only change came from his faster heartbeat.

"I know you are here Roza, I know you do." And oddly enough he sounded almost pained by the idea. "But you were right we have tomorrow so lets enjoy each other's presence tonight, lets enjoy what is right." He added as his hand left my hair and started to roam slowly down my spine.

I shivered with anticipation and looked up to meet his troubled yet loving eyes.

"I love you" I said moving up slowly to gently brush his lips with mine.

"That's why we are here" he said with a small smile. He brought his hand that was on my back to the back of my head to keep me in place. "I love you more than I can say. Whatever happens from now on it will never change." He said before deepening our kiss.

We made love again, but contrary to the first time that night when it was sometimes rough, almost animalistic filled with lust, need and desire. This time was a lot slower, softer, as if we were taking time to rediscover each others bodies, to engrave it in our memory.

When I woke up that morning Dimitri was holding me tightly and I had my face buried in his neck.

I kissed his neck.

"Good morning Roza" he said tightening his hold around my waist.

"A very good morning indeed." I said in a sleepy voice snuggling even more against him. I couldn't help to wonder how long he had been awake for because he sounded so wide awake.

My stomach growled embarrassingly loudly.

Dimitri chuckled. "Come on Roza" he said loosening his hold around my waist. "I need to feed you."

He got out of bed so fast that I would have missed it if I blinked. Adrian didn't kid when he told me that his reflexes where different. Dhampir Dimitri had been fast, but this one was even faster, actually I could even say that he was as fast as his Strigoi self.

He looked at me with my brows furrowed. He probably saw the confusion on my face.

"Roza?"

"Yeah," I smiled. "I'll be over in two minutes" I said scanning the room for my clothes.

As soon as Dmitri left the room I jumped out of bed, hopped in the shower and dressed quickly.

When I walked into the living room Dimitri was just setting a steaming cup of coffee and some buttered toasts.

Dimitri sat across, looking at me with a small smile.

"You should go check on your friends Roza," He said after a little while holding his cup. "They were going crazy worrying about you."

I nodded reluctantly.

"I'm not going anywhere Roza, I'll be here when you're done I swear." He said probably understanding my reluctance to leave him.

"Yeah…" I quickly glanced at the clock on the wall, it was still very early but I was sure that my father would be awake. I quickly finished my cup. "I'll see you in a bit" I told him standing up.

Dimitri walked me to the door holding my hand. "I'll be waiting for you" he said before giving me a quick chaste kiss.

"You better" I said teasing but I still had an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach, like something wasn't right. I just couldn't put a name on it.

I quickly got up to my father's floor and stopped frozen when I saw the person doing the walk of shame from his room, still having pillow creases on her face.

"Mom!" I said as my mouth popped open.

"I…" She blushed looking quickly around her, maybe trying to find an exit. "It's not what you think!"

"Oh cool, I thought that you just spent the night in my fathers' room. By the way," I pointed to her shirt. "You're wearing it the wrong way. "

I knew it sounded childish, but I couldn't imagine my mother as a sexual being even if she had to do it at least once in her life to have me. But Janine Hathaway was just…she was just so serious, so mechanical. I couldn't picture her doing what I just did in between the sheets….Dang, now I could! I really would need therapy.

"I…" She straightened up, head high. "I see you are awake, I'm so happy, we were worried sick".

"Uh huh…" I said not able to conceal my smile. She decided to ignore the situation, so I would do the same. "I was just coming to tell Abe that I was better can I go in or…" I pointed to his door.

"Why couldn't you?" She asked dismissively.

"Awww Mom," I shook my head. "I'll see you later, you better, well you know..." I pointed to her shirt again

"See you later" she said giving me a quick hug before rushing to the lift.

"That was…awkward" I muttered once the door closed on her.

As expected my father and friends were just ecstatic to have me back and well.

Over the next few days I helped get ready for our move to Court and get ready for graduation the following week. Dimitri was a bit distant, but I figured that he needed time before confiding in me. I knew him well enough to know it was the way he was.

I was informed that the two Secret Service agents had somehow been held responsible for Victor's disappearance and that they were both on the mission to bring him back.

I felt bad for them, but even if I wanted I couldn't help, I had to help Dimitri and keep Lissa safe. They were my only priorities.

Dimitri spent most of the time in his room and I knew it was not good for his peace of mind but we decided that it would be a terrible idea to make him reappear at the academy now as we were about to leave. Most of the youngsters wouldn't understand and it would be more polemical than anything else.

Dimitri and I hadn't been intimate since that first night and knowing he was so close to me, made me long for his touch even more.

So, I decided to sneak into the guest pavilion that afternoon as I really wanted to be with him. Maybe he was ready to share with me now.

I tried the door knob silently to check if the door was open. I wanted to surprise him. Well… it was a bit of a lost cause since, with his freakishly acute hearing, I didn't think that anyone could sneak up on Dimitri ever again.

I grinned opening the door, maybe he was waiting for me after all.

However, as soon as I entered the room, I could hear some hush voices coming from the living room. It was quiet, but it was clearly an argument and I knew both voices so well I couldn't make a mistake. Adrian and Dimitri were fighting and I was only too scared to discover the reason of it.

"That's why you made me come?" Asked Adrian in a cold harsh tone. "I don't know but maybe you've mistaken Rose with some kind of perishable goods."

"It's not that Ivashkov and you know it. It's--" Started Dimitri he sounded tired, strained, like each word was costing him.

"How are you going to break that to her?"

"I don't know" Said Dimitri with defeat.

"Why on earth did you tell me all that? I don't even like you! Hell right now I think I even loathe you!"

Dimitri stayed quiet for a couple of seconds and I couldn't help the increasing panic to fill me. A hurt deep in my chest. I wanted to move from my hidden spot I just couldn't, I wanted to know more.

"Because you love her." Said Dimitri quietly. "I saw it in your head, the love you feel for her, how you are suffering to see her loving someone else. You love her enough to die for her. I--"

"And do you think it makes things alright?!" Asked Adrian with disbelief getting even angrier. "Do you even know Rose? I thought you knew her better than anyone else did. She doesn't want me, she wants _**YOU**_! She _**LOVES YOU**_"

"I---"

"I shouldn't have saved you" Adrian spat. "I did it for Rose, but I should have let you die, you don't deserve her and she would have been better without you."

"At least we agree on that." Said Dimitri with so much pain that he got me out of my stupor.

I walked into the room.

"Adrian? Dimitri? What's going on here?" I asked with a shaky voice realizing I had some fresh tears running down my cheeks.

Adrian face, that was contorted with fury, softened almost immediately when he locked eyes with me. His eyes was full of sorrow.

"It's alright Roza, we just…" He quickly glanced at Adrian. "I need to talk to you."

Adrian snorted. "Yeah you do that." He walked away but stopped just beside me. "I'll always be here" he said before gently kissing my cheek.

Dimitri stayed silent for a little while after Adrian left. The silence made everything so much worse.

"Talk to me Dimitri please." I said deciding to break the silence before it could drive me mad. "I can hear it all, staying, leaving or even surrendering, but just talk" I added trying to sound much stronger than I felt.

"I'm leaving" he said softly.

"That's a given." I smiled "I'm leaving too, we all are. Talking about that Lissa is--"

"No you don't understand I'm leaving…alone." He said and I could hear the guilt in his voice.

"Oh…" I let out in a wheezing sound like someone just punched me in the stomach. "Please, please tell me you are joking" I added fighting the tears with all the strength I had.

"I…no" he said taking a step toward me.

I quickly took a step back. "Please tell me you are joking" I repeated as anger, betrayal and pain were filling me gradually. "Please tell me you are not taking back every promise you ever made me. You said you'll never let go, that you needed to be with me."

"You don't understand Roza,"

"Like hell I don't!" I shouted having more and more trouble containing my tears. "Please comrade enlighten me."

"I..." he sighed and ran his hands through his hair. "I need to heal Rose, I need to deal with my past to construct a future with you. I'll be back I…I couldn't give up on us."

I knew he was tortured and discovering that he didn't intend to leave me forever calmed me slightly. "But you said you wouldn't let go when I found you on the other side."

"I didn't remember then, I didn't know what I did as a Strigoi and I need to forgive myself for--"

"But it wasn't you!" I said rushing toward him and taking his hand. "You were not inside anymore. "

Dimitri looked down at me, his eyes were even sadder. "I remember it just the same. The begging eyes of the victims when they realized they were going to die. I was the face of death Rose and inside or not…" He shook his head. "I can't deal with that."

"But I'm here, you helped me so many times. You lent me your strength. Let me be here for you." I took his other hand, "Take my strength and let me heal you. You can be open with me…Vulnerable" I said remembering the chat we had in the gym just after Mason's death when he recognized how hard it was for him to admit that I could read him.

"I need to go Rose, for a while at least. I have to deal with that by myself." He said and it had the effect of a slap, he was rejecting me.

What could I say? He knew how I felt, he knew all the sacrifices, all the risks I took to have him back and he wanted to leave anyways. There wasn't much I could have done except, except maybe trying to hide how much it hurt.

"Where will you go?" I asked barely louder than a whisper looking down at our intertwined hands.

"I don't know, maybe I'll visit my family in Baia for a while may...maybe I'll…I don't know."

"When will you come back?"

"I don't know."

I nodded slightly, still looking down while blinking my tears away.

"I want to come with you." I said looking up.

Dimitri had a sad smile. "No Roza, I need to do this alone and I know that you of all people can understand that."

_I was like that before I met you, but once you entered my life you were far more important than all my stupid fears and my stupid pride. _I thought. That was what I should have said, but I just kept staring at him without a word.

"And I don't know when I'll be back" he said and I felt liked I was being slapped yet again. "You can't jeopardize everything. Your friends need you, your family needs you."

"But you don't" I said trying to sound as neutral as I could.

"Of course I do!" He said sounding offended. "You know how much I need you Roza."

_Apparently you don't Comrade, at least not enough. _I thought but I kept it to myself simply letting go of his hands, taking two steps back silently.

"And I'll be back I swear, you just need to go on with your life while I try to make peace with myself and forgive what I did, consciously or not. I have to do that Roza, how can I build a future if I can't deal with my past? How can I create memories when I only want to destroy the ones I have?"

"You've got to do what you've got to do." I said and I was pleased that I didn't sound nearly as hurt as I felt. It hurt so bad, I could feel physical pain, I could even taste the bile in the back of my throat.

"You have to understand Roza I--"

"I do Dimitri" I said cutting him off. I looked at my watch. "I need to go and meet Alberta about graduation, but I'll see you later" I said walking backward toward the door. I was not lying except that I still had two hours before meeting her. But I knew I had to go now, go before I'd beg him again to stay or to take me with him.

"Roza--"

"I'll see you later" I said rushing out of the room almost running back to my room.

On my way there I couldn't help but hear the lyrics of _Alive_ by Leona Lewis.

_I breathe, I hear_

_But I don't believe it _

_My heart, it beats_

_But inside I'm freezing _

_My hands shake _

_They've lost all their feeling_

_Nowhere to take_

_You say that you're leaving_

_And there's no turning back this time_

_Gotta stay alive_

_Where do I go when I'm so alone?_

_Where do I turn when you are so close?_

_We try not to crash but we still collide_

_Tears I've cried, I'll survive_

_I'm alive_

Yes I was alive but would this new pain inside fade? Would he really come back to me? Why did I have to fight so hard to get him back, just to have him abandon me?


	22. Epilogue

**A.N:** Hey Guys!!!!

So here is the epilogue =D. I will be working in a sequel later on but I need to write my '_Vampire diaries' _story first. I should post the first chapter sometime next week.

Oh did you guy read the **official 1st**** chapter of Spirit Bound **that Richelle put as a bonus in the Vampire Academy signed edition?? I was so psyched about it. My reaction was actually and I quote myself "OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG", true story!!

Anyway, don't forget to review the epilogue.

Thank you again for your support through the whole story, you made it a really blast.

Take care

Steffy =D

**Epilogue**

**1 week later:**

Here I was standing before the crowd coming to congratulate us on our achievement. We were now full grown dhampirs ready to die for the Moroi we were trained to protect.

I was graduating top of the class, it would have meant the world to me not more than 6 months ago. I would have jubilated thinking about sticking it up high in the butt of my detractors but now…it didn't mean that much anymore.

I would be lying if I didn't recognized that it made me proud but it actually made me proud _**BECAUSE**_ it made my friends and family so proud.

I looked at the people before me and I could see the pride in my father's and mother's eyes. I could feel that same pride coming from Lissa, even Christian looked proud! Mark and Oksana stayed too for my graduation and the Moroi's one tomorrow. I looked on the left and saw Adrian standing at the back of the crowd and even if he was far I could read so many things in his face, things that made my heart ache.

Finally, I looked up to the top floor of the dhampir dorm as I knew Dimitri would be watching the ceremony from there.

I found him on the far right corner. He was just a shadow for us but I knew that, with his brand new vision and hearing, it would be like standing in front of me for him.

I cleared my throat and did what they were all expecting from me. I talked about the great future ahead of us, I didn't forget to mention the friends we lost during the battles and all those generic things they wanted to hear. I didn't want to go too personal as I barely held it together as it was.

After the congratulations, I took off my ugly graduation gown and threw it on the pile with the others.

"It's time to partyyyy!!" said Eddie swinging his hips shoving me.

"You bet" I said with a wide smile. "You guys go ahead" I said to my family and friends. "I'll meet you in a little bit."

I winked at them trying to sound as cheery as I could before entering the dhampirs' dorm and rushing to the window where I saw Dimitri.

When I walked up I found him still staring out the window.

"You were perfect my Roza," he said not turning around. "You didn't put much of yourself in the speech but I guess I can understand why."

_Because I'm heartbroken and on the verve of breaking down every minutes of every day since you told me that you were leaving me. _I said to myself. "Yeah well I needed to reach the majority and my experience with life today is a bit peculiar." I said instead.

"It is indeed" he said finally turning around. "I'm going to miss you, you know that" he said and I could hear the profound sadness in his voice.

"I…" I looked at him confused before looking around. My eyes locked on the beige duffle bag on the floor. I kept my eyes on it silently like if I stared to it long enough it would just disappear.

"I'm leaving now." He said locking his eyes on the bag too.

_No shit Sherlock! _I thought bitterly, but I needed to keep the appearances, it was not like I could change anything anyways. "Already?" I asked trying to keep my voice from shaking as a lump formed in my throat.

He nodded slowly. "I just needed to see you graduate Roza, it was…It was important for me."

_And what about what is important to me uh? Like you being beside me? _I thought yet again stopping myself from expressing my thoughts but I was not sure I fooled him as I saw a shadow in his eyes.

"You know that it's not because I don't love you right? I love you more than I thought was possible, it's---Never doubt of my love Rose it's the only thing in this world that is unchangeable and deeply anchored in every fiber of my being."

"I know…" I said in a breath. "It just not enough right now, for neither of us." I said hurt.

"Rose…" He took two quick strides to stand just in front of me. I didn't look up, keeping my eyes leveled on his chest. He brought his cool hand on my neck making me shiver like every time his skin touched mine. "I'll come back, you'll always be in my mind," He kissed the top of my head.

I sighed closing the distance between our two bodies resting my forehead on his chest. "I love you."

"As I love you" he whispered in my hair. "But you should continue to live your life Rose, don't put your life on hold because I'm not here. You did that enough." He said now resting his cheek on the top of my head.

I stiffened in his arms. I wanted to kick him like each time he was saying that. It was like saying _'I will probably not come back so don't hold your breath and just move on' _.

"Your friends are probably looking for you" said Dimitri tightening his grip around me.

I kissed his chest. "Yeah you're right you better go."

He too a deep breath and lift my face with his forefinger.

He kissed my lips slowly, almost painfully like it was probably the last kiss we'll ever have. It was the first time that kissing Dimitri was actually hurting me.

I didn't even notice the quiet tear that escape my eyes before he softly dried it with the pad of his thumb.

I could see the love and hurt in his eyes but I could also see his guilt, remorse and haunting memories. I knew it was what he felt he had to do but it still hurt me. It was hard to be rational when you felt abandoned.

He sighed again reaching for his bag. "Go to your friends Rose, they love you."

I nodded hoping that the feeling of his lips against mine would linger for the length of his absence.

"I'll miss you" he said before turning around walking slowly to the back building staircase.

"I'll miss you more" I whispered once the door closed behind him.

However, instead of going down to the party, I walked to the other side of the building, in one of the abandoned lounge facing the parking lot and I stayed in front of the window watching Dimitri soft steps as he was leaving my life once again.

Each of his step toward the iron gates were breaking my heart but I knew I couldn't do anything to keep him back. I was just not enough...for now.

When he stepped put the little door beside the huge iron gates and turned right after the guard post, without even a look behind, the remaining part of my heart broke in a million pieces.

I let out a sound that surprised me, it was half way from a groan and a cry.

I kept my eyes locked on the gates even if he was gone now. Did a part of me hoped he would come back? Love never was and never would be rational.

After was could have been mere minutes or an hour I heard light footsteps coming my way but I didn't move.

"Rose?" Asked Adrian walking slowly in the room. "We're all expecting you downstairs."

I nodded still looking out. ""He left" I said keeping my voice as steady and void of emotion that I could. Adrian stayed silent, too silent. "But you knew that already."

"I did" he said simply, I could hear from his voice that he was closer to me than before.

We stayed silent a bit longer, I appreciated him just being here silently.

"How are you doing Rose?" He asked and the solicitude in his voice made my heart tighten.

I forced a smiled and eyed him quickly before returning my attention on the window again. I was about to serve him the well prepared speech that I had been giving them for the past two weeks, since Dimitri and I announced them he would be going away for a while. I repeated that speech so many times in my head that I even started to believe it myself.

"I'm doing fine, I won't say it's not a bit hard to watch him go but I understand why he has to do it." I shrugged. "He'll be back soon anyways." I added as I had a little stabbing pain in my chest.

"Yeah I heard that speech a couple of times before but I have to give it to you, it gets more credible every time you say it."

I turned slowly and locked eyes with him silently.

"You are not fine Rose, maybe you can fool the others" he shrugged his left shoulder cocking his head to the side, "but you can't fool me, I know you are not fine."

"Oh yeah I forgot… you could see it in my aura" I said not able to contain the cold edge in my voice.

"No, I can see it in your eyes."

I looked at him agape. "How? If the other can't…how can you?"

"I think they can, they are just denying it. You need to talk to someone Rose and I would love to be that someone."

I looked at him silently a minute, lips pursed, actually considering that. He was one of the person that I trusted the most. I couldn't talk to Lissa as she had enough to deal with.

I took a deep breath and looked away again. "What do you want me to say Adrian?"

"Anything, just…anything as long as you mean it."

"I know it's terrible but part of me feels like he betrayed me by leaving, like he is spitting on everything we did to bring him back, and I know, I know it's terrible to say that," I quickly glanced at Adrian but his face didn't give anything away. "I'm just so mad and sad and betrayed and…everything in between."

"It will get better Rose and as far as I could feel he really do love you." He said with a sad smile.

"Doesn't make me feel better" I muttered to myself.

"I'm going away for the summer" I finally let out. The new appointed guardians had the summer after graduation off and since Dimitri left I planned to use it.

Adrian didn't even seem surprise about it.

"You don't seem surprised."

"I'm not" He said keeping his eyes locked with mine.

"You knew?"

He nodded.

"Lissa told you?" I asked surprised that she would spill something like that. I decided to talk to her about me going hunt Victor. She went ballistic at first of course but I told her it was just for the summer and that she could join me when everything would be settled for her at the Court and with her next semester at Lehigh. It calmed her down quite a bit even if I knew that the Queen would keep her occupied for the whole summer.

He chuckled but it was not an happy laugh. "No she didn't but I know you Rose, when you are feeling bad you have to go and fight some random crusade to make you feel better."

_How could he know me so well? _I thought really impressed. "I'm going to go and try to find Victor."

"I want to come with you."

"I…Pavel is coming with me." I said not really knowing why but it was true. My father and even Pavel himself wanted to come to help me out.

"Good to know but I'm still coming with you." He said crossing his arms on his chest to show me his determination. "I know you don't need my money this time or even my friendly pre--"

"Okay" I blurted out stopping his ranting.

"Sorry what?" He asked wide eyes.

"I said okay, you can come with us." He was still looking at me like I had two heads and if I wasn't so broken right now I would have laughed.

"I…Really?" He asked narrowing his eyes slightly thinking it was a trick.

I nodded. "Yeah really. Why? Don't really want to come?" I asked with the ghost of a smile this time.

"Of course I want to!! I just never thought you would give in so easily." He said still suspicious.

"Well I guess there is a first for everything" I said shrugging slightly. But it was true, I did have some ulterior motives to bring him along. Firstly I did enjoy his company and he was very good at annoying me which would probably help me to keep my mind off Dimitri. Secondly, if Lissa knew I was bringing Adrian along it would ease her mind knowing that I would never put one of my friend at risk willingly…at least not really. Finally, I was bringing him along for a selfish and shameful reason…his link with Dimitri. I promised Dimitri I would let him be, go on with my life and let him heal at his own pace but if he was feeling too low, too depressed I knew that Adrian would tell me and I would go to him wherever he liked it or not. Moreover, I wanted Adrian around so Dimitri could find me, come back to me if he wanted too. I knew it was more than unlikely for him to come back before the end of the summer of course, but I still needed that hope, that faith that it would be as hard for him to consciously live without me as it was for me to be without him.

"When are we leaving?" He asked once his surprise faded.

"In a week time, we'll move to the Court during the week end and once I get my room assigned we should go, probably Monday or Tuesday at the latest."

"Everything is organized already?"

I nodded, "my father is very efficient" I said not able to conceal the fondness in my voice. Who would have thought even 6 months ago that I would have these kind of feelings toward my father? "Everything is ready, he just needs the specific date and the plane, Pavel included, will be expecting me on the Court Runway."

"I always dreamed to go on a road trip" he said teasing.

"Wish granted" I replied finally turning my back to the window accepting that Dimitri would not be coming back today. "Come on let's go, the others are waiting." I said walking to the door not really knowing of what tomorrow will be made of.

"I'm here Rose, no matter what" he said taking my hand, intertwining our fingers.

I gave him a small smile. "I know" I said knowing deep in my heart that it was the truth.


	23. AN

**Author note:**

Hey Guys!!

The sequel of Spirit Bound: Redemption is posted and it's called **The Cradle of hope**.

I also need a proofreader for it, if any of you is interested please PM me ASAP.

Take care, Steffy.


	24. AN help please

Hey guys,!!

I** need your help**!! I guess most of you've seen my video 'Rose and Dimitri: Epic Love' that I posted on you tube (link on my profile www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=iuR7R-eDm90) well I discovered today that someone uploaded it on their own account even copying the text on the side bar and he/she is trying to take all the credits for it!! (www(dot)you tube(dot)com/watch?v=BFeAzSPZ_8s) Please you have to understand the number of hours I spent making that video and I think my rights as the creator should be respected!! His/ Her username on you tube is _**moviecomeingsoon **_(www(dot)you tube(dot)com/user/moviecomeingsoon)

Help me spread the word and stop this plagiarism. Comment on his/her profile, anything really to show her/him it's not all right to steal other people hard work.

Thanks for your help

Steffy 2106


	25. Note

Hey Guys!

I'm going to do something totally shameless and ask you to vote for my video I really REALLY want to win!

I made the top 10 (Well 11 really) and I wanted to know if any of you would like to vote for me pretty please? If I win I will post a poll and wrote a story that YOU want me to write!

My trailer is Trailer 11 (Steffy2106)

And the link is…jenniferarmentrout(dot)blogspot(dot)com/2012/02/obsidian-fan-made-trailer-voting-is-now(dot)html

Thank you SO SO SO SO SO MUCH!

PS for those who wait I will update Rebirth by Wednesday at the latest


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